Just Out of Reach
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: Co-writer: livsgirl - Olivia and Casey have to face the greatest loss. Will their love be enough to overcome it or will it destroy them? T-M
1. Reassurance

Just Out of Reach

**Chapter 1: Reassurance**

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

Olivia walked into the precinct after lunch.

"Liv, you need to get down to the hospital," Elliot said, handing her jacket to her.

She took it, giving him a questioning look. "So are you going to tell me why?"

He sighed. He knew the two of them had been trying for kids. "Casey. She collapsed in court."

She sighed. "Uh oh, that doesn't sound good."

He nodded. "Exactly. Let me know how it goes."

She was barely able to keep her focus. She and Casey had been together a little over two years now, though gay marriage wasn't legal, not anymore. It had been for about six months, but back then they hadn't even thought of that. Back then they'd only begun to date and nothing was certain.

The guys at the precinct were fine with them, as was Liz, who was the only person who really needed to know in the DA's office. If others knew well…they were both willing to bet that most crimes wouldn't be reported because they would, unfortunately, be singled out. Of course, people had figured it out, but once they had, she and Casey had made even more of an effort to be careful.

* * *

Walking into the hospital, she walked to the reception desk, but had to wait a few moments before she was paid mind. "Yes, can I help you?"

"Casey Novak?"

"Are you Olivia Benson?" the receptionist asked, straightening her glasses on her nose.

She nodded. "Yes, I am. I just got the message."

She typed something in, then looked at her clipboard before returning to her. "She's on the 3rd floor. Room 302."

"Thank you," she said, bypassing the elevator and scaling the steps quickly, knowing she could get there quicker.

Once she reached the third floor, she saw the doctor coming from the room. "Excuse me?"

"Detective Benson. What can I do for you?"

She leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath a bit before she spoke. "C-Casey Novak, is she all right?"

His eyes narrowed. "She's okay yes, but…"

She bit her lip, looking down. "C-can I see her?"

He nodded. "Right in there. But just so you know, she's been unconscious since she was brought in, so…"

She sighed. "She doesn't know."

He nodded. "Correct. Would you like me to be the one to tell her with you in with her?"

"Yes. I'll try not to wake her too soon though. She'd been worried about this."

"It doesn't look like she was too far along."

Olivia shook her head. "No, only about two months."

"I'll stay in the area."

She nodded, walking quietly into the room and sitting in the chair by Casey's bed. Gently, she took her hand, bringing it to her lips to kiss it softly and rubbing her knuckles as she took it in both hands, laying her head on the bed.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Casey turned her head, her opposite hand stroking Olivia's hair. She swallowed hard, terrified of the pain she had felt before collapsing in court. If Olivia was holding her hand in such a vice-like grip, Casey figured the news wasn't good. "..Olivia?" she whispered, continuing to stroke her hair.

Olivia was aware of her the second she'd started stroking her hair, but what was she supposed to say? They'd both wanted this for so long and now...

"Liv, please?" she asked as her voice cracked. "I know you're awake."

Sighing, she turned her head toward her. "Hey."

"What happened? Why am I here?"

Olivia took a breath, rubbing Casey's knuckles. "You collapsed. After court. I came in from lunch and Elliot gave me the message."

Absentmindedly, the hand that had been running through Olivia's hair flew to her stomach. "..Liv...? Liv, please say I'm wrong, say I'm overreacting!"

"You're wrong. You're overreacting," she said in a dull, unenthusiastic tone. "There," she sat up, "do you feel any better?"

"..Well..."

The doctor walked in minutes later. "Ah, you're awake," he said, clearing his throat.

He knew from experience that this had to be the hardest part of his job. Telling a couple that their hopes and dreams of having a family were now gone. There was never an easy way to start this conversation either. "Miss Novak, when you arrived earlier you were unconscious."

"I'm aware of that doctor. Could you please tell me if my, our baby, is ok?"

Dr. Jones looked at Olivia before looking back at Casey. "I'm sorry Casey. You had what is called an ectopic pregnancy. Basically, the fertilized egg attached itself to the outside of the uterine wall."

"NO NO NO." Casey cried as she gripped Olivia's hand for dear life.

"I'm sorry. There was nothing we could have done to save the baby. You were lucky that it occurred when it did."

"Lucky?!" Casey cried out "How can you deem me losing our child lucky?"

"If not caught early enough ma'am, it can lead to internal hemorrhaging, which is a life-threatening complication."

Olivia got up and sat on the bed, holding her tight. "H-how common is this? Is Casey going to be okay, physically?" she asked as she cried into her shoulder. "Is there a chance for conceiving again after this?"

"Physically, yes, she will be fine and after a few months if you like you can try again for a child. An average of 20 pregnancies out of a 1000 result in an ectopic pregnancy. There are no certain determining factors on what causes ectopic pregnancies either."

She nodded. "Could you give us a little while alone, please?"

He nodded, walking from the room.

Olivia laid next to her, holding her close, her hands running up and down her back as she felt her tremble. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish...there was something I could do. What can I do?" she asked as her phone rang in her pocket, which she ignored, continuing to try to comfort her. "I'm sorry," she whispered again, into her hair.

"Why are you sorry? You're not the one who lost a child."

She shook her head. "Yes I have. We have. Unless you've been secretly dating someone behind my back and it's theirs. You haven't...have you?"

Casey's hand flew and made contact with Olivia's face before she even realized what she was doing."You have a lot of nerve to ask me that! How many times do I have to tell you it's you? It's always been you, and will always be you. But since you don't seem to believe that, get out."

Olivia shook her head. "It was rhetorical, sweetie," she said, rubbing her cheek. "I-I...I'm sorry, I really shouldn't have... It wasn't only you who lost that child was my point. I guess I thought, stupidly, it would lighten the mood if you... You know what? Forget it, okay? I believe you. I...it's not right of me to just leave. I can feel you're in pain and I want to do what I can to help."

"If you really want to do what you can to help then leave please." Casey cried as she turned away from Olivia "I want to be alone right now."

She nodded, kissing her cheek. "Just call me. I love you."

She walked out, calling Elliot back. "Yeah?"

"How's Casey?"

"Horrible."

"Lost it?"

"Ectopic and now she wants to be alone, so... yeah I know I shouldn't leave, but she was pretty insistent. Maybe I'll just sit out in the waiting room for a bit. I'll be in...when I can be." She closed the phone, taking a seat in the waiting room, not sure where to go next.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	2. Complications

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 2: Complications**

Casey stared out the window looking out at the New York skyline. Where had she gone wrong? What was it she did? She understood when the doctor explained that sometimes it just happens, but she couldn't help but feel as if she was to blame.

She replayed the last few weeks in her head since they found out they were pregnant. As mad and hurt as she was she couldn't help, but smile at the memory of when she told Olivia she was pregnant.

_Casey stared at the test before her. She couldn't believe what it said. Positive. After months of trying and being disappointed, she had a positive result. Actually she had four positive tests. She didn't believe the first one so she took another and another. She just kept on taking the tests until she was out of them. Each and every one of them showing positive. She glanced at the clock and noticed that Olivia should be home shortly. It took all she had not to call Olivia and let her know over the phone. She wanted, no needed, to see her face when she told her she was going to be a mother._

_Olivia had grinned widely, proudly even, as she picked her up, spinning her in the air before sitting her on the floor and kissing her again and again and again, saying how happy she was, not only for her, but for them._

Perhaps, during this trying time, she'd forgotten they were in it together?

* * *

Back at the precinct, Olivia walking into Cragen's office. "Captain?"

"What's wrong?" Cragen asked looking up and seeing the distraught look on her face "Is Casey ok?"

She shook her head, walking in and closing the door before taking a seat in front of his desk. "Ectopic pregnancy. We lost it. Casey's still in the hospital. I know how busy we get and that we can't really afford to be a man down, but I need some time off. I wouldn't ask unless I thought it was necessary."

"Consider it done. However long you need." Cragen said standing. "Effective immediately."

She nodded, placing her gun and badge on his desk. "Elliot's away?"

"Yeah, he just got a call from Warner. I'm teaming him with Fin while you're gone." Cragen said knowing that even though she was taking time off she would worry about him. "As for the badge and gun, keep them unless you're turning in your notice. I'm placing you under the Family Medical Leave Act."

"Family Med—How come I've never heard of that?" she said, replacing her gun and badge on her belt. "And what is it?"

"FMLA covers your job for up to one year. It can be used for immediate family or yourself. Now even though you and Casey aren't legally married you were planning on a second parent adoption of the baby, therefore, qualifying you for use of the FMLA."

"If it were still legal, we would be. Damn appeal."

"I know." Cragen whispered, hating the closed mind people who had destroyed his best detective's

dreams. Normally he stayed away from politics which is why, after 25 years with the department, he was only a captain and that was all he would ever make, but on this he was on the band wagon. "Give it time Liv. They are working on reversing the appeal."

She sighed. "I know, but who knows how long that will take?"

* * *

Dr. Jones paced back and forth waiting on Olivia to answer the phone. This was the second time he had tried to call. The first time it went straight to voicemail. Now it was finally ringing. Hopefully, he could catch her before anything else happened.

"Benson."

"Detective Benson, this is Dr. Jones. I need you to return to the hospital immediately."

Alarmed, she stood, running out. "What's wrong?" she asked, getting into her car. "I'm on my way."

"I will wait until you get here, but please hurry."

* * *

She hung up the phone, shoving it into her pocket and made it there in record time and scaled the steps three at a time until she spotted him. "Dr. Jones, what happened? Is Casey okay?"

"There has been a complication." Dr. Jones said grabbing Olivia by the shoulder's making sure he had her complete attention "Casey has started hemorrhaging again. We have to get her into the OR immediately. If you were another minute later, we would have taken her without giving you a chance to talk to her. You will have to walk with the gurney to see her though."

She nodded. "Where is she?"

"Follow me."

She nodded, walking briskly after him.

Casey looked up and smiled when she saw Olivia walking toward her. She had begged the doctor not to take her until she saw Olivia, despite the risks. There was no way she could go into surgery with telling Olivia how sorry she was and how much she loved her.

Biting her lip, Olivia walked up, taking her hand. "..Case...I-I'm sorry. I-I never should've said that or left you here alone," she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.

"It's ok, baby." Casey whispered as she reached up and wiped the tears from Olivia's cheeks "I love you."

"No," she said, her voice shaking, "it's not. I love you too. You're going to be fine. You have to be. I-I can't...I need you to be. You're everything. Please!"

Casey gave Olivia's hand one more squeeze before she heard the nurse say they had to go. "I love you," she mouthed one more time before the doors to the operating room closed.

"I love you too," she said, walking back to the waiting room, calling Cragen to explain what was going on.

* * *

The next time she heard her name, Elliot was striding toward her. "Liv!" he said, walking up. "Captain just told me what's going on," he said, sitting beside her and handing her a hot coffee. "Thought you might like this."

She took a sip, eyes glued on the doors. "Thanks."

He nodded, taking it from her.

It was an hour before exhaustion overtook her and she leaned against his side. "..Casey..."

He wrapped an arm around her. "She'll be fine. She's too stubborn to give up."

She smiled. "Thanks El," she whispered before falling into a light sleep.

About two hours later, Dr. Jones walked out, removing his cap and looked around the room. He smiled when he saw Detective Benson asleep against Detective Stabler. He knew, from past experience in working with them on rape cases, how close they were.

Elliot rubbed her arm gently. "Liv, doctor's here."

She sat up, rubbing her eyes. "H-how's Casey? What happened?"

"Relax Olivia, Casey is fine. She is in recovery now and you can see her in about an hour. The ectopic pregnancy caused a tear in her fallopian tubes that we missed. As she moved around, it tore even more causing a massive bleed. We were able to cauterize it and stop the bleed."

"Wait, then does that mean we can't try again?"

"You will be able to try again, but you will have to wait longer than anticipated. You're looking, at the very least, six months, but I would recommend longer, if you want to know the truth. But because of this complication, it may be harder for her to conceive."

She nodded. "At least...she'll be okay."

Casey slowly opened her eyes and looked around. It took her a minute to get her bearings and remember what had happened. That was when everything came flooding back. The excruciating pain she felt before passing out. Coming to and being told she lost the baby. Then the stabbing pain in her right side only to discover she needed emergency surgery.

Her hand flew to her stomach. Were they able to repair the tear so that she could have children or was she going to let Olivia down again?

Olivia paced the hall. Elliot had left to inform the others. There was still about 15 minutes left before she was allowed into the room and it was killing her. She spotted a nurse coming from the room. "Excuse me? A-am I allowed in to see her yet or is she still unconscious?"

"Miss Novak came to about five minutes ago." The nurse said with a smile. "We are checking vitals and as soon as we are done we will take you back there to see her."

She smiled. "Thank you," she said, walking back over to grab her still-warm coffee, sitting for a moment. She was thrilled Casey was okay to say the least, but now, she had to wonder where they went from here.

Six months was a long time to wait. But they would. She knew, as much as Casey wanted—as much as they both wanted—a baby, Casey would want to try to ensure this would never happen again. She knew she couldn't even begin to imagine what had gone through her head when they'd been told what happened, but she was sure the physical response was only a fraction of what she'd actually felt.

"Ma'am can you answer a question for me?" Casey asked the nurse who was currently taking her blood pressure.

"I'll be happy to."

"Actually two questions. Is Olivia still in the waiting room?"

"Hasn't left since we rushed you in. Miss Novak."

"Do you know if I will be able to have children?"

"Actually, you have to wait on the doctor for that answer. I'm just a recovery nurse. I wasn't in the OR with you I only know what's written on your chart and there's nothing noted ma'am."

"Thank you." Casey said looking away, fearing the worst.

Olivia stood, seeing the nurse reappear and throwing away the empty cup. "May I?"

"Absolutely follow me." The nurse said as she scanned her badge at the door.

Olivia kept up with her, a thousand questions going through her mind. When they entered the room, she saw Casey's head turned away from her. Not wanting to startle her, Olivia walked up carefully. "Hey, Case," she whispered, pulling a chair over to sit by her and taking her hand, kissing it, "can you look at me, sweetie?"

"Why?" Casey asked as the tears poured down her cheeks. How could she turn and look at Olivia knowing she would see nothing but hate and disgust? It would only be a matter of time 'til she moved on and found someone who could give her what she wanted. In all honesty, Casey couldn't blame her one bit.

She sighed, scooting the chair closer and running her fingers through her hair. "Because I love you and I was so scared you wouldn't make it. I love you. No one else. I need you."

"Even if I can't give you a child?" Casey asked as she slowly turned her head to face Olivia. The love she saw in Olivia's eyes made her gasp for air.

Olivia moved and sat on the bed, leaning to gently wrap her arms around her. She bit her lip, nodding. "Yes, I swear, but you're going to be fine. The bleeding was stopped." She kissed her cheek, wiping her tears away. "I will never stop loving you, Casey Novak. I'm so glad you're okay."

"I love you too." Casey cried as she pulled Olivia to her and held on to her for dear life as she sobbed into her shoulder.

Olivia rubbed her back gently. "It's going to be okay. We'll have to wait much longer, but if you want to try again, we can, but...it may be harder to conceive. I love you so much! Please don't scare me like that again."

"Wait longer?" Casey asked pulling back and looking confused. "You mean I can still have children?"

She smiled, running a hand through her hair again. "Yes Casey, we can."

"But I thought when the nurse wouldn't answer my question that meant I couldn't."

"No, the doctor told me. Unless...you don't want to?"

"No baby, I do. I want to have a family with you. I want to have a house full of little Olivia's running around keeping me on my toes much like you do. I'm just not sure how many times I can go through this."

Olivia held her a bit tighter. "I know. We've tried for so long and now... But I promise to love you, no matter what. Sometimes, really bad things happen and even better things come from them. You just have to believe that and know, no matter what, I'll be here for you." She smiled. "Just think when it does work, we'll feel it move, hear its heartbeat, just like I can hear yours right now."

"I know. Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything, sweetie."

"Could you please find Dr. Jones and bring him in here? I would like to talk to him, alone if that's ok?"

She nodded, pulling back. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I would just like to talk to the doctor."

She leaned in, kissing her gently, before standing and leaving the room. She saw him coming out of another room. "Dr. Jones, Casey would like to talk to you."

Dr. Jones nodded and headed into the recovery room. "Miss. Novak, you wanted to see me?"

"I did. I have a few questions I would like to ask you. If I know Olivia, she may have already asked you, but I would like to hear the answers from you."

"Ok I'm willing to answer any question you have, but why not just ask Olivia?"

"Because she's so protective of me. Don't get me wrong. That is one of the things that I love about her and drew me to her, but there are times I just want honesty. Olivia will sugar-coat anything just to keep from hurting me."

"I understand. What are your questions?"

"Honestly, will I be able to have children again? If so, what are my chances of this reoccurring?"

"Yes, you will be able to carry children. We were able to stop the bleed by cauterizing the spot. Now it will be slightly harder to conceive now, but you will be able to. Although you have to wait, at the very least, six months, but I do recommend longer. As for this reoccurring there is a chance. But that goes with any complication. Your chance of a reoccurrence is no greater than that of anyone else who is pregnant."

"Thank you doctor."

"Anytime Miss. Novak."

Olivia saw him walk out a few minutes later. "Everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, detective. Please relax. Actually, both of you need to relax. Now go in there to your wife. We will be moving her in a few minutes to her room. She needs to stay here for about two days. After that, she can go home, but she needs to limit her time on her feet and moving around for about a week."

She blushed a bit, looking down a moment. "Okay. I'm sorry. It's just...uh, been an emotional day." She walked in, sitting on the bed, taking her hand again. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired and ready to sleep. I feel a little loopy too."

She smiled. "You just need to sleep. You'll feel better tomorrow. Can you do something for me? Can you please stop saying 'I' in reference to...what's happened or will happen? We're in this together. Forever. I'd just like to be included."

Casey smiled and nodded. "Will you hold me? Please."

Smiling, Olivia sat beside her, pulling her into her arms, rocking her gently in trying to get her to sleep. "I love you, my Casey." She'd never used the nickname aloud, but now it felt appropriate. "I'll never let you go through this much pain alone again."

Casey snuggled in closer to Olivia and feeling the comfort and safety of being in her arms she began to drift off to sleep.

Hearing footsteps, Olivia looked up, seeing Dr. Jones and a few nurses walk in, obviously, to wheel Casey back to her room. "Do I need to move?" she whispered.

"It would be easier if you could, but if she starts to wake up, just stay where you are. She needs as much rest as she can get."

Olivia started to get up, but Casey instantly held tighter, crying for her. She shrugged, fitting herself in the middle more as they wheeled them out. "Shh, it's okay, Casey," she said, stroking her hair, completely aware of the looks they were getting, but not caring as she snuggled her closer. "It's okay."

* * *

Casey awoke the next morning feeling Olivia's strong arms wrapped around her. She looked over her shoulder at the face she fell in love with years ago. She still remembered how much Olivia regretted and hated her when she first joined the squad.

It wasn't 'til about a month in when she found out why. She was still pining over the last ADA who she had fallen for and had a brief affair with.

As time went on they became closer and closer until that day Olivia showed up at her office. The look on her face was priceless when she asked her out. It was a mixture between nervousness and terror. But the smile that crossed her face when she said yes was worth a million bucks.

Olivia smiled in her sleep, rubbing her back gently as her eyes fluttered open. "Morning," she said softly, kissing her.

"Morning to you too," Casey whispered as she kissed her back "How are you feeling today?"

She sighed, stretching a bit. "I'm okay, but my back has felt better. Remind me to sleep on it tonight. And how are you?"

"I'm uh," Casey started to say looking away as tears started to form in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Hey," Olivia said, cupping her chin and bringing them face to face, "it's not your fault. Some things are beyond our control. It doesn't mean we expect them." She kissed her gently, wiping her tears. "I still love you."

"Yeah, but I know how bad you…I mean we wanted this child. What if I can never carry, what then?"

Olivia wrapped her arms around her again. "How about we cross that bridge if we get there? And there's adoption. Toddlers, even little babies, okay? Let's just keep believing, okay? It'll happen," she kissed her head. "Some way it'll happen."

"I know how bad you want a child of your own honey. To have one that carries our genes."

"True, but as long as it's ours...I'll love it just as much."

"But I can't help but feel like I'm letting you down if I can't give you a child. How do I stop that feeling?"

Olivia sighed, stroking her hair. "By knowing that whether or not it happens, won't affect how much I love you. I will always you. This is something we both want, but if it doesn't happen the way we want it to, I don't want it tearing us apart. I...want to be with you, not because we work together, because I can't stand to be without you. It hurts too much."

Casey sighed and leaned back against Olivia. She knew in her heart that Olivia was telling the truth. Olivia loved her and would be with her whether she could produce a child or not but it still didn't help the nagging feeling she had. Not able to give the love of her life a child made her feel like less of a woman.

"Oh good you're awake." The nurse said as she entered. "I need to check your vitals and we need to do an ultra sound to make sure everything is ok."

"Ultra sound?" Olivia asked. "Why?"

"It's a precaution. She will have one done today and one done again tomorrow morning. We want to make sure there is no more bleeding or tears in the fallopian tubes. There's nothing to worry about, I promise you."

She nodded. "Okay, is it it all right if I stay in the room?" she asked, sitting up and moving back to the chair.

"I have no problem with it, but it is Miss Novak's decision."

"I need her to stay." Casey whispered scared that they may find something else wrong.

Olivia scooted the chair closer and took her hand, kissing it. "I'm right here. Promise."

Casey shivered when the nurse placed the gel on her stomach and began the ultrasound.

"I'm sorry it's cold." The nurse said never taking her eyes off the machine.

Casey sat there glued to the screen with tears rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't help but think that in two weeks she was supposed to be at the doctor's having an ultrasound done. Waiting in the room with Olivia holding her hand as she is now waiting to hear the heartbeat of their child. Now it would be closer to a year, if ever, before they ever had that joy.

"Well, it looks like everything is good." The nurse said with a smile as she wiped off the excess gel from Casey's stomach "As long as the one tomorrow looks good there's no reason why you can't go home."

Olivia thanked her, sitting back on the bed and hugging her, remembering the appointment that she would now have to cancel. "I know," she whispered, running a hand through her hair. "I've got you."

Casey just nodded and leaned against Olivia absorbing her warmth and love. Within seconds, she began to drift off.

Olivia pulled the blankets back, getting in herself and lying on her back with Casey against her. "I love you," she whispered against her ear, gently kissing it.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14 & ladybugsmomma

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	3. Visitors

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 3: Visitors**

It felt like early morning when the nurse shook Olivia's shoulder. "You two have visitors."

She nodded, gently kissing Casey's head. "Someone's here to see us."

Cragen walked into the room and smiled at the sight before him. Casey was curled into Olivia's side and was holding on for dear life. She smiled when Olivia kissed her head and there was no mistaking the slight sigh that escaped her lips. He was so thankful that they found each other, especially Olivia, since she struggled so much when Alex was whisked away into Witness Protection Program.

"How are you guys doing?" Cragen asked placing the vase with flowers on the little rolling table.

She looked at Casey. "All things considered, we're...okay at the moment. You guys?"

"We are good. Don't worry about us, Liv. Focus on your family right now."

Elliot sighed, taking the chair she used to sit in. "Okay, but Fin's a pain in the ass. Wish you were there."

She smiled. "I'm there if you need a consult."

Fin chimed in, "Nah, he doesn't need a consult. What he needs is being used to testosterone in the field."

"Hey now," Casey said chiming in, "I can remember times, Liv here saving your asses and being more of a man than any of you here."

Elliot chuckled. "Good to hear from you."

Olivia smiled as Casey readjusted herself against her. "But, you know, she's probably right. I didn't see you going undercover as a prison imamate and nearly become his..." she sighed, trying to shake off the memory. "Never mind. Point is, I've got more guts than you Stabler."

"I'm just stating a fact here, Stabler," Casey said laughing for the first time since yesterday.

Olivia, for the first time in a long time, remembered how much she'd hated that case. The uniform, the basement, but most of all, the twisted grin he'd had. She'd never told Casey, because, until now, it hadn't surfaced so easily. Sighing, she got out of bed. "..I need to...do something..." she said, leaving the room, trying not to let it get at her.

Casey looked from Elliot to the door silently telling him to go after her. Even though she never spoke of the case she knew how deeply it affected Olivia. She was the one who heard the nightmares and held Olivia through it. She was the one that was almost struck when she tried to wake Olivia up in the middle of one.

He nodded, standing and following her, seeing she was at one end of the hall. "Liv."

She turned. "Yeah? Come to gloat?"

He shook his head. "You know I would never do that. You never told her, did you?"

She shook her head. "It's not something I like to remember, not that she hasn't managed to coax me out of a few nightmares."

He nodded. "She needs you now. Tell her or don't, but why you're here concerns both of you and has nothing to do with that."

She nodded, sighing. "I know. Well, guess we should get back."

"Might be safest," he agreed as they reentered the room.

"No no." Casey said laughing "I'd say the best undercover assignment Liv was on was when she dressed like a hooker. Remember that Capt.? She walked up to you like she was soliciting you. To hear her say 'What can I do for you sweetheart?'. It took all I had not to die laughing on the spot."

Olivia placed her hands on her hips. "Nice to know you were laughing at that!" she said.

"Oh come on, honey," Casey said patting the side of the bed missing the feel of her body against hers "Even you have to admit it was funny to hear you solicit a male for something."

She sighed, ignoring the accusation and sliding in next to her. With a raised brow she added, "Yeah, too bad it wasn't you I was soliciting," she whispered.

"As I can recall," Casey whispered in Olivia's ear, 'that was the next night that you solicited me."

"Oh really? I don't remember that," she whispered with a smile. "Something to discuss later. How are you feeling? I haven't asked you that yet."

"Physically I am better, but I think you know the answer to the rest of the question."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her again. She looked to Cragen. "Nothing too out of the ordinary for cases?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about." Cragen said.

She smiled. "Good, I hope the boys are playing nice without me."

"Honey, the guys don't play nice with you there. What makes you think they are going to play nice when you're gone?"

She sighed. "Good point, but I can dream, can't I?" For some reason, Casey looked a bit paler. "Casey, are you feeling okay? You look paler."

"Yeah, I just feel really tired and weak."

Olivia placed a hand to her forehead. "Suddenly?" she asked, feeling she was warm. "Elliot, grab a wandering nurse."

"What seems to be wrong?" The nurse asked staring from officer to officer

"She seems to have a bit of a fever. Of course I'm no expert," Olivia said.

"If I can have everyone leave the room so I can examine Miss Novak?"

Olivia kissed her cheek. "I'll be right outside," she said, walking out after them.

The nurse took all of Casey's vitals and did notice that her temp was a little high.

"Have you been feeling any pain?"

"No, I've been fine I just suddenly felt a little tired and weak."

"I will call the doctor and let him know. We already have you on antibiotics as a precaution. More than likely, I think, you may have over done it with the visitation. It may have been a minor surgery, but you still need time to rest and re coup. I'm going to let them know that you are fine, but you need your rest they can come back tomorrow to visit."

"Ok. Please tell Olivia if she wants to visit with the guys more, that is fine."

Olivia stood outside the room pacing. She knew she was probably fine, but it still worried her. She looked up as the nurse walked out.

"Miss Novak is fine. I believe that she may have over done it with the visitation. I'm sorry, but everyone needs to leave, so she can get her rest. You are more than welcomed to come and visit her tomorrow. Olivia, I was told to tell you if you want to visit more with the guys that is fine."

She nodded. "Thank you. Wait, do all of us have to leave or just them?"

"Truthfully, I would prefer if everyone left, but I'm not sure who would chew me more you or her. So to save myself you can stay. Besides, she seems to rest better when you're in the room with her."

She nodded, smiling, but trying not to look cocky. "Yeah, I tend to have that effect on her."

"You kicking us out?" Munch asked.

She smiled. "Afraid so, well, not so much as want to as have to, but..."

Elliot held up a hand. "Don't worry, but if something does come up-"

"-yeah, I know your number."

"I just ask that she gets as much rest as possible if you stay here with her Miss Benson." The nurse said walking away.

She nodded. "Bye guys," she said, walking back into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. "We should probably get some sleep," she said as she slid in beside her, "what do you think?"

"You didn't want to hang with the guys some more?" Casey asked with a sleepy voice as she laid her head on Olivia's chest hearing her heart beat.

"No," she said, wrapping her arms around her, "I'd rather be here. You know the doctor assumed we're married, right?"

"Mmmh, did he now?"

"Yes, and I saw no sense in correcting him. We've been together for two years, have known each other even longer. But I promised I would let you sleep if I stayed so..."

"So you didn't want to correct him?"

"Why should I? I'd rather have him think we're married and trying for a baby than just living together. Doesn't that make more sense?"

"So it has nothing to do with wanting to marry me then?" Casey said making sure Olivia couldn't see her face and trying to sound as hurtful as possible "It only has to do with him thinking we're shacking up?"

"No, I would to marry you Casey. You know how people are just as well as I do. Hell, I've seen people killed over it. Like I told Cragen when I asked for time off, if it was still legal in New York, we would be. But it would also hurt our departments. How many homophobic people would be even interested in coming to the police for help if they knew? We'd never spread it around, but rumors spread. Am I wrong?"

"Baby, I'm messing with you," Casey said raising her head so she could see Olivia. "I know you would get Donnelly down here right now if it was legal still. As for the homophobic people they're everywhere, but they would still come to the police but would ask for a different officer to work the case. How many times have you had to work a case alone because the women no longer trust men? It's the same thing, Baby."

"Well, it does make sense. Most women and men are abused by men. I wish we really could... Would you want to?"

"I know I do to. Give it time. They will change the law again and when they do we will be there."

Olivia smiled, holding her close. "Practice makes perfect, but we really should sleep, before the nurse kicks me out."

"Mm hmm," Casey mumbled as she laid her head feeling Olivia pull her tight against her she drifted off into a deep sleep.

Olivia smiled. "Good night Casey."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: tummer22

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	4. Pain

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 4: Pain**

Olivia sighed, having just gotten home. She hadn't worked a case in three months, but didn't mind because, truthfully, Casey had needed her more. Finally, after seeing how antsy Olivia had gotten from not working, Casey had insisted she work on the current case, which had been plastered all over the media.

"Case, I'm home," she called through the house.

"I'm in here," Casey called out from what was supposed to be the nursery

Olivia walked to the door frame seeing her sitting in the rocking chair, her hand on the edge of the crib. Casey had been depressed much more often, not that Olivia ever expected her not to be from the horrible loss they'd suffered.

She didn't talk to Olivia much anymore and that worried her. Deep depression turned people into lifeless shells and she hated to think that was what Casey was becoming. Slowly, she walked over, sitting on her knees in front of her, resting her head in her lap. "I missed you today," she whispered, kissing her bare knees.

"We would be finding out today what the sex was," Casey said as her eyes stared at the crib. "You know I was hoping for a boy, even though I would love having a girl around though. I just thought it would be great having a little mini you in a male version. Hell, if he was half the Ladies Man as you are, then no woman stood a chance with him. I imagine him sometimes."

Olivia looked up at her, running a hand along her cheek. "Sweetie, we will, I promise. Beautiful, smart, loving, just like you. Casey...I need you to talk to me. I don't care how many times I hear it. I want to know exactly what's bothering you. Y-you're becoming this-this shell that I don't know if I can break. I want you to be able to tell me anything...tell me everything. I love you. It's unbearable, what's happened, but we're in this together. I'm staying, no matter what."

"For pity no doubt," Casey snarled as she stood up pushing Olivia away "Poor Casey couldn't carry a child! How would it look if I leave her now? I don't want or need your pity, Olivia Benson. You're under no obligations here, just leave."

Olivia shook her head. "No, it's not pity. If I didn't care, then why did I stay when you were in the hospital? Why have I been home with you for three months straight, convincing you I love you above all others? I've put you above everything, my friends, my job. It's because I love you Casey. It's not, and it's never been, pity. I want you with me. I want you to cry, scream, yell. Hell, hit me, I don't care! Show some emotion!"

"Emotions? You want emotions!" She screamed as she threw the stuffed animal she was holding at Olivia."Fine, I'll give you emotions! It's not fair. It's not fucking fair! Every day we see people who abuse their children, toss them aside like trash. People who don't deserve to be parents. Then we try to have a child. Two people who could and would love the child unconditionally. Do whatever it took to give the child the world and we lose it. How the hell is that fair? Can you answer me that? No and while you're at it, don't pretend you understand how I feel. You didn't have a life living in you. I did. ME NOT YOU!"

Olivia stood, wrapping her arms around her. "You're right. It's not fair. We see people everyday who don't deserve to be parents. We tried and it didn't work...this time. All right, maybe I don't understand, it's true, but I want you to help me understand it. I love you. I loved that the child was ours. From the moment you told me, somehow, when I placed my hand on your stomach...Casey I could feel it. Its love and the love we had for it. We lost it. What happens to you happens to me, to us. Why do you think I was crying when you were wheeled away for surgery? I knew what had happened, what it meant, but there's always hope. If you didn't make it there was none, not for me."

"Please get your hands off me." Casey said pulling free of Olivia. "I'm tired you constantly holding me whispering everything will be ok. How much you love me and as long as I'm here with you that's all that matters. Do me a favor, hell do the both of us a favor, stop lying. That's not all that matters. You wanted a child and I couldn't deliver. You know, deep down, you blame me just as I blame myself. So stop forcing yourself to hold me."

She pulled away. "I...I-m sorry. I don't blame you. How could I? It's not something you can control. I...I just wanted to help you, but, obviously, right now, it's just making things worse. What do you want from me? I'm...going to get a little sleep. If you need me, you know where I am." She walked away.

Casey sighed as she ran her hands through her hair. Watching Olivia walk away defeated tore at what was left of her heart. She knew without a doubt that Olivia felt the pain of losing their child just as much as she did. She also knew that how she was treating Olivia wasn't helping matters much either. The only thing she was certain of was she wanted everyone to hurt and feel the pain that she felt.

Sighing, Olivia walked into the bedroom and set her badge and gun on the dresser. She supposed she should expect this reaction from her. Maybe she had been smothering her a bit, but she hadn't meant to, by any means. Casey had just been so depressed she figured she wanted Olivia's reassurance.

* * *

It was almost two hours later when Casey silently walked into their room. Without making a sound, Casey slid into bed next to Olivia trying her best not to wake her. She knew she hadn't been sleeping and really needed the sleep. She just wanted to feel Olivia's body next to her, close to her

Olivia sighed, Casey's name escaping her lips. She knew she was there, but didn't know if she would be rejected. She turned away from her. Finally, the pain that she'd hidden was trying to get at her. Everything that had happened, everything that could've happened. Without knowing, she'd begun to whimper Casey's name. Saying how sorry she was that she was going through this pain alone as she cried.

Casey broke down hearing Olivia cry and whimper her name. Olivia was the strong one out of the two. She was the one who faced death on a regular basis and never once blinked. Now here she was crying and it was her fault, every bit of it. She would give anything, including her life, to never hear Olivia cry.

"..Casey, please... Don't...go. I'll do anything," she sobbed in her sleep. "..I love you... Anything...you want..."

"I'm sorry," Casey whispered as she rolled over and wrapped her arms around Olivia. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Olivia stiffed a bit, before turning in her arms. "..Please," she said, resting her head in her neck, "don't...leave me! You're...everything. Nothing's right...without you."

"Believe me when I say I feel the same way." Casey whispered as she cried with Olivia since the first time losing their child.

Olivia consciously wrapped her arms around her. "..I'm not...going...anywhere."

"I need your help," Casey whispered holding onto Olivia for dear life.

Olivia nodded, rubbing her back and holding tighter. "How?"

"I don't know."

Olivia opened her eyes, pulled back and kissed Casey's cheek over and over as one hand ran through her hair. "I'll do anything. I want you to listen, okay? I will never, ever blame you for this. It...was a horrible tragedy that involved us both. It seems...stupid to blame anyone for it. You're everything and I'll be with you no matter what. I know I've said it a thousand times now, but what else can I do that I haven't been doing?"

"Honestly, I don't know. You've been there for me in ways I didn't think anyone ever could be. Just know I don't mean what I say sometimes. I just hurt so badly and nothing can stop the pain."

Olivia bit her lip. "What I'm about to say isn't...exactly calming. But it's supposed to hurt. If it didn't hurt, you wouldn't be the woman I fell in love with. You're supposed to grieve, sweetie," she caressed her cheek. "It's perfectly okay. I'm right here, right where I want to be because I love you."

Casey nodded as a fresh cascade of tears fell from her eyes. She buried her head into Olivia's neck and tighten her grip around Olivia. For the first time since she lost the baby she allowed herself to grieve with Olivia.

Olivia's hands went under her shirt to rub her bare back as tears fell from her eyes faster than ever. "I love you, Casey Benson. Don't you forget that."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: tummer22, Bkwrmchar, ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	5. Decisions

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 5: Decisions**

_Two months later... _

Olivia was waiting in Casey's office for her to come back from a competency hearing. After that fateful, healing, night, they had both agreed it was okay to be upset, but it was better to try to get some things back to normal.

Casey didn't have the bite she used to, but she made up for that with lengthy research.

Olivia, sometimes, was very subdued, but managed to snap back whenever a victim needed her.

They made it their normal anymore. What happened wasn't just going to go away, but they knew they had each other and, for that, they were eternally grateful. The present case was tough, so Olivia figured they could both use a night out to dinner, which she had yet to surprise her with. Hopefully, she'd be up for it.

"Hey honey, what are you doing here?" Casey asked as she entered her office tossing her jacket on the chair.

Olivia smiled, walking over and kissing her cheek. "Are you done for the day?"

"Mmmh," Casey purred leaning into the kiss. "Are you?"

"Mhm. How about dinner?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around her waist. "Just me and the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm."

"Really? You can leave your mistress long enough for dinner with me?" Casey asked with laughter in her voice.

She raised a brow. "Mistress? No. It doesn't sleep with me. Only one woman does that. And she's the one I love most of all," she purred against her neck. "Unless a major case comes up, I'm all yours, Benson," she whispered by her ear. "Oh, you don't mind that, do you? Taking my name informally in private?"

"Honey, let's face it, the job is with you all the time. Or maybe I should say you're always on the job. Either way, I don't mind I just love to tease you about it. As for taking your name? It would be my honor to be called Casey Novak-Benson on a regular basis."

She sighed, nodding. "Yes, but...you, you're more important. It's just how my life is, always has been." She kissed her cheek again. "I wish I could call you that. Really do... Now, about dinner?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I had to work right through lunch."

"What would you like? I'm thinking a nice, quiet place in a corner," she kissed her again, next to her ear, "my hand on your thigh..."

"Keep talking like that, detective and we will skip dinner and go straight to desert."

She smiled, pulling away and extending her hand. "You pick the place. Dessert can be later, or now, if you want..."

"That is a hard decision. I'm starving for food, but my appetite for you is never quenched."

"It's up to you."

"I say dinner. I want to talk to you about something," Casey said grabbing her jacket from the chair.

She nodded. "Okay, lead the way, Benson."

* * *

Casey smiled at Olivia from across the booth. She had taken her to the restaurant where she first told her she loved her. The restaurant she took her too when she told her she wanted to have a child with her. The restaurant where she took her the night the test came back positive.

Olivia put her hand on the table, grasping hers, smiling. "What did you want to talk about?"

"It's been almost six months since we lost the baby."

"Almost, but not quite," she said, caressing her hand. "Do you want to try again? Even with the risks?"

"I was thinking about it. I want to give you the family you want and deserve."

"I want it, yes. Deserve? With my life and job...that's questionable. What I want - who I want - is you. Always."

"I know honey. There's no doubt in my mind there. But there's nothing I want more than to have a child. I was thinking after the first of the year to try again. That will be more than six months. Would you be ok with that?"

She pulled a three second fake pout before responding, "You wouldn't like to legalize us more?" She waved it off with a smile. "Yes, that's perfect with me. Just hope and pray that it's...well, you know..."

"If it doesn't happen, we can look into adoption and if it does you will be the best mother anyone has ever seen. If, God forbid, we lose another child, I will stop. I promise you."

"Casey, we wouldn't have to st—" The scenario ran through her mind of the past months. Once had been hard enough, but twice? Twice might very well cause Casey to lose faith forever in her body's natural processes. She squeezed her hand. "Okay, but I would really rather it was you, makes it more special. But there are plenty of babies who need that love too. A-are you sure you'd be up to handling adoption if..."

"As long as we can find one that has those brown eyes I fell in love with the day I barged into that house you were searching." Casey said with tender love in her voice "I know you're worried about what will happen to me if I miscarry again. I don't know, honestly, because I barely survived the first one. What I do know is I want to carry a child. _Our child_. I want to see the look on your face when I give birth and you hold him or her for the first time. How wrapped you will be that second. Don't say that you won't be because we both know you will be."

She smiled. "So will you. Beautiful as ever and I'll love you even more."

"Not as much as you Miss Bad Ass Benson."

"Ah, a bad ass am I? I might have to teach you a little lesson about being one."

"Oh yeah?" Casey said dropping her head and batting her eyes which she knew was a guarantee to get what she wanted. "So, are you ok with trying again?"

"Absolutely, Benson."

"I love you Olivia," Casey whispered as she leaned over the table to kiss the love of her life

Olivia moaned lightly into the kiss, her hand going to the back of her head. "I love you," she whispered into her lips. "I can't stand to be without you," she moaned, her hand gliding across and down Casey's cheek.

"Take me home. I'm ready for desert." Casey whispered as she pulled away from Olivia knowing if she didn't put some space between them there would be a show for others to watch.

Olivia stood, donning her jacket and helping Casey into hers. "Homeward bound then, beautiful."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: CaseyBensonNovak, tummer22,, ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	6. Love they Share

**WARNING: This chapter contains Adult Content.**

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 6: Love they Share**

Casey moaned as Olivia pushed her against the door and latched on to her pulse point. She gripped Olivia's shoulders when she felt her knees give out. She had never been with anyone who was able to turn her on with a look. That was until she met Olivia. "Olivia….bedroom." Casey moaned out.

Wrapping one arm around Casey and pulling her to her, she unlocked the door, twisted the knob and pushed it open. Carefully, she walked Casey backwards and backed her against the wall beside the door, breaking contact just briefly enough to close the door and latch it. Her hands trailed Casey's ribs as she guided her back to the bedroom. "C-Casey..."

Casey hummed as she began to unbutton Olivia's shirt, amazed at the six-pack she had maintained throughout the years, smiling when she felt the muscles quiver as she ran her hand over them.

Olivia smiled, releasing Casey to shed her shirt to the floor as she backed her up against the edge of the bed. "You know, I've wondered something about you. Does Novak have grace and dignity," she ended it with a kiss to her collarbone, "or does she go commando under her skirts?" she asked with a devious smile, popping the buttons on Casey's blouse and moaning as Casey's delicate fingers trailed her well-kept six-pack.

"You're a detective. Why don't you put that training to use and find out?"

She smirked, pulling the open blouse from her shoulders and throwing it to the floor. Straddling her legs, she pressed up against her, kissing her pulse point, her hand going on the opposite side and her other rubbed her back, fingers sliding under the elastic of her bra ever so slightly before unlatching it, pulling back and kissing the way down as she slid the straps from her shoulders. "You smell really good," she whispered, knowing the fact the more her abs were pressed into her, the more unpredictable she became.

Casey groaned feeling Olivia's abs against her. Knowing the strength she had in her abs and what that strength can do to her sent a new flood of wetness to her core. Needing Olivia more at that moment than ever before, she ran her nails up her back causing Olivia to hiss and arch into her touch.

She looked into Casey's eyes, lying her back on the bed, sliding the skirt off of her with her hands then when it got to her knees, she swiftly raised herself above her, discarding it, seeing she was, indeed, without anything. Slowly, she lowered herself back down, down a little further so the bottom of her sculpted abs pressed against her ever-growing wetness from her core. Kissing her stomach, she looked into her eyes, her hands kneading her chest as she slid up her body to suck on her breasts. "Casey..." she moaned into her skin.

Casey arched into Olivia silently begging her to take more. Take what she wanted. She trusted Olivia beyond belief and knew she would never hurt her. "Take what you want my love," she gasped out.

Olivia nodded, kissing her passionately, getting to her knees and wrapping her arms around her back as she pulled her further up on the bed. She pressed a finger to Casey's lips to stop her whimper of protest as she stood and peeled off her pants and boxers and laid beside her, pulling her to her. She smiled, kissing her passionately as her fingers made an invisible line down her body, brushing her clit as she thrust two - then three - fingers into her core. "Casey..."

"Oh god!" Casey screamed out feeling Olivia fill her.

Olivia's lips found Casey's pulse point again as her fingers began to thrust and twist inside, feeling Casey squirm beside her. She kissed up and down the side of her neck, pulling her closer. "Casey, please! I've got you," she husked out as her fingers increased in speed. "For me? I love you so much!" she panted by her ear. "Come on," she moved so her abs were touching her, wondering how much she could truly take.

Casey screamed as her climax hit her. She had never felt one as strong as she did then. Her body lifted off the bed and froze in mid air.

Olivia managed to support her with one arm under her back until her walls stopped pulsing. When they did, she sat up and pulled her close. "Casey," she said stroking her cheek and brushing the hair from her eyes. "Sweetie, are you okay?"

Casey felt as if her whole body was floating through air. She had never had an orgasm that strong or intense before. The only thing that was keeping her from passing out was the sound of Olivia's voice. She could hear the concern and worry in it. She knew Olivia was worried that she had gotten to rough and inadvertently hurt her. Something she always worried about anytime she got what she believed was remotely rough. "I love you," she finally whispered when she found her voice.

Olivia pulled her closer into her lap. "I love you too. Please say I didn't go too hard."

"You were perfect like always," Casey whispered as she snuggled against Olivia, her muscles feeling like Jell-O.

Olivia smiled, lifting her up as she got to her knees and climbing under the covers. In truth, seeing Casey lose it had almost gotten her, but Casey was exhausted, ready to pass out, so she knew she shouldn't ask. She laid her in bed and covered her up before slipping in beside her. Now, more than ever, she had a strong urge to do it herself, but she loved Casey and wanted her, so if she had to wait, she would. "Good," she said with a smile, "you could probably use a nice, long rest." She kissed her cheek, turning away from her and snuggling under the covers.

* * *

Casey awoke a few hours later realizing that she fell asleep before she could return the favor to Olivia. That thought within itself upset her. She knew that Olivia had to be aching for some type of release and knowing her she denied herself some self gratification. Always afraid she would hurt or insult her by doing so. "Hey baby,' Casey whispered in Olivia's ear as she trailed her hand up and down her arms.

"Mmm?" she looked over her shoulder. "Oh hi, sweetie. Are you okay?" she asked, rolling onto her back.

"I'm perfect," Casey whispered against toned, olive skin before flicking her tongue across Olivia's nipples "What about you? Are you ok?"

"Ah, C-Caseyyyyyy!" she moaned. Her breath hitched in her throat, hands raking through her hair. "Mmmm."

"I'll take that as a yes," Casey whispered as she moved on to her other nipple giving it the same attention she just gave the other one. "You didn't get any relief did you?"

Olivia shook her head. "Mmmm mmm. Y-y-YOU! W-were ex-exhausted."

"You could have taken matters into your own hands so to speak." Casey whispered as she made her way down Olivia's body to what she liked to refer to as her own piece of heaven. Licking and sucking as she did so.

"N-no, wa-wanted you," she gasped as she recognized the trail she was taking. "God, it hurts! Please Casey!" she whined.

"You will always have me,' Casey husked out before sliding her tongue between Olivia's soaked folds. The taste of Olivia always sent her head spinning and if she was honest would send her close to tumbling over the edge herself. She moaned when she felt Olivia's hand tangle in her hair and push her tighter against her. Hearing her pleas for more. Begging for the release she denied herself earlier. Casey could feel the quivering in her legs and knew it would be seconds before she would fall. Seconds before she would feel Olivia grind her hips into her face chanting her name over and over again. Seconds before that sweet nectar that she loved coated her face and chin. Seconds before she herself would fall over the edge without ever being touched. Having Olivia show how much trust and love she had in her when she would let her go would always have that affect on her.

Olivia tried to hold on, but she just couldn't. Her hips ground into her, her hand on the back of Casey's head, feeling her lap at her soaked core. "CASEY!" she screamed, feeling all of her resolve come rushing from her in a gush into her mouth. Still being there though, caused another to overtake her. "Oh God!" she screamed, feeling herself tremble. "F-fuck...oh, my god, Casey," she called as her body lifted from the bed and began to come off of the exquisite high, realizing it was the first time they'd made love since...since they lost their baby. That was why it was so powerful, topped with her love for the younger woman.

Casey pulled back slowly and kissed each side of Olivia's inner thighs, resting her head against them as she looked up at her. Her emerald green eyes overflowing with the love she had for her.

What she had done to deserve such a wonderful woman was beyond her, but she thanked her lucky stars daily for having Olivia in her life. "You ok?" she whispered as she pulled herself up Olivia's body knowing how sensitive it was and that it was liable to send her over the edge again. Especially when her knee made contact with her soaked center.

She nodded, steadying Casey as she bent her knee under her center. She smiled. "I love you, sweetie. Do you want more?" she asked with a whine in her voice as her leg continued to move.

Casey nodded as she began to ride Olivia's thigh. She knew the effect that her riding Olivia whether it was her thigh or one of their many toys did to her. She knew in seconds Olivia would again be over the edge or at least hoped she would be. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out and she definitely wanted to come with Olivia this time. She had to have that connection that they got when they came together.

Pushing the covers back, Olivia's fingers dove between her legs, thrusting in and out, keeping eye contact with her, feeling the wetness coat her thigh. "C-Casey..." she moaned. "Can't hold it," she bit her lip, close to tears. She wanted to wait for her.

Casey's eyes locked with hers as a silent scream ripped from her body, quickly reaching out for Olivia intertwining their fingers together as they became one.

Instinctively, her body lurched upward as she caught her before she was hurt. "Casey! I...I can't...God Casey!"

"You can. Let go for me," Casey whispered as she held onto Olivia tightly knowing when this orgasm hit it was going to be probably the strongest she had ever experienced.

She nodded, burying her head in her shoulder. "Fuck!" She screamed. "God! Casey!" She could feel it rippling through her whole body, making her turn to Jell-O, her muscles mushing, but still she held tightly to her, feeling it gushing like a river. She kissed her hard as she shook.

"It's ok baby. I love you." Casey whispered as she guided Olivia back to the bed before rolling slightly off her. She could feel the tightening of Olivia's arms. "I'm not going anywhere, baby, just trying to get comfortable. Just sleep baby. When you wake up I will still be here in your arms."

She smiled. "Y-you know what I realized a while ago, sweetie?"

"What is that?"

Olivia bit her lip in hesitation. It was a good thing, but to bring it up... She shook her head. "Actually, let's just get some sleep."

"Honey, you were going to say this was the first time we've made love since we lost the baby. I know it was honey. I realized it too and I'm sorry it's been so long since I've touched you or allowed you to touch me."

Olivia held her close. "No... Don't be sorry. We-we both just weren't ready. Physically, mentally or emotionally. Truthfully, I hadn't thought about it much. It just...it hurt too much. It makes sense. A-are you ok?"

"I'm fine baby. I would be even better if you would stop worrying so much though. I know you do it because you care for me and love me. I understand everything. Right now I want to be held by you. Let it be just us and not what we have gone through. Please."

Olivia nodded, kissing her passionately and covering them with the blankets. "Casey?"

"Mm hmm?" Casey mumbled as she started to fall asleep.

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life in this way?"

"You said yes."

"What?"

"You said yes when I asked you out. Now go to sleep."

She chuckled quietly, running her hands through her hair, enjoying the heat, love and intimate closeness as she drifted off to sleep. "Love you," she mumbled.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	7. Point of Exhaustion

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 7: Point of Exhaustion**

Casey grabbed a magazine and absentmindedly flipped through it. She was constantly looking from the magazine to the door waiting on Olivia to arrive. The appointment was in ten minutes and Olivia had promised to be there. She wouldn't blame her if she missed it because the new case they were working on had her tied up. In fact, so tied up to the point that she hadn't been able to make it home the last two days. When she tried to reach her earlier it had gone straight to voicemail. She just hoped she would get her messages in time.

Getting a spare moment in the precinct, Olivia checked her messages. "Damn," she cursed. "I need to go."

"Why?" Cragen asked. "We need you here."

She nodded. "I know, but Casey and I have a doctor's appointment in ten minutes. I promised her I wouldn't miss it."

"I need you to come right back Benson," Cragen said. "We have to break this fool tonight."

She nodded. "Understood." And she raced out and to the doctor's, out of breath when she walked in, leaning against the wall as she looked for Casey.

"Are you looking for Miss Novak ma'am?"

She nodded. "Yes I am. She's still here, isn't she?"

"Yes ma'am, if you will follow me we just took her back," the nurse said as she opened the door and started heading down the hallway stopping in front of exam room 3. "You haven't missed anything if that's what you're worried about."

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm supposed to head right back after this appointment, but just as long as I haven't missed anything here," she said as she walked into the room. "Casey," she said as she walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Honey, didn't you check the messages I left you?" Casey asked happy to see Olivia.

Olivia walked over to sit beside her. "At the first available time I got. Which was...15 minutes ago. And, unfortunately, after this, I've been ordered back." She hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry I'm late and look...unpresentable for this, but I kind of had to rush."

"Honey, you didn't listen to all of them then, baby. The last one I left said don't worry about making this appointment. I know this case is rough and hard. If you want to, go back to the station. This is just an eval."

She shook her head. "Opps, sorry, but I'll still stay. I mean as long as I'm here. I didn't want to break this promise."

"I know honey," Casey whispered, motioning for Olivia to come closer. "That's why I love you so much."

Olivia scooted closer, wrapping her arms around her more securely. "You know, the risks will be greater this time around, right?" she whispered, laying her head on Casey's shoulder. "Which is another good reason for me to be here."

"I know baby. I want to try this one last time. If it doesn't happen or we lose it again, then our next appointment will be with an adoption lawyer. Is it a deal?"

"..Or we could try one last time. Third time's the charm, but, if that's what you want to do, okay," she kissed her gently on the lips, fingers stroking her cheek. "I love you."

"Miss Novak, Miss Benson, sorry for the wait. We are running slightly behind today." The doctor said walking into the room. "It says here in your chart that you suffered an ectopic pregnancy almost a year ago. You had some complications with it as well. You hemorrhaged and they had to cauterize the bleed."

Olivia nodded. "Yes, that's right," she said, holding a bit tighter. "But we want to try again."

"I see no reason why you can't. It has been long enough. We will need to perform an exam and an ultrasound. The results of those along with the blood work we need to do will determine if we can try again now."

Olivia nodded. "Where do you want me?"

"You're fine where you're at. I am going to have the nurse come in and draw blood first. From there we will do an ultrasound and then the pelvic exam. It will be about a week though before we can let you know what your chances are of trying again."

Olivia nodded, looking to Casey. "Sounds good to me."

A nurse came in and quickly drew several vials of Casey's blood. Once she was done with that, she performed the ultrasound which showed she had healed nicely and so far everything went well.

The doctor, after conducting the pelvic exam, again confirmed what the nurse had discovered doing the ultrasound. Casey had healed nicely with no apparent long-term damage.

The only thing they were waiting on was the test results. "The blood work will go out today and it should be back in three to four days. Once that returns, we will schedule a return visit and see where we go from there." The doctor said as he filled out the forms they needed to check out. "Do either of you ladies have any other questions?"

"Um, well, kind of. The doctor who treated Casey said that ectopic pregnancies were rare and a reoccurrence is as chanced as any other pregnant woman. He also said there were no determining factors. I understand that, but I guess is there anything we'd have to look out for?"

"Not really. I wish there was a way we could detect it ahead of time, but there's not. It's just going to be a waiting game that pulls at your nerves. That's the best I can tell you."

She nodded. "Okay, thank you." He nodded, leaving the room. "Are you due back at the office?"

"I actually have the rest of the day off. I wasn't sure which way the appointment was going to go. Do you think you will make it home for dinner?" Casey asked as she quickly redressed knowing that Olivia had to get back to the station.

Olivia hopped off the table, wrapping her arms around her from the back and kissing her neck. "I'll try to be. Cragen said we have to get to the bastard tonight, so I'm not sure, but if I don't," she kissed her neck again, "I'll try to let you know. I would love to be home tonight though."

"Be careful baby and hopefully you can come home tonight. If not, you want me to bring you and the guys some dinner and you a change of clothes for tomorrow?"

Olivia turned her around, holding her tight. "That would be wonderful and I promise I'll be careful. Why don't you...say call around 5:30? I'll take orders."

"Deal. Now go get the bastard because I would really like to fall asleep in your arms sometime soon."

Olivia smiled, pulling back and placing a hand on her stomach. "As you wish," she said, before kissing her and running out.

* * *

It was closer to six before Casey had a chance to call. She knew that since she had not received a call from Olivia that she was once again stuck for another night. She absolutely loved how well Olivia was at her job that was one of the things that had attracted her to her, but it was times like this that she hated Olivia's job. In truth, it was just her being selfish. Something that every wife of an officer of the NYPD felt at one time or another.

Smiling, Olivia answered. "And what can I do for the ADA this evening?"

"I would say come home, but the scum of New York has other plans on that. So since that isn't possible, what would the fine detectives, one in particular, like for dinner tonight?"

"Uh," she looked around, "hey guys, what do you want for dinner? Casey offered." The guys quoted various things from pizza to sushi, which she repeated before giving her order. "You know, I'd take some pasta from our favorite Italian restaurant, if you can get it. Will the prestigious ADA be dining with us?"

"If it means I can get five stolen minutes with my detective you better believe it. I will there in about an hour. Do the guys need anything else while I'm out?"

She grinned. "Do you really want me to ask that? You know what they're like."

Casey laughed knowing exactly what she was talking about. She remembered asking Fin one time if he needed anything when they were working long hours on another case. He smirked and started to open his mouth when Olivia popped him on the back of the head telling him to keep the thought to himself. "Tell them within reason."

"Is there anything else we need? Like coffee or creamer or sugar? Anything like that?"

Casey could here each guy muttering something on the other end of the line and the sigh she heard from Olivia told her what the responses was even though she was specific."Tell you what baby. I will bring a new container of coffee, creamer, and sugar and a case of cokes along with some snacks you can tell them to code four whatever their responses are at the moment. I will see you as soon as I can get there. I love you."

"I love you too," she said as she closed the phone and set it on her desk with a sigh. "Now where are we at?" she sighed. "So, we've got a serial rapist who targets young teens. The five attacks have all been in lower Manhattan. There's no connection between them-"

"-Besides their age," Elliot said, "his work is sloppy. Represents either a new offender-"

"-or just someone who enjoys reliving his teenage fantasies," Munch said.

"That's encasing many men," Olivia said, "and he only left his DNA in one of them. We know it was the same guy because all the girls picked him from a lineup, but, terrified, how reliable is that really?"

"Depends on the amount of stress they were under and how good of a defense attorney the suspect has," Casey said as she entered the bull pen her hands full of the various orders that were placed. "Not to mention, how long of a look did they get of their attacker?"

Olivia walked over, talking half of the items and placing them on her desk. "All five girls took their time identifying him. They wanted to be sure, no matter how terrified they were, but there's got to be a connection between them. I doubt this guy picked them at random. They were all from well-to-do families, only children, aged 13 to 15. Different hair and eye color and all went to different schools."

"Oh, they got a good look all right. He made sure of it," Elliot said.

"Then the line up should stand in court. What about DNA? Has he submitted?"

Olivia sighed. "Only left semen in one victim, but he grabbed the others so hard he left hand impressions. Though how he managed that without breaking bones is beyond me."

"Hand impressions on a body have been inadmissible in court. I can try for a warrant to get a sample of his DNA. If we can't get him for all five, we can definitely get him for the one."

She nodded, walking back and sitting at her desk, gesturing for Casey to join her. "One's better than none in this experience," she said, sorting through the food until she found hers. "So, anyway, how are you?" Olivia asked.

"I'm good," Casey said as she quickly joined Olivia at the table forever grateful for the few minutes they were getting together. She had learned very quickly when she started dating Olivia to never take anything for granted with her. In her line of work, tomorrow was never promised.

Olivia smiled, resting on hand over hers, her mind not at all on the case at the moment as she stabbed her pasta with her fork, her eyes going darker with a lustful desire, but bit into her food again and again before dropping her fork and biting her lip.

"What's wrong?" Casey asked, acutely aware of the change that suddenly came over Olivia.

She attempted to wave it off, yawning. "Nothing, just exhausted," she said, keeping hold of her hand and trying not to smile too widely. "..It sucks. I...miss you," she whispered.

"I miss you too," Casey whispered squeezing her hand tightly.

"So, anything you think we can do about that?" She didn't care who caught the words or who stared. Right now, Casey was the only person she could see. "Where did you park? I could take five minutes."

"In the employee parking lot. You placed your parking sticker on my car remember?"

Olivia stood. "I need some fresh air before I go stir crazy. Back in ten." She walked out, Casey following her.

Casey was eager to get to the car it may be only a few minutes but it would be a few minutes alone without the case hanging over their head. Hell, at this point she would have taken two minutes alone in the stairwell.

Finally reaching the car, the detective opened the back door, letting Casey slide in first before Olivia followed, losing the door. "It doesn't have to be like that, just please come here," she said, locking the door and sitting against it, opening her arms. "Come here, sweetie."

Casey quickly climbed into Olivia's arms and relaxed against her. For the first time in almost a week she was relaxed. She never realized how much she missed having Olivia's arms around her 'til cases like this came up. "God I've missed the feel of your arms holding me." Casey whispered fighting to keep the tears at bay.

Olivia nodded. "I know, I've missed you too, sweetheart. But it's okay. You're shaking, Case. It's okay to let go. I've got you. I promise," she whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I don't know what the future has for us, but I'd hope that no matter how many cases I have like this, you'll never forget how much I love you. I do, Casey, so much. You're my safe place from all this evil."

"I love you too baby," Casey whispered as she turned around and kissed her gently.

Olivia moaned into the kiss, kissing back with a bit more force, wiping the tears from Casey's eyes before hugging her tightly. "Shh, it's okay," she whispered into her lips.

Casey sighed and laid her head against Olivia's chest listening to her heartbeat. She knew this moment could only last another minute or two

Olivia sighed, rubbing her back. "I wonder. How the hell am I going to manage this job, you, and a baby? My hours are horrible. I'd...hate to lose you from it and the baby."

"It's simple baby. You will manage the best you can. There will be times I will have to be both parents because your job will pull you away. You miss some things, but you will be there for the most important things. You will give your all to your family as you do your job. Honey, believe me the only place we will ever be going is to the station to visit Momma. Nowhere else ever."

Olivia nodded, sniffling as a few tears fell down her cheeks. "Thank you. I want to be here for you as much as I can. I'll try. I guess I just worry that, someday, that won't be enough."

"Your love and dedication is more than enough. More than I will ever deserve. Now please relax about that and get your head in the game. As much as I hate for this time to end you need to head back. I can already imagine what the guys are saying, but most importantly, so you can be at home in our bed getting some much-deserved rest."

She nodded, bringing Casey up, kissing her passionately, before swinging her legs over, unlocking the door and walking back into the precinct.

Olivia worked another six hours before she managed to drag her weary body into their apartment, collapsing on the couch.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: CaseyBensonNovak, ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	8. Another Try

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 8: Another Try**

It had been two months since they had received the all clear to try again. Casey had started virility drugs immediately to increase their chance of conception, even though she knew the risks of a multiple birth. Her and Olivia had discussed it and were more than willing to take the chance at twins. With any luck, they could get their one boy and one girl in one shot.

Today would be their first attempt at conceiving and Casey was so nervous. "What if it doesn't take? What will we do then?" She asked Olivia looking for comfort.

Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around her, kissing her cheek. "We can try again. The treatment not taking is...different than losing it. Just try to relax, sweetie. I promise you it will be fine. And I'll be here just like always."

"I know honey. It's just I'm so scared and nervous. I'm so scared that no matter what we do this time it won't take."

Olivia pulled her back a bit, her fingers under her chin. "I'm scared too, but we're still going to try. It'll take. It has to. We need it to. We'll never know unless we try, okay?" she said, kissing her gently.

Casey just nodded as she relaxed against Olivia.

Olivia stroked cheek, then moved to rub her back. "I love you. You'll see, soon we'll have a little baby who looks just like you."

"I love you too," Casey whispered as the doctor entered the room.

"Ladies, are you ready to start the procedure?" He asked as he entered.

Olivia looked into her deep emeralds, pushing a few strands of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, I think we are," she said with a smile as she stood, moving to the side.

Casey relaxed the best she could considering the procedure that was being done. In truth she hated having to do this but there was nothing more she wanted than to start a family with Olivia. Considering the alternative, she would take this option any day of the week.

"Ok we're all done." The doctor said as he stepped back removing his gloves. "We're going to wait a few minutes before we release you. You ladies know the drill. Wait about a month maybe two to take a test, but even then that is unreliable because of the hormone shots you are taking. I would suggest scheduling an appointment with your regular doctor if you miss your period for two months in a row. If not, we will attempt again in thirty days."

Olivia nodded, taking a seat next to Casey. "Thank you," she said as she took Casey's hand and kissed it. "How do you feel about this? Good? Bad? Otherwise?"

"Now we get to play the waiting game and I hate the waiting game. I wish there was some rapid test they could do next week."

She nodded. "It'll be fine. Everyone who wants kids gets to play this waiting game. It would be nice if they could do that though. I believe it's going to be fine though."

"I know baby. I know."

* * *

Casey, the ever impatient one, took a test two weeks later and was highly upset when it came back never. She paced the floor for about an hour after taking the test when she finally gave in and called Olivia.

"Hey Case, what's up?" she asked as she read through files.

"How soon can you come home, baby?" Casey said crying into the phone. "I need you, please."

She looked at the clock."Why? What's the matter? Why are you crying?" she asked concerned, finishing up her paperwork and walking in to hand it to Cragen. "Did something happen?"

"I just need you to come home, please, I need you."

Olivia looked at the clock again that was in his office, seeing it was about 6:15. "All right. I'll be right there. It's going to be okay, all right. Lay down if you need to." She closed the phone, shoving it into her pocket. "Well, the case is done, so I'm assuming I'm free to go."

* * *

Olivia sighed, going home and throwing her jacket on the couch. "Casey? Where are you, sweetie?"

"In here," she called out from the bedroom.

She went in quickly, sitting beside her on the floor, "What's the matter?" she asked gently, caressing her cheek.

"I took a test and it came out negative. The procedure didn't work," Casey whispered as she flung herself into Olivia's lap.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "Sshh. Sweetie, he said two months, not two weeks. It could still work."

"I know, but I was really hoping it would be sooner not later. I'm not the most patient person in the world."

She chuckled quietly. "You're impatient? I was jumping the first time you asked me out, remember? Hell, I shouted 'yes' so loudly, Donnelly poked her head in asking what was going on," she said with a smile.

"Okay, well, maybe you do have me beat a little, but not by much. I was just really looking forward to telling you that we would be a family and have a child. It was disappointing."

"Don't be like that. You can't automatically assume it failed. If we do, how will the baby have the strength to hold on? We have to believe," she said, kissing the top of her head.

"I know. It's just after all we've been through, it'd be nice to get some good news for once."

"I know. It's okay. We'll be okay," she said rubbing her back. "Now what would you like to do?"

"You mean other than fast forwarding another two weeks?"

She smiled. "Yes, other than that. Something we can do now. Maybe to take your mind off of it."

"Are you catching tonight?"

"What?" she asked in confusion. "Catching?"

"Yes you fool," Casey said smiling realizing how off guard she caught Olivia. "Catching you know as in on call."

She sighed. "Well, normally I would be, but I told Cragen you sounded pretty distraught. I didn't say over what, but I have the night off. Why?" she asked with a smile.

"Because I would like a night out on the town, dinner, movie, and maybe some dancing. Just go out and try to relax if that's possible."

She smiled widely. "That sounds wonderful. I'm going to jump in the shower and change after. Meanwhile, you can decide where you'd like to go first. I don't know if we can manage all three out on the town in one night. We might have to do the first two, then come home and put some music on...if that works for you?"

"Anything as long as we are spending some time together. While you're in the shower, I'll change real quickly too. Nothing like trying to spend a romantic night on the town with your girl in ratted jeans and an old worn t-shirt."

Cupping her chin, she smiled. "Hey, I don't care what you wear. You're still irresistible to me," she said, kissing her deeply before standing up. "But yeah, you might want to change. Can't have the respectful ADA dressing like...well this in public. Might give the wrong impression, not to me of course..."

"Hey now," Casey said as she pushed Olivia toward the bathroom and smacked her lightly playing, "just for that I may go find a mini skirt and six inch heels missy. Be careful what you wish for."

"Oooh, that'll teach me!" she said with a raised brow and a smile as she headed into the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, she walked back into the room, pulling on some clean clothes as Casey was out of the room.

Casey, who was intent on giving Olivia hell, walked out of the room wearing fish net stockings, the shortest mini-skirt Olivia had ever seen, along with a see through blouse. All that topped off with a pair of six inch heeled black 'Fuck Me' boots as they were called now. It took all she had not to laugh when she caught the look in Olivia's eyes. It was a mixture of desire and disbelief.

"What detective? Is there something wrong with how I'm dressed?" Casey asked as she spun around for Olivia to see.

Her mouth hung. "Wha..uh...um..wow. Expecting to get lucky tonight are you?" she said with a bit of a laugh. "You're wearing the boots."

"I was just wondering who else is out there for me?" Casey said as serious as possible hoping her face and eyes didn't give her away, "Figured this is a guaranteed way to discover it."

She sighed. She knew Casey was playing around, but... "Geez, if you want it that bad, go. I might be here when you get back," she said in a hurt tone, sitting on the bed. "Look, I know it's for me, but...I just, I don't know. You look great, but now, more than ever, I feel...intimidated," she admitted in a small voice.

"Oh baby," Casey said walking up to Olivia. She was just trying to tease Olivia like she had done in the past. It never occurred to her she would take it any other way, but then again, she had never dressed like a hooker to tease her either. "Honey, I was just teasing you. What I'm really wearing is in the office."

"Really?" she asked in a pout. "I like this, but it's just a lot...at least for going out. Later, I could be up for it."

"Yes really," Casey said as she kissed Olivia quickly before jumping away and heading toward the office, "besides you have to be really good if you want to see this outfit again."

Olivia stood, grabbing her hand. "Will you keep the boots, pretty please ADA Novak?" she begged, walking around in front of her and dropping to her knees.

"You are incorrigible," Casey said as she started laughing.

"But yet, you love me," she said, walking out to the living room.

"Questionable at times. But always yes."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	9. Night on the Town

**WARNING:This chapter contains Adult Content.**

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 9: Night on the Town**

Casey enjoyed her night out on the town with Olivia. She couldn't remember the last time that either one of them had been so relaxed and carefree. Well, at least as relaxed and care free a NYPD officer and ADA could get anyways.

Olivia had taken her to the local Japanese sushi bar that had recently opened and, being the trooper that she was and always wanting her woman happy, had sat through the last chick flick that was out. Of course, she was quick to point out to her that if any of the guys saw her in that movie she was taking full blame. Casey smiled sweetly and reminded her that if the guys saw her there that meant their woman dragged them there as well. Which would maintain her *man card* that she was determined to keep with the guys.

When the movie ended, Casey had tried her hardest to convince Olivia to go to a club with her for some dancing. After all, this was New York City, the city that never sleeps. Olivia, of course, feigned tired and, after a brief make out session in an alley, had convinced her to go home. Not that she had really needed any convincing. She was ready to take Olivia home after dinner, but was determined to make the most of their night since they didn't get many.

"So," Olivia said as she opened the door and walked in holding her hand, "enjoy the movie?"

"It was good. I hear they are already making a sequel so maybe when can go see that when it comes out," Casey answered knowing how much Olivia would hate that. Lord knew she loved this woman with all her heart, but sometimes it was so easy to get her riled up. A riled up Olivia was one hell of a sight.

She smirked. "You might need to convince me, 'cause, you know, I wouldn't go without a good reason," she purred against her neck as she sat on the couch, Casey in her lap after turning a lamp on. "How does that sound?"

"Do I now?" Casey almost moaned out. She was losing this battle and losing it fast.

Olivia smiled, kissing her pulse point, her hands going under Casey's shirt to rub her bare stomach. "Mhm."

Casey quickly arched into the touch her body craving more. No matter how bad she wanted to tease Olivia that war was lost. She ran her fingers through her hair trying to get her even closer than what she was.

Smiling wider, Olivia moved her lips to Casey's in a searing kiss. "Would you please go dress in...whatever you want and these boots? I'll wait for you," she breathed by her ear.

Casey groaned at the loss of contact which motivated her to move faster than she probably ever had in her life. She was stripping her clothes off as she tore off to the office. She knew Olivia was probably expecting the same outfit she modeled before going out but she had a different plan. As quickly as she could, she changed her clothes pulled her boots back on and headed back toward the living room.

"Hey there sexy," she purred as she strutted her way to Olivia. The look she saw in Olivia's eyes was well worth the tease she did earlier.

Her mouth hung. "..W...wow. Hi," she said, her hands trailing her sides, going up to squeeze her breasts, seeing the nipples poking through. She groaned, instantly feeling the heat as she stood, wrapping her arms around her, kissing her pulse point. "Good God! You look amazing!"

"I take it you like the new outfit?" Casey asked as she began to unbutton Olivia's shirt and removing it from her pants.

Olivia nodded, taking her face in her hands and kissing her passionately, loving the feeling of Casey against her. "..Faster..." she moaned.

Casey, who had every intention of drawing it out and teasing Olivia, gave up all pretenses when she heard Olivia moan faster. She knew from past experiences, very good past experiences, that if she didn't she would be walking funny for a week or longer. Normally, she would gladly have that happen, but there was still a chance that there was a life growing in her so she had to be cautious.

On the other hand though, there was no need to take extra precautions with Olivia. She stripped Olivia of her shirt as quickly as she could with the result being that Olivia lost the last few buttons on her shirt. Her pants quickly followed which left her beautiful Olive skin exposed to her and do with as she pleased.

As she please she did. She ran her nails up and down Olivia's back applying just enough pressure to leave a mark. Then trailed her fingers down her abs toward the boxers she wore only to run her hands back up and palm her breasts flicking her fingers across the tight nipples smirking when she received a moan.

Olivia smiled, sitting back on the couch, placing her hands on Casey's stomach, which caused Casey to grab her hand and pull her back up, "Sweetie, if you're that worried, just play with me...I know you want it, but it's okay to go slow," she said as her hands rested on her stomach. "Do your best. I won't fight. Not tonight. Tell me what you want me to do. Where do you want me?" she asked. "I guess this is one thing we should've asked the doctor about."

"I want you. I need you to make love to me."

Olivia smiled. "I know sweetie," she took her hand and led her to their bedroom. Carefully, she ran her hands over Casey's warm body, kissing one pert nipple and squeezing the other, causing her to moan. She began to squeeze them gently as she kissed a line down the center of her body, going back up and kissing her stomach over and over. "We love you," she murmured into her skin, smiling.

Hearing Olivia whisper to what could possibly be their child brought Casey to tears.

Olivia looked up. Seeing her tears, she moved to the side, scooting up and holding her close. "What's the matter, sweetie?"

"Hearing you whisper to our child. Telling him or her how much we love them. It just overwhelmed me."

She smiled, nuzzling her neck, holding her closer. "We do. I know it'll work. It's there," she said, laying her hand on her stomach and rubbing gently, "they're there. And they're ours. I love you SO much!"

"Olivia Benson, are you trying to curse us with twins?!" Casey exclaimed trying to sound mad, but in truth not. They had discussed children and they both had agreed if it was possible they would like two children. Granted, not all at once, but hey, if it happened it happened.

Olivia shook her head. "No, but IF it happens... which would you like first, the princess or prince?"

"I'll take either as long as it is healthy. That's all I want. What about you? Which do you want first?"

She sighed. "Well, I agree with you, but a little princess to spoil would be nice." She laughed. "You know, I never imagined you would be dressed like this when we had this conversation."

"Hey, I didn't think I would be dressed like this either the first time you talked to our child. So I would have to say we're even. Although defiantly a story not to share with our kids."

"Agreed. So...is it safe to say the mood is gone or not?"

"My love," Casey whispered as she pulled Olivia to her, "my desire for you is never gone."

Smiling, Olivia pulled her on top of her, carefully discarding the lingerie, before trailing her hands all along her body as she pulled her in for one kiss after another. "You take the reins," she whispered.

"I love you so much," Casey whispered as she guided Olivia's hand to her core. God, as much as she wanted to go easy and slow, she really did want her to take her. "Please take me."

Nodding, the detective easily slid three fingers into her, easily catching her as Casey fell against her chest. She turned her head, kissing her hard on the lips, moaning into it as her fingers began to move. "Casey..."

Casey moaned feeling the fullness she felt. Only Olivia could make her feel like this. She began matching Olivia thrust for thrust. She could feel her climax building and it was building faster than ever before. "Baby I…"

Olivia nodded, kissing her sweetly, her thumb rubbing Casey's clit. "I know, baby. Please, come for me. I won't let you go."

Casey threw her head back and screamed as her climax hit her wave after wave. Her love for the woman who was whispering how beautiful she was and how much she loved her only magnified them. She collapsed forward as she gasped for air. "You..are…an..amazing..lover." She whispered in between gulps of air.

Olivia smirked. "I should be. I take pride in the fact that I can collapse you into a trembling mass of twitching muscles. You know, there is one more thing I could do, if you think you can take it."

Casey gently kissed Olivia before whispering, "I'm yours to do with as you please my love, now, tomorrow, and forever."

Olivia nodded, rolling her onto her back as she kissed her way down her body before spreading her legs. Her tongue barely grazed Casey's clit and she whimpered in pleasure. Olivia pulled her head up. "Is this going to be too much? It feels like it's been forever since I've done this."

"Please don't stop," she whimpered as she thread her fingers through Olivia's hair and pulled her to where she wanted her.

Olivia nodded, bending back down to lap at the tiny bundle of nerves, delighting in the sounds that were coming from her girlfriend. After a few moments, her tongue probed the depths of her heat, causing a strangled yelp, but she pulled back, never having heard that noise before, focusing on her clit as her lips latched around it and she sucked on it.

Casey's hips began to buck as she could feel another climax building again. She had never felt an orgasm like this so intense before when Olivia went down on her. Something was different this time.

Olivia hummed against her, continuing to suck on the spot, harder, relishing in Casey's hand gripping her hair and not caring about the pain, only concerned with Casey's needs.

Casey's hips shot off the bed and stilled in mid air. Her scream silent as it caught in her throat. Making love with Olivia was always intense, but this was beyond amazing. She didn't realize she was holding Olivia's head tight against her until she felt Olivia tug against her slightly.

Olivia crawled back up beside her, lying down and holding her close. "So, anything else you want to do tonight?" she asked, knowing Casey was physically spent.

"Mmmh," Casey mumbled as she snuggled in as close as she could to Olivia and began to drift off.

Olivia smiled, pulling the covers over them and kissing her cheek as her hand moved to her stomach. "I love you."

* * *

Casey had fallen asleep moments before, but the images in Olivia's mind of her in total exquisite ecstasy wouldn't leave her mind. The way her body had arched into her touch, her taste, all so perfect. Without fully realizing it, her hand wandered down between her legs as a long moan of Casey's name escaped. And when Casey's head moved on her chest, her fingers worked faster, harder. After only a few minutes, it was harder and harder to keep quiet. She bit her lip.

"Mmh," Casey moaned as she subconsciously realized what Olivia was doing.

Olivia, oblivious to the fact Casey realized what was going on, kept working, relishing in the heat from Casey laying on her. She was beginning to shake, but still refused to make hardly any noise lest she wake the beautiful woman beside her. Her breathing rate increased as her fingers worked even harder. "C-Casey..."

Casey raised her head enough to kiss the pulse point on Olivia's neck. Olivia was shaking with the amount of restraint she was using. Casey felt bad for passing out before Olivia was satisfied."Come for me baby." Casey whispered in her ear.

She turned her head, resting it in her neck and smiling as the waves nearly peaked. She moved her head slightly to look into her eyes. "I...I d-didn't me-mean t-to..." she couldn't even finish her sentence."Please, damn it! S-so close, s-s- much, but..." Tears sprung from her eyes.

"It's ok, honey," Casey whispered as she ran her fingers across Olivia's breast loving how taunt they were "The mere fact that it's me you're thinking of is so hot. To know that it's still my name you'll be screaming out when you come is enough for me. Please baby, come for me."

She nodded, her entire body rigid, moaning she felt Casey's hand running across her chest. Her breathing came in sharp pants. Knowing that Casey was watching her though made it that much hotter. She brought her lips crashing onto hers as she screamed her name in her lips with her orgasm, feeling herself tremble. After which, she laid her head in her neck again panting. "I...love...you..."

"I love you too Olivia with my heart and soul," Casey whispered as she gently kissed Olivia's forehead.

Olivia smiled, turning on her side and snuggling into her, her hands resting on Casey's stomach, rubbing gently. "I love you and I never want to lose you. And it'll always be your name coming from my lips as long as I live...forever."

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart you are stuck with me till the day you die."

"And that's not going to be for a long, long time."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	10. Hope

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 10: Hope**

About a month and a half later, after missing 2 periods, Casey went and bought two tests. She hadn't been feeling well for a while either. Like her emotions were hyperactive, her emotions changing at the drop of a hat. She'd gone home early and took the tests which had come out positive, but remembered what the doctor had said about the hormone injections, so after calling Olivia, she made a doctor's appointment which she was currently waiting for Olivia at.

"Honey," Casey whispered as she flew into Olivia's open arms the second she entered the waiting room, "I took two tests within twenty minutes of each other. I remembered what the doctor said, so I scheduled an immediate appointment. That's why I called you down her in such a hurry."

Olivia smiled, wrapping her arms around her, kissing her cheek. "It's okay. We're a bit slow today. Let's go sit down," she said, walking over to two empty seats and sitting down. "And...they came back positive?"

"Yes both, I thought about going and buy a third test, but decided to let the doctor do that one. You know what they say. Third time's a charm."

Olivia smiled, taking her hand and kissing it. "I know it is. We are. I just know it."

"I hope so. It's got to be. How else do you explain my mood swings and morning sickness?"

She nodded. "It would explain it...completely. I've tried not to stress you out too much."

"I know, baby, I know, but what if it's a false positive? I'm not sure I can handle that. Not right now."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "It's not. Why would you be so sick if you weren't?"

"Almost everyone has been out for that stomach virus that was going around. What if that's what made me sick?"

"Don't take this so negatively, sweetie. It could still be there. We don't know yet."

"I know I know."

Olivia held her tighter, resting her head on her shoulder. "Just try to relax a bit. We'll know soon."

Casey nodded as she leaned against Olivia's shoulder just as the nurse walked out to call them back in. After a gentle squeeze from Olivia Casey was able to stand and walk toward the nurse.

"Miss Novak, what brings you in today?"

"I have taken two pregnancy test that have had resulted in positives. I, we, were wanting an conformation from a doctor."

She smiled. "I'm sure that won't be a problem. Let me just go alert the doctor. Excuse me," she walked away and they went to sit back down for a few minutes.

The nurse appeared moment's later. "Ladies, if you'll follow me."

Olivia stood, but Casey was frozen on the spot. Olivia sat back on her heels in front of Casey, resting her hands in her lap. "Casey? Are you all right?" she asked, looking into her worried emeralds.

"I can't go. I just can't," Casey whispered as she shook with fear. "What if it's a repeat of before? I can't go through that. I won't go through that again."

Olivia sat on her knees and pulled her into her arms. "Sweetie, how are we going to know for sure? I mean, you've had morning sickness, mood swings. They're classic pregnancy symptoms. Honey, I know you're terrified. I am too, but you said you wanted to try again. I'll be right there with you the whole time. I promise. It's going to be okay. But we'll do what you want. We can either find out now or wait and risk it. Casey I don't want to risk this. I love you too much. I want to know, but I won't force you."

Casey nodded as she held Olivia's hand in a death-grip. She was so afraid that if she let go or loosen up everything she had worked so hard for would fall away and she would be left with nothing. Slowly, with unsure steps, she urged Olivia to her feet and to follow the nurse out the door.

Olivia switched hands so one arm was around her too before she kissed her cheek. "It's going to be okay. I've got you and I won't let you go."

Casey followed the nurse down the hallway as every imaginable scenario played through her head. 'I'm sorry Miss Novak, it was a false alarm to I'm sorry Miss Novak, but you have another ectopic pregnancy.' None of her scenarios involved congratulations you two are about to become parents. Why should it since it seemed that the only news they received from doctors was 'I'm sorry but you've lost the child you were carrying'?

Olivia stopped, noticing she was shaking. "Hey, listen to me okay? We can't give up. I won't let you. I know our history isn't the best, but maybe that happened so this one could work and we'll treasure it even more. Don't you think that could be possible? Hm?"

"I can't," Casey began to cry. "What if...what if..."

Standing her against the wall, Olivia picked her up and carried her the last few steps as Casey laid her head on her shoulder and her arms around her neck as they were led into the room. She sat carefully in a chair, rocking her a tiny bit. "Sorry," she apologized to the nurse, "she's just really nervous after what's happened."

"No, its ok, I understand, believe me."

Olivia held her tighter, repositioning her slightly. "So, is it an ultrasound or a blood test? I'm sorry. I'm kind of preoccupied here. What would you like me to do with her?"

"It will be a blood test. She isn't far enough along for an ultrasound," the nurse said as she began to glove up. "Now for the depressing news: as anxious as you two are to find out, it will be possibly another week before we know for sure. It can take up to five days to get the results back."

Olivia nodded, rubbing Casey's back as she heard her whimper. "It'll be fine, Case. I know there's been a lot of flu going around, but the symptoms she's been having, the morning sickness and intense mood swings, they are key elements right? I wasn't just assuming?"

"They can be, yes ma'am, but the fact that she is taking hormone therapy can play a big part in that."

She sighed. "Yes, that's true. I was just hoping to try to make her feel a bit better."

"I know and understand that all too well, but I have found it best to be up front and honest in these situations."

Olivia nodded. "I agree, but still."

"When was her last menstrual cycle? Do you remember?"

"Uh...um...I guess, two months ago? I-I'm not sure, but..."

"Between the hormone therapy and the fact that she hasn't had a period in almost two months, I would say more than likely she is pregnant. But hormone therapy has been known to mess with a woman's cycle. I understand how important it is that this is positive, but you both need to be prepared in case it is negative as well."

"Yeah, we know, but we're trying not to be negative. Well, I am anyway."

"I understand." The nurse said as she stepped forward with two vials and a syringe "Miss Novak, I need you to roll up your sleeve so I can take some blood."

Casey did as she was asked almost as if she was on auto pilot. She winced slightly when the needle broke her skin, but other than that sat like a statue in Olivia's lap. When the nurse was done, she barely registered her leaving or giving Olivia the information they needed if they didn't hear front he office within five days.

Olivia rolled down her sleeve, kissing her cheek. "Do you want to go out for lunch?"

"No, I want to go home," Casey said as she removed herself from Olivia's hold. "Please go back to work. I want to be alone right now. Will you please do that Olivia?"

"If you promise me you'll sleep and won't do anything else. I think sleep might help. And that if you need me - for anything - you'll call me," she said, standing up and squeezing her shoulder.

"I will. Please, I just want to be alone right now." Casey said as she headed for the door "Hey Olivia." Casey said stopping to make sure she had her undivided attention. "I Love you."

She walked over. "Casey," she wrapped her arms around her, even though she fought a bit, she soon quit and just stood there, trembling slightly, "I love you too. Do you want me to bring dinner home?"

Casey nodded against Olivia's cheek. She loved being held by her. She pulled back and kissed Olivia on the cheek."See you later."

* * *

"Objection, your honor." Casey said jumping to her feet. "The victims sexual past can not be called into question under the rape shield laws."

"Your honor, I am only asking about something the victim herself brought up." Langan said as he looked from Casey and Judge Pertrosky. "Upon the said victim talking about it first the rape shield law no longer applies."

"She brought it up after you asked her if she's had sexual relations with the accused before. You knew damn well she had and you used this tactic to get through that door." Casey spat out as she walked around the table to Langan.

"I had no way of knowing until she answered the question." He said a turning to face her. "Oh yeah, they just spent three years in a relationship in college and never did anything."

"It's been known to happen before."

"Maybe to you, Langan, but not everyone else."

"That's enough." Judge Pertrosky said hitting her desk with the gavel. "We are going to take a five minute recess and I will see counsel in my chambers now."

Casey followed Pertrosky and Langan into Pertrosky's office. She could tell that Pertrosky was mad and was terrified of the wrath they were about to endure.

"Langan, what the hell was that in the court room?" Pertrosky asked spinning on her heels.

"I was simply trying…"

"Enter the victim's sexual past by asking if she has ever had intercourse with the accused?" Casey snarled out "You knew that answer and don't act like you didn't."

"How was I to know?"

"Please Langan, unlike your past relationships, people do actually enjoy having sex with their partner. They don't have to come up with excuses to avoid it."

"I'll have you know that…"

"Nothing!" Pertrosky shouted regaining control of the room "You knew and you also knew this was your way in the door to bring up her past. Unfortunately, once she opens that door, there is no closing it.'

"Your honor!"

"I don't like it anymore than you do, Casey, but that law states once the victim brings up their sexual past it is open for discussion. But we will limit the questioning to their relationship only. If you try to bring any other questions about other partners and I will have you thrown in jail for contempt do you understand, Mr. Langan?"

"But your honor, how he went about it should be enough to throw that line of questioning out."

"It should, Casey, but it isn't. I'm sorry."

* * *

Olivia sighed, happily walking into Casey's office. Other than needing a warrant signed, she had a bit of better news. The doctor had called and left a message on her phone saying she couldn't get a hold of Casey, but that the test results were indeed positive. She sighed, sitting on her desk as she watched the clock, hoping Casey wouldn't be much longer.

* * *

The rest of the case seemed to go downhill from there. No matter what Casey did, Langan always found a back door in and was destroying each and every one of her witness. By the end of the day, Casey wondered if she would even be able to get him to plead down to a misdemeanor sexual assault instead of the rape and aggravated sodomy she was trying to get. If this week would ever end she would be grateful. "Hey you," Casey husked out as she entered the office and saw Olivia sitting on the couch. "What brings you here? Do you need a warrant for your case?"

She smiled. "And another thing. Can we get a bit of privacy? You look like you might need a few minutes to vent," Olivia said, hopping off of her desk and opening her arms.

"Gladly," Casey muttered as she slammed the door shut with her foot and fell into Olivia's waiting arms.

The past week had been hell on her. She had retreated into her shell after the doctor's appointment, but that only lasted about two days before Olivia confronted her over it. That had lead to another shouting match between them which ended with them holding each other and crying together. They both had the same fears that the test results were negative or something would happen to cause her to lose it again.

"I just had a trial with Langan as the defense attorney. That man is so crooked and underhanded that it should be a crime. But he always skates on just this side of having a judiciary hearing."

"Yeah, well, that's the defense for you, crafty to a fault," she said, wrapping her arms securely around her. "But guess who called and left me a message...Mommy?" she whispered into her ear, wondering if Casey would catch on.

"Baby, I'm really tired and had a long day, I really don't feel up to playing…..Did you just say Mommy?"

Olivia smiled, puling out her cell phone and putting it on Speaker as she punched in the code to hear her voicemail. "Let's find out, shall we?"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that you haven't listened to the message yet?" Casey asked, suddenly terrified.

"Shhh, no, I have. I just saved it so we could hear it together. Is that okay?" she asked, kissing her cheek.

Casey smiled and nodded knowing that if it was bad news Olivia would shield her the best that she could. Which meant one thing and one thing only: they were pregnant. But Casey didn't want to hope too much until she heard the message herself.

Olivia smiled. "Hello Olivia, this Dr. Smith. We've just gotten Casey's test results back and I think you'll both be happy to know that she is, without a doubt, two months along. Please schedule a follow-up as soon as possible to check both Casey's and that baby's health. Thank you and congratulations."

Olivia deleted the message, still holding Casey tightly to her. "So?"

"We're pregnant," Casey whispered. "We're pregnant."

Olivia kissed her head. "Yes sweetie, we really are. You are and I love you."

"Oh god," Casey said as she wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and squeezed tightly "I love you too. We're going to be parents. It worked."

Olivia smiled. "I love you too," she said, kissing her. "Yes we are. You'll be a great mommy!" She stepped out into the middle of the room and spun her around before sitting her lightly on her feet. "Now, I do need a warrant signed."

"Not as good as you honey," Casey whispered before kissing Olivia briefly "Now about that warrant, I can say after today that Pertrosky is out of the picture for a while. I can try Moredock though."

"Sounds good," she said, smirking as her hand rested on Casey's firm backside, squeezing gently. "Dinner tonight?"

"Would you settle for Chinese takeout in my office? It's already after three and once you guys get the warrant and arrest the guy you need to question him. Not to mention I have enough paperwork and motions to keep me chained to my desk for a week."

"Yes," she purred into her neck, "anything for you, Mommy."

"You're incorrigible," Casey whispered as she made her way to the phone to call Judge Moredock. After a brief conversation on the phone Casey was able to secure the needed warrant. "Go baby. Have Fin pick the warrant up from Moredock and remember, be careful. You have two of us depending on you now."

Olivia snaked her hands around her from behind, holding her tight. "Absolutely. I love you."

* * *

Within four hours, they'd searched the apartment, caught the suspect, questioned him and had him in lock up. It was probably the fastest they'd accomplished anything in a while.

"Why are you so happy, Olivia?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, you look like you're hiding something," Munch chimed in, "so spill it."

Olivia just shook her head. "Now, if you don't mind, boys, I have a pervious engagement," she said walking out the door.

* * *

Ten minutes later, she was at Casey's door, Chinese in hand.

"Please tell me you made sure my General Tao is extra spicy and you have brought extra egg rolls." Casey asked smiling when she looked up seeing Olivia at her door.

She smiled, walking in and closing the door before sitting in front of her desk. "Of course. Are you feeling better?"

"I will be as soon as I get something to eat. I'm starving. I was about to order and eat without you."

Olivia slid the food over to her as she grabbed hers. "Things going a bit better now?"

"Mmmh," Casey mumbled as she bit into an egg roll.

Olivia smiled as she bit into Kung Pao, licking her lips, but missing quite a bit as she asked. "Did I get it all?"

"No," Casey said as she busted into laughter 'Come here. I swear having you sometimes is just like having a little kid."

Olivia swiped the food to the side, leaning over the desk, laughing. "Where?"

"Right here," Casey whispered as she leaned up and licked it off of Olivia's lips. She pulled back and shivered seeing the look in Olivia's eyes. "I love you baby. Thank you so much for making all my dreams come true."

Olivia laid on the desk, propped up on her elbows. "Thank you. How else would you like to celebrate?"

"I would love a nice soak in the tub and a massage because my back and shoulders are killing me, but neither are happening tonight, honey. I have to be in court at nine and I still have about six motions to prepare. We are going to have to take a rain check on celebrating. Besides, I don't want to jinx us again."

"Stress will jinx us again. Please come home with me. Or I could stay with you...?"

"Baby, I can't, but you're welcomed to stay stretch out on the couch and get some rest. I have to finish these motions though before you get any ideas."

Olivia nodded, walking over and lying on the couch. "If you need a back rub wake me." And she was out from exhaustion.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: CaseyBensonNovak, ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	11. Invisible Heart Strings

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 11: Invisible Heart Strings**

It was after one am when Casey finally finished up with the motions. She looked over at Olivia and smiled. She looked so at peace when she slept. A smile crept across her face as she remembered all they had been through.

Olivia had been so cold and mean to her when she first arrived. Showing up in her office to chew her a new one after their first case, only to catch her crying. That was the first time she saw a compassionate side to Olivia when she sat down and explained the horrors and reality of their job.

Then, when she asked why they do it, the simple answer of because somebody has to had confused her at first. Then, the longer she worked with them the more she understood what she meant. Most officers shied away from these crimes and the turnover rate for their division was outrageous.

Then slowly Olivia began to open up to her.

Olivia let out a light snore, rolling onto her side and trying to get comfortable again.

She had learned that the previous ADA, and her lover, had been killed by a drug lord in a drive-by. That had devastated Olivia the most since she had failed to protect her as she had promised.

The resentment of Casey being there began to fade as time went on.

It wasn't until Alex had magically come back from the dead that Olivia fully opened up to her. She had no clue what was said that night, but she silently thanked Alex on a regular basis for the talk.

It was that talk that got Olivia to start asking Casey to join the guys for drinks and as time moved on she began to open up more and more.

Finally, after almost a year of flirting, Casey asked her out on a date. She wasn't sure who was shocked more when Olivia said yes.

Olivia smiled in her sleep, pulling her jacket over her, but a lengthy yawn pulled her from that and her eyes focused on Casey. "Hi..." she said groggily, "finished yet? I'm cold."

Casey smiled at the love of her life. She couldn't imagine one second without her. "I am baby. Let's get you home and in bed. What time did Cragen say you had to be in?"

She sat up and stretched. "8:30."

"Come on baby. Let's get home and take a brief nap. I have to be back at the office at 8 and court at 9. Hopefully tomorrow will be an easier day."

"Mhm." When they got home, Olivia kicked off her shoes and socks, pants, shirt and bra before climbing into bed, trying to stay awake until Casey got in, but it wasn't working.

"Baby, go ahead and fall asleep." Casey whispered as she laid a gentle kiss on her head. "I'm going to take a quick shower and I'll join you."

She nodded. "Say good night to the baby please?" And she was out again.

Casey stepped into the hot water and let it massage the tension from her shoulders. Now that she knew she was pregnant she couldn't pull many more days like today. If it wasn't for the fact that it was too late to brief someone on the case, she would have passed it off. Let someone else stay at the office until one or later.

She loved her job, but the one thing she loved more than her job was her family, which was the only reason why the hardest decision for her quickly became the easiest decision.

In the morning after court, she was going to talk to Branch and let him know he needed to find a new attorney for SVU. She was stepping down until after the baby was born.

After a bit, Olivia felt Casey slip in beside her and hold her tightly. "You okay?" she asked sleepily.

"I'm perfect, baby," Casey whispered as she laid her head on Olivia's chest, "go back to sleep."

She nodded. "Jus' making sure." And she was out again.

* * *

Casey was the first up and out the door later that morning. She left a little note against the coffee pot knowing that leaving it there Olivia would see it. It was a simple note telling her she loved her and try to leave early if possible tonight she wanted to talk to her. Of course it was followed with a don't panic everything is fine take a deep breath. She knew the second Olivia read those words she would panic.

Waking about an hour later, she showered, dressed and did her makeup before walking into the kitchen for a quick cup of coffee. Casey's note intrigued her, but she trusted her, so not long after, she was out the door.

Casey's day seemed to be looking up for her. Pertrosky accepted all her motions except for one. Of course Casey didn't care she had the motion she really wanted. It was an old trick she had learned in law school. Flood the opposing counsel and Judge with motions one of two things will happen. You would either get your way or get your ass chewed. It was a fifty-fifty shot.

Her meeting with Branch went even better. He had asked her to stay on as the SVU ADA, but he would supply a second ADA. It was something he had been considering for their case load and conviction rate. He knew that Casey didn't bill near as many hours as she put in being the only ADA for the squad. She would remain the lead ADA and the new one would fill in completely while she was out on maternity leave.

It sounded like a wonderful idea, but Casey didn't like having to train a new attorney to deal with what she did on a daily basis. Branch relieved her fears by saying the one he had in mind pretty much knew her way around the cases. She agreed, just asked if he could bring the attorney in as soon as possible. She didn't want to do one thing to jeopardize her pregnancy.

At lunch time, Olivia stopped by her office, bringing Chinese again. "Delivery."

"Hey boys, has anyone seen my beautiful woman?" Casey asked as she walked into the bull pen looking around for Olivia.

"I think she went to take you lunch," Fin said.

"Well damn. I didn't think I would be done this early and wanted to surprise her and take her to lunch. Let me try to get her on her cell phone."

Olivia pulled out her phone. "Casey? Where are you?"

"Apparently, we both had the idea to surprise the other. Please wait there. I'll be there in about ten minutes. I'm leaving the station now."

"Okay."

Casey rushed through her office door and straight into Olivia's arms catching her off guard as she began to kiss her deeply. "I love you and I have missed you."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "Missed me? It's been four hours! I love you too. But yeah, I know what you mean."

"I know, but I've had a lot running through my mind and a lot to sort through. Having you here just makes everything easier. So do you want to have that talk now or wait 'til later?"

Olivia walked her over to the couch as they sat. "Now."

"After court this morning, I went and talked to Branch. I told him that I was pregnant and, in light of what has happened in the past, I'm stepping down."

"And...how did he take that news?"

"Not too happy, but we reached a compromise. He is bringing in a second ADA. I will be the lead ADA at all times and whoever he brings in will take full control when I leave for maternity leave. When I come back, we will share the case load. Before I leave it will be more 75-25. They will take the most of the work load."

Olivia sighed, getting up and pacing the room. "Casey... I think it's best if you hear this from me..."

"Best to hear what?" Casey asked trying her best not to panic. "What's wrong?"

Olivia turned, walking back over to sit in front of her knees in front of Casey. "Well, there's only one ADA who would absolutely understand this situation and," she sighed, "Casey, she's back in New York, but I promise you have nothing to worry about. My heart belongs to you."

"Alex."

She nodded. "I would rather be honest than lie. I love you. Are you okay?"

"Olivia, you think I didn't know that she's been back for three years? She's a Bureau Chief at the moment and was engaged to a man named Robert 'til her affair with Jim Steele. You tried to contact her for about a month after she returned. Honey, you forget I get the phone bill and cut the check."

She sighed. "Oh...yeah. So you don't believe me?"

"I didn't say that, Olivia Benson. I just said I knew she was back, she's been back, and that, for about a month, you tried to contact her. It would probably be my guess everyone at the 1-6 did. Oh, and by the way, baby, you happen to have cost quite a few judges a lot of money."

"What? Why?"

"They had plenty of money riding that once Alex returned you would return to her. Apparently, your relationship with her was legendary throughout the department. I was actually warned by Donnelly to steer clear of you because your heart belonged to Alex. When she returned for the trial, I was panicked. She was alive and that meant I had no chance with you. That was until she was whisked away. You began opening up to me, flirting, things like that. I figured you finally got the closure you needed which gave you the ability to move on."

Olivia sat next to her. "I did. It's just...she was the first real female friend I had in this job and then it...turned into more. I was so broken when she just up and left. Then you came along and I was still reeling, but you waited. You didn't push," she placed a hand on Casey's stomach, "and now, because of that, I have someone wonderful whom I wouldn't trade for anything and a child. Yes, I do miss her, but I miss my friend that's all. There are hardly any females in this profession. I love you and I'll never take that back for as long as I live."

Casey smiled at Olivia. Most women in her position would probably be reeling and screaming hearing her partners ex was coming back to fill in their spot. But Casey wasn't most women and neither was Olivia. Actually Olivia's reaction to Alex returning and her fear of how it would affect her just re affirmed her love for her and each other. "Baby, I want you to listen and listen closely ok? At one time, I was worried about her. Not now. I know without a doubt where your heart lies. I hope that you will be able to regain your friendship with her. I just would like to make sure she understands that you are spoken for. I know you respect me, us, and our child, and wouldn't do anything to risk losing that, but that doesn't mean she does."

She nodded. "Yes, bu-but even so, I feel I need to tell you this: what we had was...powerful. I don't intend to try anything. In fact, I shouldn't even be saying this, but I don't know what's going to happen, but you and this child are the most important things to me. People I mean! I-I just... it's going to be a shock to my system and I may need a little extra love through then. I'm not expecting anything, but...I just... I'm going to need help! Even though they're gone, I- Oh, Case, I feel horrible!" she said, tears dripping down her face. "Please don't go!"

"Honey, we will take it one day at a time. I know you still love her. A part of you will always love her. It's a fact of life. You may not love her like you did at one time, but you still love her. I understand that and accept it. The only thing that will have me walk out that door and leave you is to cheat on me. That's all. I'm not leaving because your ex is back in town and now you will be working with her. Please remember I will be working with her too. I need you to relax. I'm really thinking you're more worried about her coming back then I am."

She nodded. "I might be. I'd love to just go home and cuddle up with you in bed."

"Come on baby," Casey said standing and holding her hands out, "I don't have court for the rest of the day and what work I need to do can be done at home."

Olivia nodded, taking her hands and standing as she hugged her again, their cheeks touching. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Anything you'd like to do when we get home?"

"No baby, let's just relax be lazy. For some reason I am exhausted."

"The baby's making you tired."

"Just like you, always wearing me out."

"Hmm, must be my genes then, huh?"

"Lord, I'm creating a monster. Before I am unable to fit your head through the door, let's get out of here."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: CaseyBensonNovak, ladybugsmomma & Guest

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	12. Finding a Place

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 12: Finding a Place**

Alex stood outside the building to the 1-6. It had been so long since she had been here and the memories flooded through her mind. Her legendary fights with Olivia, Stabler's infuriating attitude, Munch's conspiracy theories, Fin's easy going attitude. Each of them had touched Alex in one way or another, but who had touched her the most was Olivia.

She was the one, who despite the arguments, broke through her shell and eventually she fell for the brown haired detective. She was also the one she owed her life to now. If she hadn't been with her that night she was shot, she would have bled to death on the street.

Taking a deep breath, she entered the doors preparing to see a family that she'd avoided since returning from wit sec.

Olivia looked up as she heard the familiar sound of heels, but instead of seeing Casey it was... "Alex?"

"Detectives," Alex said looking at each of them for a second, but allowing her eyes to linger a little longer on Olivia. "I hear congratulations are in order, Olivia."

Elliot grinned. "And why is that, Counselor? Do you know something we don't?"

Olivia sighed. "Yes Elliot, she does."

"Are you going to stop her?"

She shook her head. "Continue if you'd like, but I'd also like to have a chat with you, if I could."

"No, I was under the impression that everyone knew. I'll leave that to you, but we can talk anytime you like. I'm sorry if I spoiled any surprises."

Olivia shook her head again, beckoning her closer. "Its uh, it's not that. We're just trying not to jinx it again."

"Good luck. If there's an interview room available, we could talk now if you like, if not we can do it later. I do need to go over and be briefed by Casey on all the open cases."

She shook her head, pulling out her phone to text Casey. "Is it okay if I talk to Alex now? She just stopped by. Or do you need her right away?"

* * *

Casey looked at her phone and shook her head. Olivia had been so high strung since she told her Alex was returning. Every night she came home and swore to her that she was the only one. Casey tried her best to understand and each time told Olivia to stop worrying she knew where her heart was, but was finding it extremely difficult with her increasing mood swings. "Enjoy yourself. I'm just putting things together for the files she will be taking over."

* * *

"Sorry," she text. She looked back to Alex. "Let's go find that interview room." Two minutes later, she was closing the door behind herself. "I can't say I'm not happy to see you after all this time, but why didn't you let me know you were back sooner? Did you know, even then, about me and Casey?"

"I had heard through the grapevine that you were dating her when I returned. I was offered, by Branch, to be a second ADA for SVU when I returned, but Casey was doing so well and you two seemed to be doing great. I didn't want to interfere."

"You mean break us apart because you still cared? It does make sense and Casey's brilliant, but you could've at least told me. I would've taken you for a coffee or something." She sighed. "Okay, so maybe I'm worried about losing everything with you around, but can you blame me? I love Casey, I do. So why am I so worried that I can't work with you?"

"Because," Alex whispered as she closed the gap between her and Olivia, "what we had was so powerful. It was the type of love that people only dreamed about. That is why. We were two forces that were pulled together by something unseen. I will ask you: are you so worried because deep down you still love me?"

Olivia looked down at her feet. "..I..but I can't...not that way. I-I've missed you. Everything. But then, it all disappeared and it was...different. She makes it different. Yes, I do miss you. To some point, I will always love you." She looked up into her eyes. "It's not like we had some huge fight and fell out. All I really know now is that I still love you, but I'm in love with Casey. I don't know what my heart wants of me. I would never hurt her like that. Especially after what happened a year ago..."

"Relax Olivia." Alex said taking a step back. "You can be a lot of things, but a cheater isn't one of them. I'm glad you moved on, I really am. It hurts because every woman wants to think that their one true love would wait forever for them, but it doesn't happen like that. Casey is good for you. You are a lot more relaxed and happy since you two have started dating. I would love to regain our friendship if that's ok with Casey."

Olivia stepped up, wrapping her arms around her. "I've missed you," she whispered, "more than anything else that's what I want."

"I need to be heading over to Casey's office. Maybe we can get together for lunch or coffee?" Alex said as she hugged Olivia back.

She smiled, opening the door. "That sounds great."

"Detectives, it was great seeing everyone again," Alex said as she left the interview room, "we need to get together and catch up sometime, but right now I must get over and meet with Casey."

Elliot smiled. "Glad to see you back."

Munch and Fin agreed.

"How about in two hours?" Olivia asked. "Have Casey call me about it."

"I will." Alex answered as she left the bull pen.

* * *

She felt her stomach churn into knots as she headed toward the ADA's office.

It was one thing to be working with an ex-girlfriend, it's another to be working with you ex-girlfriend's current girlfriend. She just hoped that Casey didn't hold anything against her or was threatened by her.

"Come in," Casey called out as she looked up from the file she was reading when she heard someone knock on her door.

Alex walked in cautiously, clearing her throat as she stood in the middle of the room. "Hello Casey. How are you?"

"I'm good, please have a seat. Did you have a good visit with the guys?"

She smiled, nodding. "Thanks. Yeah, it's been quite a while. So, you want me to take a good majority of this for a while? I never got used to the pencil skirts."

"For the most part yes, until I return from maternity leave, then we will be sharing the case load fifty-fifty. Until then, I am basically your para-legal in a sense. I will do the research and file the motions. Everything else is yours."

"You seem nervous. Are you feeling okay? Olivia didn't say anything, but she did tell me that you were being careful of something and I apologize if it's too much of a touchy subject to discuss."

"No, not at all. We have recently found out I'm pregnant which I'm sure Branch told you or he may not have. A little over a year ago, I lost our child that we were carrying. I had an ectopic pregnancy. So, needless to say, we are being extra careful with this one and the second I received confirmation of the pregnancy, I went to Branch and actually wanted to take leave until after the baby was born, but he came up with the idea of bringing in a second attorney."

She nodded. "I'm sorry for your loss. I understand you wanting to be extra careful, especially with the stress of this job. It makes sense that you would want to leave, but with how many cases SVU gets, I can see why Branch wanted to convince you to stay," she said, her hand lingering over Casey's trembling one on the desk. She was about to rest it on top, but thought better of it and pulled back. "I hope things go perfectly for you two this time around. You really are great together," she said with a smile.

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. Oh, and I was wondering if you two would like to have lunch today? Olivia suggested in about two hours. Said to have you call her. Now, where are you at on these cases?"

"I would love to, but if you two would like time to catch up and have lunch alone that is more than ok with me. Olivia has gone into this super guilty mode and is scared that I think she'll leave me for you. Why is beyond me. She has never once given me a reason to doubt her love. I really do wish she would just relax. As for the cases, pull up a chair because we have plenty going at the moment."

"It's great that you trust her so much. By the way, I had to laugh at the bets that were made. Even when I came back for the trial she was different. She may not've been yours yet, but her heart wasn't mine anymore."

"I know. Whatever you said to her that night I think really helped her a lot. After that she became more open and different."

She sighed. "I don't remember what I said...exactly. I just...I knew that we were over. I couldn't suddenly be back and stay. I didn't know how long I'd be gone. It...seemed insensitive to expect her to wait. Especially when I knew we weren't a 'we' anymore. It was hard, but I couldn't just expect her to wait for me."

"I can only imagine how hard that was for you and I'm so sorry. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if it happened to us. Now enough of this depressing talk. Let's get onto something more depressing, the cases we have to deal with."

For the next hour, Casey brought Alex up to speed on all the cases they had and where they stood on each. There were a few that both agreed to attempt to plead out their priors being more than enough for them to take the plea deal. Knowing that if they didn't they could easily receive life without parole or possibly the death sentence if they played their cards right. By the end, they had reached an agreement. Casey would finish out the current case she was trying and Alex would take over the ones slated to start the next week.

"You could come with us to lunch. I have no problem with it," Alex said.

"I appreciate it, but if I do Olivia will, more than likely, never have lunch with you alone and that is something I believe she needs. She needs some closure with you. She will never admit it, but it really hurt her when you didn't contact her to be honest it hurt everyone at the 1-6. Please, do me a favor and give her that closure."

"I even have qualms saying this, but are you sure? You know, even though she loves you with all her heart, she's kind of a loose cannon – if you will – around me."

"I will if it makes you feel better but, I trust her and don't see the need. I have a feeling though, even if I don't, it will be take out and back to the office. I will make a deal with you though."

"You don't have to, only if you want to. Do you want us to bring you something back if you don't?"

"About why you didn't contact her after you came back. Why you ignored her calls and, before you start, I know she called you. I'll tell you like I told her I see the phone bill and pay it. I'm not mad that she called you, but she needs to know. Everyone does at the station. They were there for your funeral and when you came back. For you to ignore them that was wrong."

She bit her lip. "I-I wasn't trying to ignore her, but you were doing so well Casey. I'd heard through the grapevine that you two were dating and I didn't want to throw a wrench into that. I'm happy she's happy with you."

"Thank you," Casey said as she stood and walked to Alex. "It really does mean a lot to me that you respect our relationship like that. Now, call Olivia and find out where she wants to meet for lunch. It's almost lunch time."

Minutes later, her phone rang. "Benson."

"Hello Benson, I am standing here with your beautiful woman and we would like to know if you're ready for lunch?"

She smiled. "Sure, do you two want me to meet you down there at the office?"

"Hold on," Alex said as she turned to Casey. "Do you want her to meet us here or somewhere else?"

"Tell her the café I've been eating at the last week. She'll know which one."

"Liv, Casey said at the café she's been eating at the last week."

"Okay, sounds good. I'll head there now." Once there, Olivia found a table and looked at a menu waiting.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: CaseyBensonNovak, ladybugsmomma, FluteChick2015 & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	13. News

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 13: News**

Casey smiled as she saw Olivia waiting at a table for them and quickly made her way to the table. "Hey baby, been here long?"

Olivia, smiling, stood, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek, pulling out her chair for her, then Alex before sitting back down. "No, I just got here a few minutes ago."

"I'm glad we didn't keep you waiting for long? Do we have our regular waitress?"

"Regular?" Olivia asked. "We have a regular? Casey?" she said after a few minutes, noticing her hands move to her stomach. "Are you okay?"

"Swear it felt like they just kicked. That's not possible. I'm only two months along. I think something is wrong."

Olivia's hand instantly covered hers. "I'll take you in, right now," she said, standing up with her. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"No go. Do you want me to notify anyone or do you have it?"

Olivia nodded. "Tell Cragen I'm taking the day. No interruptions, no phone calls. I'll call tomorrow morning. Oh and maybe Donnelly too. Thank you. Come on, sweetie. It's going to be okay."

Alex nodded as she reached for her phone to make the needed phone calls. She silently prayed that everything would be ok. Of all the people who deserved the happiness and completion of a family it was Olivia after all she had been through with her life.

She was instructed by both Donnelly and Cragen to keep them updated which she promised to do. Once the calls were made, she motioned for a waitress to come over. She quickly ordered everything she needed all to go.

Olivia helped Casey into the car as Alex stuck her head out. "Hospital or doctor?"

"Hospital."

She nodded. "I'll grab it and meet you."

Olivia nodded, getting in the driver's seat as Casey buckled herself in. "How do you feel?" Olivia asked, grabbing her trembling hand as she sped away. "What hurts?"

"It's almost like a stabbing pain, not like before, please hurry honey."

Olivia nodded, increasing her speed. "I'll do everything I can."

* * *

Once there, Olivia helped her out, but noticed Casey was in quite a bit of pain as she walked. So, again, she picked her up and carried her through the ER doors. The room was packed, but suddenly someone walked past that she recognized. "Dr. Jones!"

"Olivia, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Casey, a friend and I were out to lunch when she said she thought she felt kicking. But she's only two months. She says it's different this time, like a stabbing pain."

"Bring her back here. Let me grab a nurse and see what's going on."

Olivia followed him, holding Casey tightly, who whimpered in her arms. "Try to relax for me, okay? You two will be fine." She laid her on a bed and sat beside her in a chair, holding her hand. "You said it felt different, so let's see."

"Sit her down here and help her get into a gown. I will be back with the nurse and an ultra sound machine. I will only be gone a few minutes."

"There's a stabbing pain that's the best I can explain it. Not like last time though. I know it hurts to move."

Olivia bent down, sliding Casey's shoes off, then her skirt, then her blouse and helped her into the gown before helping her lie back in bed. "It's going to be okay."

The doctor returned within minutes with an ultrasound tech in tow.

"Ms. Benson, please lay back and relax for me. You know this is cold, I'm sorry," she said as she squirted gel on Casey's stomach. She quickly placed the wand on her stomach moving it around. "Well that explains a lot," she muttered as she looked at the images on the screen.

Olivia took Casey's outstretched hand. "What? What happened?"

"What happened, ladies, is that you are carrying twins. It's not uncommon to experience pain when you have twins. We will run a few extra tests, but given your background this is a high risk pregnancy, so you will more than likely be put on bed rest here shortly. I hope you are at a job where you can do some light duty until you are placed on bed rest."

Olivia grinned. "See? I told you it was nothing bad. Yeah, she can do some things from home. Are you feeling a little better?"

"I still feel the sharp stabbing pains they come and go sometimes really sharp and sometimes not as bad."

Olivia stood beside her, as the ultra sound tech wiped the gel away, gently rubbing clockwise circles into her stomach. She raised a brow, looking at her. "Better or worse?"

"Comes and goes," Casey said as someone knocked on the door.

Olivia sat on the bed beside her. "Come in."

"Ladies, I hope I'm not intruding, but since you had to run off in a hurry, and I know how long hospitals are, I brought you both some lunch," Alex said as she peaked around the door.

Olivia smiled. "Come in, Alex. Pull up a chair," she laid beside Casey. "Come here, sweetie."

"I really don't want to intrude, so I'll just drop your food and go." Alex said as she placed a brown bag on the rolling table.

Olivia nodded. "Thank you. Oh and you can tell them...the four of us are fine," she finished with a smile, resting her hand on Casey's stomach.

Alex stopped as she was half way out the door and spun on her heels to stare at Olivia in amazement. "Did you say the four of you?"

She nodded, grinning wider. "Yeah, I did."

"Oh my god, congratulations!" Alex said as she ran over and wrapped her arms around Olivia and then Casey. "I am so happy for you. I can't think of two people who deserve to be parents more than you two."

She smiled, hugging her back. "That's the good news. The bad news is that she'll probably be on ordered bed rest," she turned to Casey, "which she will do no matter how much she hates it. That's not saying you couldn't come over and work with her sometimes."

"Casey, I don't want you to think I am trying to take your job from you, but you will be on bed rest no matter what. I will gladly turn control over to you when you return. If being on bed rest will drive you that crazy, then I can bring you case files that you can look over and motions you can write up. It will keep you occupied."

Olivia smiled at Alex. "I didn't think it was ever your objective to take over her position by force. That's just not you."

"Thank you, that means a lot to me." Alex smiled at Olivia before turning to Casey. "You let me know what you need and I will bring it to you. Now, I will go and let you two have some alone time but please don't hesitate to call if you need anything and I mean anything."

Olivia stood, hugging her again and kissing her cheek. "You're great. You know that?"

"Not nearly as good as you Olivia,' Alex whispered as she hugged Olivia back. "Casey congratulations again and please take it easy." Alex said as she headed out the door. She was truly happy for the couple, but at the same time, it hurt. If Velez hadn't tried to kill her, that would be her in that bed having twins, not Casey.

Olivia watched her walk away and, for a split second, wished it was the other way around. If that hadn't happened, if Alex had never gone away, never been shot by Velez... Sighing, she turned back around and grabbed the tray with food before going to sit next to Casey. She picked the bag up, but quickly set it back down, lying in the bed and holding her, her hand on her stomach, without knowing what to say.

"I know baby and its ok," Casey whispered.

"Why though? I love you and I would never do that to you, but if that hadn't happened... I shouldn't dwell now. I have you, our babies and I am happy. It's just..."

"Sometimes, we can't help but let our mind think about what might have been. I've done it several times with Charlie. To be honest, a couple times since we've been together, and then I realize how good I have it. That when I realize it's to remind us of what we have not what we could have had."

Olivia smiled, kissing her deeply as she sat up, grabbing the food. "Are you still hungry?"

"Starved."

Olivia opened the bag handing her some food and grabbing some for herself as the doctor walked back in. "Oh, hi. We're still starving, so..."

"Not a problem Olivia. All the blood work is normal and all tests have come back fine. I am going to keep her over night and you need to schedule an appointment with your OBGYN for a follow up. Until you see him or her take it easy lay off the work load and everything else. Be prepared for bed rest."

Olivia smiled. "I'll make sure she is." She looked at Casey. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, baby, please go home, go see the guys, now might be a good time to let them in on the secret. And before you ask, I'm sure. Now go and I love you."

Olivia kissed her sweetly, running her tongue along Casey's bottom lip before nibbling on it gently. Then she moved a bit lower, kissing her stomach and whispering how much they loved them before hugging Casey again and standing up. "Do you want me to come back tonight?"

"If you don't mind bringing me some dinner and something to sleep in other than a hospital gown?"

Olivia shook her head, kissing her hand. "Of course not. I love you too. I'll be back."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, she was back at the house, grabbing Casey some sweats and a t-shirt before going to the precinct. Elliot was waiting for her, along with Munch and Fin. Cragen had walked out from his office, knowing who had walked in. "Hey guys."

"Hey Liv," Elliot said walking up to her. "Want to tell us what's going on? Although I'm pretty sure we all have it figured out."

She crossed her arms, perching on the edge of his desk. "Yeah? Take a guess."

"We're all betting we are about to be uncles," Elliot said with a little smirk on his face.

Smiling, she nodded. "Yes, but there's more. Let's see how smart you really are, Stabler."

"What do you mean more?" Stabler asked, suddenly worried for his partner and friend "The baby isn't in distress again. It's ok, right?" Everyone's face in the room suddenly fearing the worse for their friend.

"No, no. Nothing like that. She's fine. Though she'll be on bed rest, which I know will drive her crazy. I should almost go to the office and grab her laptop before I go back. That way she won't be so bored tonight, The doctor has asked her to stay just for observation."

Everyone released the breath they had been holding. Munch was the first to step forward. "If she's fine and the baby is ok what more is there unless you're having twins. God help us if that's so."

She stood from the desk. "Ah, that humor that politicians hate. And I mean all. What if that is the case? Why is that so bad?"

"The world can barely handle one Novak and one Benson to have two babies by them. We wouldn't have a clue what hit us."

She shrugged. "..Well, like it or not, that's the truth. She is having twins. I've...uh, I need to get back," she said walking out, but then turned around. "You know, the last I checked, Novak and I were two of the reasons this squad works so well, so even though I know part of you is happy, think how it'd function without us for a bit."

And she left, picking up Chinese before going to Casey's office to grab her laptop. She knew he wasn't trying to be mean or spiteful and it shouldn't bother her.

* * *

She knocked on the closed door.

"Come in," Alex called out to the closed door.

Olivia opened the door. "Hey. I don't suppose I could take Casey's laptop to her?"

"Olivia, please come in and take whatever you need to take to her," Alex said pushing herself back and stepping out of the way.

"Oh no, if I'm intruding, I..." she said, stepping inside, she said, still a bit disappointed by how the news went over.

"You are not intruding Olivia. This is Casey's office. Please come in and take what you need honey." Alex cocked her head to the side and studied Olivia she could tell something was bothering her and it had nothing to do with Casey and the babies. "Want to tell me what's wrong?"

She sighed, sitting in front of the desk. "..It's just the guys being guys. Munch in particular with his 'you're having twins? God help us if that's so. The world can barely handle one Novak and one Benson to have two babies by them. We wouldn't have a clue what hit us.' It shouldn't bother me, especially from him, but..."

"Normally you wouldn't but you're so scared and nervous considering what happened before I think the slightest remark will piss you off. It's just you being the overprotective Benson that we love, that's all."

She nodded. "I know," she rested her arms on the desk, laying her head on them. "I just...I don't know."

Alex walked around and began to rub Olivia's back. "Look just gather what you need and get back to Casey. Once you're around her you will calm down and relax ok? Don't try to act like I don't know what I'm talking about. You're a tightly wound rubber band right now and will remain like that until you have Casey in your sights."

Olivia nodded. "Hmmm, this is...this is just what you used to do when I was stressed," she said, gathering the laptop and power cord and stuffing them in the shoulder bag, "remember? I was always so wound up. You calmed me down so easily," she said, resting her head on the desk, "and we'd sit here and talk for hours."

"I do believe me I do." Alex said removing her hand from Olivia and taking a step back. "But Olivia that's not my job anymore. Go to Casey that's where you need to be."

Olivia looked up smiling. "I know. I guess I...just miss it," she said, standing. "Thanks for the pep talk, Cabot."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	14. Walk and Talk

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 14: Walk and Talk**

Casey was flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch. As always there was absolutely nothing on other than law shows that were way off point. On occasion, she liked to watch them for comedy, but today she just wasn't in the mood. She was about ready to fling the remote across the room when she heard the door open and saw Olivia peek around the door."Hello beautiful, please come in," Casey said as she scooted over on the bed to make room for her.

Olivia walked in closing the door, then went over to set the items on the rolling table. "Food, clothes and your laptop because, you know, we'll need extra of everything we have now," she said, sliding in beside her, and hugging her, sighing into her hair, almost a whimper as she breathed in her shampoo.

Casey wrapped her arms around Olivia and held her tight. She could tell by the look on her face that she tried to hide along with her demeanor there was something wrong. "Want to tell me what's bothering you?"

She sighed. "Just the guys. Being guys and winding me up."

"So which one was it Munch or Elliot? Those are the only two that can get under your skin the quickest."

She sighed. "Munch. You really don't want to know."

"You're not being arraigned in court by Alex, so it couldn't have been that bad," Casey said laughing as she began to rub Olivia's back trying to ease the tension.

She sighed. "Not even, 'You're having twins? God help us if that's so. The world can barely handle one Novak and one Benson to have two babies by them. We wouldn't have a clue what hit us.' And, I beg of you, don't blame the messenger."

Casey started laughing so hard tears started to fall from her eyes.

"Yeah, that's Munch for you. Can we not talk about it right now?" she asked, pulling the food toward them.

"If you want, honey, but why is that bothering you so bad? This coming from the man who asked, if he purchased a video camera, could he be our camera man for private exploits, then when we both yelled no he mumbled something about a conspiracy."

She smiled a bit. "I don't know. I guess I'm just worried and overprotective...a little overwhelmed by the news right now. We both knew it could happen, but until it was confirmed, I didn't see it."

"Honey, I'm supposed to be the one with the raging hormones all over the place, not you. Just relax. We'll handle this like we have every other obstacle that has presented itself to us. One day at a time."

She nodded, rubbing Casey's stomach. "Okay. Let's eat. I love you," she said, kissing her deeply. "How have you been feeling?"

"Except for the stabbing pain here and there I'm great. Just bored to death because there is nothing on TV as always and every time I start to walk the halls the nurses have a heart attack. Oh and I'm starving again."

She laughed, kissing her again. "Looks like the three of you have a healthy appetite. Maybe we could just walk around the room? Did you want to get changed first?"

"I guess. I would love to get out of this gown. But see if, that since you're here, they'll let me wander downstairs or something not just in this small room, please?"

Olivia kissed her cheek quickly. "Will do." She said as Casey walked into the bathroom to change while she walked out to catch a nurse. "Excuse me?"

"Yes can I help you?"

"I'm with Casey Novak. If I'm with her, is it okay if we take a little walk? She can only watch so much TV."

"I understand that, but she is to limit her time on her feet."

"It wouldn't have to be for very long."

"No more than ten minutes until she sees the doctor in the morning. You must take a wheel chair with you though. If you don't then you can't take her out of the room."

Olivia nodded. "I was about to ask about the wheelchair. Is there one nearby?"

"Yes, it's right over here." The nurse said opening the door and removing a wheelchair. "When you're done, please return it to this room."

Olivia nodded, taking it. "Thank you," she said wheeling it into the room where Casey was sitting on the bed waiting. "Ten minutes and I've been ordered to take this with us. We can't go far."

"God I hate this," Casey muttered without thinking and seeing the look on Olivia's face she quickly explained. "I don't hate being pregnant, honey. I'm thrilled that we are finally getting a chance to have our family. I hate the restrictions that are being placed on me. You know I'm a mover."

Olivia nodded. "You always have been. Incredibly resilient, strong, balanced, beautiful, sexy, smart, sweet, kind..." she listed as Casey got to her feet and walked out beside her. "Just try not to go too fast, okay?"

"You really know how to flatter a woman there, detective," Casey said as she slowed her pace.

Olivia took one of her hands, squeezing it gently. "Yeah, but as far as everything's gone, is this really so bad? Considering what it means for us?" she asked with a smile.

"Not at all, baby, not at all."

"Good. Maybe when we get back to the room we could discuss a few names? Then tomorrow we could look on the Internet for doubling our necessities?"

"That sounds great, but I really don't want to jinx us. We are already running into problems and I'm only two months along. I would like to wait for about four months along or possibly later. I hope you don't mind, honey."

Olivia shook her head, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "It's okay. I just want us to try not to dwell on a negative outcome is all. Should we turn around now, head back?"

"I don't want to, but we better. Besides I am ready to eat I am starving again. If this keeps up I'm going to be as big as a house and never regain my figure after I have the twins."

Olivia smiled. "Oh, you'll regain your figure. If I have to cuff you to the bed and work about 460 calories a day from you," she said with a smile. Casey looked at her confused. "One of our...favorite past times in bed burns approximately 330 calories in 30 minutes, so if you double it..." she whispered into her ear. "Why do you think I'm in such great shape?"

"You are incorrigible I swear," Casey said blushing as she realized what Olivia was talking about.

She smiled. "Sorry, but you seemed a little worried. I figured that was one way to take off the baby weight. Are you okay walking or would you like to sit down?"

"I want to keep walking. Apparently, I'm going to be doing a lot of sitting in the near future. To be honest, I am worried about the baby weight. I've always had an athletic body and as irrational as it is, I have a fear that if I can't lose the weight you won't love me anymore."

Olivia stopped, pulling her close. "That's not true. You are going to change. Your body has to...expand to accommodate the twins, but that doesn't mean it's going to change my overall perception of you. If anything, I'll love you even more. I promise," she said, kissing her hand and then her cheek.

"I know, honey. It's just a fear I have probably one every pregnant woman has. Hope you're ready for the many more to come too," Casey whispered as she laid her head on Olivia's shoulder enjoying the comfort of being in her arms brought her.

Olivia sighed, leaning against the wall with her. "Well, you tell me all of them and I'll do my best to make them go away, okay? Now, let's get back before someone has a fit."

"And eat," Casey added.

"Yes," she said with a laugh, "and eat. Now let's go."

Casey walked in and settled on the bed while Olivia fixed the food. When she had finished eating and relaxed she started feeling her eyelids droop. As hard as she tried she couldn't fight off the sleep anymore. "Baby, I'm really tired so I'm going to nap. You can go home if you like. You don't have to stay here."

She smiled, lying beside her and wrapping her arms around her. She kissed her head. "I know, but you seem to sleep better when I'm here, so I'll stay, if you'll let me."

"That's fine," Casey muttered as she began to drift off to sleep.

Olivia got up, turning off the lights before walking back over and slipping in beside her, her arm wrapped protectively over Casey's stomach. "I won't let anybody hurt you or your Mommy. Just you wait."

* * *

Casey woke when she heard the door open and raised her head to see her OBGYN entering the room. She started to gently wake Olivia when she realized that she was already awake. "You ok?"

Olivia sighed. "Yeah, just stepped out to make a call for us," she walked over and sat by the bed, not daring to meet her eyes. Nightmares had plagued her all night. Her genes were part of these two little innocent lives. In a way she hated to risk it and knew that the possibility was slim, but still. "I'm sorry."

"Good news ladies, Casey, you can be discharged all your tests came back fine. I am going to put you on temporary light duty which means no prolonged time on your feet and try to limit your stress as best as possible. I'm going to schedule you for a monthly appointment where we will reassess you. Please be prepared for bed rest in the future though. Do you ladies have any questions for me?"

"Do you have an estimate of how much time per day or just when she gets tired?

"I would say no more than four hours a day and I would prefer that to be at intervals. If she feels she could do a little more than no more than about six hours again at intervals, but do not push yourself."

Olivia nodded. "I'll make sure she doesn't. She's...working with an old friend of mine. I'll fill her in too. Now, we were told, with twins, it's not uncommon to feel pain, but just how much are we talking about? If she feels pain, how is she to know if it's a normal occurrence or not?"

"There's really no way and please don't feel bad if you have every new pain checked out. You are a high risk pregnancy, therefore, you need to be overly cautious. If it's during business hours just come to the office and I will examine you. If not come here and be checked out. It's better safe than sorry."

Olivia nodded. "I agree, Case. I know how scared you are because I am too, but we have every right to be. Though, call me crazy for my intuition, but I have a feeling things are going to turn out like we want this time," she said with a smile.

Casey smiled knowing and understanding Olivia's intuition or gut instincts as they usually called it. She wished she could count on one hand how many time Olivia's gut instincts had saved her or one of the guys. How when one of them saying they had a gut feeling things were going to go bad put them on an even higher guard. She couldn't think of one time their gut instincts had been wrong.

Olivia kissed her cheek. "Should we get ready to go? We can go home or swing by your office first. Is there anything that can be done about the pain?" she asked quickly as almost an afterthought.

"Sorry ladies no," the doctor said as he handed Olivia the paperwork she needed to leave. "I wouldn't suggest jumping back into work today. Go home and rest one more day."

"Thanks doctor, but I want to stop by the office. I would like to fill my coworker in and pick up some files I can work on at the house. That is all I plan to do."

Olivia grabbed the pen and filled out the paperwork, handing it back to her. "Ready to go?" she asked, grabbing the shoulder strap of the laptop bag and slinging it over one shoulder as she grabbed the bag with Casey's other clothes and reached for her hand.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	15. Passing the Reins

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 15: Passing the Reins**

Casey and Olivia walked into the DA's office and stopped by Branch's office to brief him on everything that had happened. Everyone agreed that Alex would immediately start taking over all cases including the one that Casey was currently prosecuting. Casey would strictly be doing office work and filing motions. If, at any time, she needed to go home she could leave. Once she was placed on bed rest, she would do whatever work she could from home. The next stop was seeing Alex.

"Hey Alex," Casey said as she walked in followed by Olivia. "How are you?"

She looked up, smiling. "I'm doing good. Please sit. How are you two?"

Olivia stood beside Casey. "We're good. She's not quite on bed rest yet, but is under orders to be on her feet from only four to six hours at the max. Though she might try to push it, don't let her. She's supposed to get checked out for any pain. If that happens, call me. Has Branch called you about her cases?"

She shook her head. "Not yet, but I expect to get the cal soon if you two are here now."

"Just to prepare you," Casey said leaning back and relaxing some, "from here on out, you are to take over all the cases, including the one I'm currently prosecuting and before you say anything this is an agreement between me and Branch. I will do all the office work and the filing of the motions. That way I can be sure to limit my time on my feet. I will also secure any warrants the guys need too. When I am put on bed rest, I will do what I can for you from the house. Does that sound like a deal you can work with or are willing to work with I hope? Especially since Branch already said that's the way it's going to go."

Alex nodded. "Yes, that's fine, but how do you expect to secure warrants if you can't find anyone in their offices? Just a scenario as it's been known to happen."

"I'll call ahead of time. If I can't locate anyone, how about I call you and leave you to the leg work of tracking one down if I don't feel like running the courthouse? I am allowed up to six hours on my feet."

Alex nodded. "Reasonable." She turned. "Olivia?"

She nodded. "Yeah, she's usually not one to be still for long, but with this, she's going to have to be soon, so she'll want to be up and about as much as possible."

"I will do everything I can to make sure that she doesn't overdo it. I promise you, Olivia."

Olivia nodded, smiling. "Good. Casey, is there anything else you need here or would you like to go home?"

"There are a couple of case files I need for upcoming trials that I would like to start looking over if that's ok with you Alex?"

She nodded. "That's fine. Just tell me the names and I'll get them for you to take home."

"Sure, I need the Bowers, Bazile, and Price files please. I will get started preparing for motions and everything for you. If you need anything or have any current questions about the Lawrence trial, you can reach me at home or on my cell phone."

Alex dug in the file cabinet and retrieved the files, putting them in a briefcase and handing it to Casey. "Here you are," she said with a smile.

Olivia placed a hand on Casey's shoulder. "Now, let's get you home and into a nice warm bath. Does that sound okay?"

"That sounds wonderful," Casey said as she stood and headed for the door she stopped just as she reached the door and turned around to face Alex. "Alex, I want you to know you are welcomed at our house anytime. It doesn't have to be job-related. As a matter of fact, why don't you come by for dinner tomorrow night? I would love for you to join us."

"I...I...are you sure?" she asked, stunned.

"I'm positive," Casey said with a smile before turning to Olivia. "Honey, let's head home. I want that bath and I really want to talk to you."

Olivia smiled, taking her hand as they walked out.

* * *

Walking into the apartment, Olivia headed straight for the bathroom to start the water. Once that was finished, she stood in the doorway of their room as Casey undressed. "So you said you wanted to talk? About what exactly?"

"I want to know what had you so upset at the hospital. I think I have a clue. Actually I'm pretty sure myself, but I want to hear it from you," Casey said as she walked up to Olivia smiling as she watched Olivia's eyes darken as she took her naked form in.

Olivia grabbed her shoulders gently. "It's just...you better for them than me, genetically. What did I have? A chronic alcoholic mother and a rapist for a father who I never knew? What am I supposed to do i-if those tendencies ever come up?"

"What are you going to do if those tendencies ever arise in you? I'll tell you Olivia Benson. Absolutely nothing because you are nothing like your mother and there isn't one thing you have in common with the man who fathered you short of DNA. DNA DOES NOT dictate who we become. I don't care how many scientists do those studies, it's a damn lie. What I do know will happen is that you will become even more protective and slightly more possessive and not in a bad way. I know you will be the best mother you can be even though the job will demand a lot of your time. I also know that at no time will our children ever fear you or doubt your love for them. That's what I know. So stop those thoughts now."

"How do you know that, Casey?" She walked over to sit in the bed. "What if all this stuff skips a generation?"

"Because I know you honey and that's all that matters. Never, in all the time I have been with you, have I ever once been sacred of my safety or what you might do to me. If anything, and you want to know the truth, I feel safer with you by my side than I do without you by my side. We can't predict what our children will do when they grow up. All that we can do is raise them of the best of our abilities and that is exactly what we will do."

Olivia sighed again. "I know these seem...stupid, but I do worry. I don't have the signs in me, but that's not to say..." she trailed off by continuing to stare at her very naked form, but she knew, in reality, Casey wouldn't care. "Casey, let me ask you a question: do you think you'll feel self-conscious once they begin to grow?" she asked walking up to her. "I'd like an honest answer. That way I'll know how much more support you'll want beforehand. Not saying you won't look even more beautiful," she added, hoping to save her ass and cover the possible fight that might ensue.

"So are you worried about how bad I'm going to look when I start to show?"

Olivia turned around, grabbing her shoulders. "No. There's absolutely, positively no way you could ever look bad to me. I promise. I just wondered if you were worried about it because you shouldn't be. I'm going to love you even more than I already do. Nothing is going to stop that."

"I know and yes I am worried about. I know its an irrational fear like I said before, but I'm sure its one that every pregnant female has. I have no clue how to erase it or if I can."

She shook her head. "It's not that irrational. It's a whole new experience. To tell you the truth, I'll encourage you in whatever you want to do after they're born, but what's still there is proof that I was there. That they're part of us, not just you," she said, smiling as she rested a hand on her stomach as she dropped to her knees and began to kiss her stomach and rub it gently, "and that's one of the most precious things I have. You and these two. I love you so much, Casey Benson."

Casey felt tears start forming in her eyes at the love that Olivia was showing them. It was moments like these that reminded her how right she was when she fell in love with Olivia.

"I love you too baby." Casey whispered as she ran her hands through Olivia's hair. "Now, baby ,if you don't mind, I want to go soak in the tub. Preferably alone because I know how we are when the two of us are naked. Don't get me wrong. I love you and want you more now than I did before, but I've had enough close calls for this week. Why don't you go to the station or go do whatever it is what you want to do?"

Olivia stood back up, hugging her lightly. "How about I just lay here in bed? I could actually use a nap. You're not the only one who's been stressed this week," she kissed her gently on the lips, then walked over and sat down, discarding numerous items, including her badge, gun. jacket and shoes. "If you need anything, just holler."

"I will," Casey said over her shoulder as she headed to the bathroom knowing that if she stood there much longer she would be throwing caution to the wind and make love to Olivia.

Olivia smiled, settling back against the pillows, falling into a light sleep. She'd recognized the look in Casey's eyes all too well, but she was right. They had had enough scares this week already.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: tummer22, ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	16. In the Arms of Two Loves

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 16: In the Arms of Two Loves**

Casey pulled the steaks out of the refrigerator where they had been marinating all day. Olivia had already put the potatoes on the grill and the salad was soaking in the dressing. Even though she was the one that had invited Alex to dinner and was determined she come she was nervous as hell.

"Honey, the steaks are ready. Are you sure the house is clean enough?"

Olivia walked over, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her cheek. "Yes, I'm sure. It's probably the cleanest it's ever been. Are you sure you're okay with this, sweetie? You're shaking. Do you want to sit for a few minutes? You never did tell me why you invited her in the first place."

"No I'm fine," Casey whispered leaning into her. "I'm just really embarrassed about my reasoning behind inviting her."

"Aww, sweetheart, just tell me. I'm really curious. Please?" she begged with puppy dog eyes.

"Another irrational fear," Casey said as she buried her head in Olivia's shoulder, unable to look at her. "I want her to see know and realize that you're with me and not to try to make a move on you and vice versa. I know you would never cheat, that's not you, but me, knowing I'm going to get big and, come on, let's agree she is an attractive woman that you will wonder away."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "I understand that, but even she knows I'm not a cheater. Yes, she is attractive, but I won't do anything. I'll never leave like that. I love you too much. Listen, yes, you are right about you getting...bigger, but they're _our_ kids and I swear to you right now where I stand, I will never walk out on you. You and the kids, I need you. To take care of. To need me as much as I need you, more even. I love you." She kissed her once, twice, a third time, then lost count as she wrapped her arms more securely around her and ran a hand into her hair, whispering her love. "Okay?"

"God, I love you woman," Casey whispered lost in the feel of Olivia touching her. "So you're not mad? If you are, in my defense, I did say prepare for some irrational fears."

Olivia smiled, hugging her closer, rubbing her arms. "I love you too. No, I'm not. You're right, all women get like this, especially with their first child. It's okay," her hands moved down to rest on Casey's stomach. Sighing, she kissed a spot behind Casey's right ear that always made her feel safe. "I promise. I'll love you no matter what."

"I know. Now you need to get the steaks on the grill and try not to burn them." Casey said laughing as she, reluctantly, removed herself from Olivia's arms. "Alex should be here in about ten minutes."

Olivia smiled, walking to put the steaks on the grill on Medium heat to start. Then she turned, watching Casey. She knew they wouldn't get much time like this once the twins were born. It was nice to just have a quiet dinner. The reason Casey invited Alex did make sense, but both she and Alex knew that while the embers were bound to simmer every once in a while, Olivia would never act on them. First loves were hard to forget and Alex Cabot was most definitely no exception to the rule.

Casey could feel Olivia's eyes on her and glanced over her shoulder giving her a smile. As if they were one, in essence they were, she could read every one of Olivia's thoughts. She knew Olivia was thinking once the twins were born, times like these were going to be few and far between.

Nights like these needed to be treasured. She was letting her mind wander to Alex when she heard a knock on the door. She mouthed 'I love you' to Olivia before heading to answer the door. "Alex, please come in," Casey said as she opened the door and stepped to the side to let her in.

Olivia walked over, still keeping an eye on the steaks.

"Hi, thanks for the invite," Alex said with a smile, "They smell great."

Olivia smiled. "Yes, they should be if I don't burn them. I'm not the best cook!"

"And before you say something, Alex, I have tried and tried to teach her," Casey said laughing as she closed the door, "but you know as well as I do how hard it is to teach this woman anything."

Alex smiled, nodding. "Yes, I know."

Olivia raised a brow, laughing. "Are you sure you want me in charge of the meat then, Case? Alex, what would you like to drink?"

"Diet Coke if you've got it. If not, some water please."

Olivia nodded, walking over and grabbing one, as well as turning the steaks over and setting them on High for a bit. She walked back and handed it to her.

"So twins huh?" Alex asked as she turned to face Olivia. She knew, when Casey invited her for dinner last night she had an underlying reason to it, and she was willing to bet it was to make sure she knew Olivia was spoken for. Which, to her, was useless. No matter what she felt for Olivia it was irrelevant because she was not the type of woman to destroy a family and she was more than willing to sit through these dinners on a regular basis to prove that to Casey.

"Yeah twins. We will most certainly have our hands full," Casey said smiling.

Olivia smiled, wrapping an arm around Casey's shoulders. "I still think we'll be okay. We might have our moments, but... Hey, Case, being as I'm not that good of a cook, what do you say you go check on the steaks?"

Casey looked up at Olivia and smiled. She wanted to have a moment alone with Alex. If she was a betting woman, it was to tell Alex about Casey's fear and that they would be limiting their time together. She knew, short of leaving SVU to stay away from Alex, there wasn't anything Olivia wouldn't do for her family. "It might be safer that way," Casey said as she walked off toward the grill.

Olivia smiled, walking over to the couch. "Sit please. So, as deductive as you naturally are, I think it's safe to say you probably know there's more to tonight than she said?"

"I figured as much," Alex said as she took a seat. "I hope she realizes I'm not a home wrecker. That's not me and you would never leave your family. I can say a lot of things about you, but a cheater isn't one of them. I had to tell you that night in the room. It's ok. It's time for you to move on. I understood."

She nodded. "I sensed when you left the hospital room after bringing us our food you were a bit envious, but to tell the truth – and I've told Casey this – even for a second, I did wish it was the other way around and, even though we're not together anymore, I hope we don't have to ignore the memories."

"I did wish it was me. I thought that if it hadn't been for Zapata, it would have been me there, but then again we never know what happens. Even if Zapata didn't come along, who's to say we would've worked out? Maybe it was written in the stars to be with Casey. As for the memories, I hope so too because they are good memories actually some of the best I've ever had, but if I need to for you and Casey I will."

Olivia sighed, resting a hand on her shoulder. "I don't think even Casey would want us to forget it. Most of the memories - before Casey - were with you. And I just...I never want to forget that, or you. A little of what's left will always be there, but that doesn't mean it needs to be acted upon. You made me realize there was more to my life than just catching creeps and helping people. That there was someone who could love me for all my faults. Just like you still do. Like Casey does more powerfully."

Casey leaned against the wall and listened to Olivia. She felt her heart swell hearing her tell Alex how much she loved her. She wasn't intentionally spying on them. She had been on her way back in when she heard them talking and stopped. Once she stopped where she was there was no way to avoid hearing what was being said. She did make a mental note to thank Alex because if it wasn't for her Olivia wouldn't be the woman she had become.

Olivia turned her head. "Are you okay, Case? Do you need me?"

"No I'm fine," Casey said as she walked around the corner from where she was. She had forgotten how Olivia could always tell when she was nearby. "I'm sorry honey. I wasn't spying on you, I swear. I was coming to tell you that the steaks should be done shortly and you two were talking. I didn't want to be rude and interrupt."

Olivia stood, walking over and hugging her tightly. "I know, baby, but you don't need to worry. I promise. Are you guys feeling okay?"

"We are fine I promise. Now please try to relax and let's have a great dinner. Oh and Alex, no work talk at the table."

She looked over, giving her a thumbs up. "Got it," she said with a smile.

Olivia smiled too, kissing Casey's cheek. "Those beautiful green eyes. I hope I get to look into two more pairs."

"Alex, I need you to do something with her please," Casey said as she playfully smacked Olivia. "I swear since I told her I'm pregnant she's even worse than before. Which is a good thing, but honey let's face it you can't say no to these eyes. Two more pairs of green ones and you're screwed."

She smiled. "Yeah, yeah. Okay, fine, I'll leave you alone unless you say," she said, walking back over to sit beside Alex. "Now, what else do you want to talk about?"

"You heard the boss Liv, no shop talk so how about those Giants?" Alex said laughing.

Olivia couldn't help laughing. "I have missed you so much!" she said, hugging her tightly.

"Alright you two," Casey said with a smile as she watched the two of them fully reconnect as friends at last, "the steaks should be about done. Why don't you two start heading into the dining room and I will bring everything in?"

Olivia nodded, standing and offering Alex a hand up before walking into the dining room to sit down.

"Liv, if it's all right with you, I'm going to help Casey with the food?"

"Perfect." She sighed, wondering how tonight would go. Alex and Casey were two very different people and she'd always felt protected by Alex, something she'd hoped to feel with Casey, but hadn't yet. And she was strong, so what did Olivia need protection from?

"Hey Casey, let me help you with the food," Alex said as she entered the kitchen.

"Thanks Alex, but I've got it. Please go sit and talk with Liv."

"Look, the food is my reason to get you alone. I want you to know that I will not interfere with your relationship. What we had is over and has been over."

Thank you, Alex. That means a lot. I greatly appreciate it."

"Now on to more important things."

Casey looked at her funny. "I thought I said no talk about work."

"It's not about work. It's about Olivia."

"What about her?" Casey said taking a defensive stance.

"Keep a close eye on her. You have to protect her, watch out for her."

"Protect her? Olivia is a cop or have you forgotten it?"

"I haven't, but you have to protect Olivia from herself. She has gone through a lot. That undercover job at the prison almost broke her. If it wasn't for Fin and a marine, she probably wouldn't be here right now. There have been other cases as well. I know I don't have to tell you the cases they work because you do it too. Olivia will act like she comes out unscathed, but she's not."

"..I'd read about the undercover job, but I-I didn't know she was the officer involved. How bad is it? What happened to her?"

"That's for her to tell not me Casey. But know it was bad so prepare yourself ok?" Alex said as she picked up the bowl of salad. 'Now, let's get a smile on our face and get out there before Liv thinks you are killing me."

Casey walked out, setting the food on the table before sitting next to Olivia and kissing her cheek.

Olivia looked up, surprised. "What was that for?"

"Because I love you." Casey said as she sat everything on the table before taking her seat "Now eat up everyone."

Olivia smiled. "Should be wonderful. After all, I didn't cook it, not really. So anybody have a topic that's deemed appropriate?"

Dinner went through without any complications. Alex and Olivia shared a few stories of how Branch acted when they revealed their relationship to him and how some people were shocked to discover they weren't already a couple. Casey and Olivia shared similar stories with Alex, but it was more along the lines they were shocked that Olivia actually started dating again. By the end of the meal, everyone was laughing so hard they had tears streaming down their faces.

Olivia rested her hand on Casey's leg, rubbing lightly. "..Am I allowed to discuss that night?"

"Which night is that, baby?"

She looked at Casey, then to Alex. "..Not about you, Case. Alex...I know I shouldn't. I know that it...it might be raw, but...just between the three of us?"

"Honey, if you want to feel free, if not, that's fine too. If you would prefer to just talk to Alex about it, that's fine. Go grab a beer and you two go to the living room. I'll get everything cleaned up that should give you plenty of time to talk. Your choice."

"I agree with Casey Liv."

Olivia stood, grabbing a beer from the refrigerator, beckoning Alex to the couch where she now was. "Look, I know it's not the easiest thing to-to even think about...now, but th-the n-night you w-were. Damn it! I can't even get it out."

"The night I was shot."

She nodded hesitantly. "But if you don't think you can..."

"Olivia what is it that you need to know or want to know? I've had time to deal with it and it still hurts, but I can talk about it."

"..Okay. Well, how in the world did you manage to stay in town that night to let us know you were okay? Why do it? Why not get out of town right away?"

"That's what the Marshalls wanted, but not what I wanted. I had to, no needed to, let you and Elliot know I was alive. You were there applying pressure, doing everything you could to save me. I couldn't leave letting you think you failed. I knew that would have destroyed you more than knowing I was alive and out there."

Olivia nodded, taking a sip of her beer. "Sip?" she offered. "You're right. It would've been much worse. But why was I the only one crying that night?"

"No thanks and I did cry just not in front of you. I knew at that point I had to be the strong one. But believe me when they shut that door and drove off I lost it."

Olivia set the bottle on the table in front of her, resting her hand over Alex's. "Yeah, you...your eyes...I'm sorry that I couldn't do more..."

"Listen to me and listen well Olivia," Alex said as she gently moved Olivia's face to so she could look in her eyes. "You did everything you could. If you hadn't done what you did I wouldn't be here right now. I need you, Casey needs you, to let go of the guilt you have carried over the years. If not for me, do it for your two children. We both know how bad guilt can eat at you. Please let it go."

She nodded, moving in closer to hug her tightly, crying on her shoulder, just like she wished she could've done that night. "It was just...so hard. You were dead, them alive and whisked away, only to come back for the trial. I... I let the most important person, at the time, in my life down. I felt l-like I didn't deserve my weapon or shield. Then, Casey...she bided her time, opened me back up and I've never regretted anything between us, I still don't, but I was afraid my heart would choose my old life, but I was wrong."

"That's simple to explain," Alex said as she held Olivia tight. "It's like I said that night, you may not have realized it yet, but you weren't mine anymore. Your heart no longer belonged to me. It belonged to Casey. Somewhere, down the line, without you realizing it, you fell for her and that is fine believe me Liv. I'm so thankful you found her. My biggest fear when I saw you that night and saw how you looked at her was that you would deny yourself the happiness you deserved. That was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To still love you and let you go. As much as it hurt, I am thankful that I did. Do you understand?"

"..Yes..." she said, through her tears. "C-Casey..." she whispered.

"I'll get her," Alex said as she stood and headed for the kitchen. She smiled when she saw Casey sitting at their breakfast bar reading a book. She was really thankful that they had such a good foundation and the trust that they had. "Casey, you need to get in there to her. She needs you."

Casey shot off the stool and headed straight for the couch. She quickly pulled Olivia into her arms as she whispered, "It's ok baby I'm here."

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered as she headed to the door.

Casey just simply nodded and allowed her to leave, though she made a note to let Alex know she didn't blame her. She knew this was coming.

"Wait!" Olivia said her voice hoarse. "Thank you, Alex. I-I needed this," she said. "C-Can we do this again? Well, not this, but..."

"I would love to, but that is for you and Casey to discuss. Just let me know," she said as she grabbed her coat from the hook by the door and made her exit.

Olivia rested her head on Casey's shoulder. "..I'm sorry."

"Don't be, baby, don't be," Casey whispered as she held her tight.

Olivia nodded, curling into her, sitting in her lap. "What do you want to do now?"

"Let's just go to bed and hold each other," Casey said as she helped Olivia to her feet and to the bedroom.

Olivia walked back with her to the bedroom, stripping and pulling on a light nightshirt before pulling down the covers and getting into bed. "Come here, sweetie."

Casey quickly changed and joined Olivia in the bed she knew that tonight she needed the comfort of being in her arms and with that came the knowledge that everything was going to be ok. "I love you," she whispered as she felt Olivia's breaths start to even out.

"I love you too," she said, laying her head on her chest, wrapping her arms around her. "I wish I felt better. I wouldn't waste this time on myself."

"Go to sleep. We will discuss this tomorrow."

She nodded, snuggling into her. "What day is it tomorrow?"

"Friday now just relax and sleep."

She nodded, one hand going down to rub Casey's stomach as she sat up, pulled the covers back and bent down to kiss it. Twice. Then she laid back in her arms, covering them again as she turned toward her, kissing her gently for a few seconds, nuzzling her neck. "That's better. I love you, Case," she murmured as she drifted off.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	17. New Efforts

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 17: New Efforts**

Olivia rolled over, seeing Casey's side of the bed was empty and felt cold. She sighed, rolling her eyes and figuring she was probably in the kitchen, but as she left the room, passing the bathroom, she heard her inside. The door was cracked and light was coming from the nightlight above the sink. She pushed it open, seeing Casey kneeling and leaning over the toilet. "Great, morning sickness," she whispered to herself as she grabbed a rag from below the sink, wet it, as well as get a glass of water, before she knelt beside Casey and held her hair back before resting a hand on her shoulder, "Casey."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Casey whispered as the next bout of nausea hit her. "I was trying to let you get your last hour of sleep in."

Olivia rubbed her back. "It's okay. How long have you been up?"

"Not long. I rolled over and the next thing I knew I had to get in here. Why don't you go lay back down, baby, get you some extra sleep? You never know how your day is going to go."

Olivia shook her head. "Forget it. I'm not leaving you here sick when I don't have to go in to work yet," she kissed her shoulder. "Besides, I'd never sleep well anyway."

"There's no reason," Casey started to say and stopped quickly to throw up. She had been trying to hold this bout back, but was unsuccessful. She hated Olivia seeing her like this, "for the two of us to be up," she finished saying when she finally stopped being sick and felt as if she could speak.

"No. I'd rather be here with you."

Casey just nodded as she leaned against Olivia. As much as she didn't want her seeing her like this, she had to admit, it was more comfortable to lean against Olivia and not the tile wall. She closed her eyes as the next bout of nausea hit her. How was she going to survive the next seven months of this? Then again, if she stayed sick she wouldn't have to worry about putting on weight.

"It's okay, sweetie. Here have a drink," she said handing her the glass of water

Casey took the glass of water and took a small sip. "Thank you."

Olivia took it from her, setting it on the floor beside them. "Any time. Do you want to sit here for a bit?"

"Please, at least long enough for my stomach to settle down."

Olivia sighed, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her head. "We can sit here as long as you want, ok?"

"Thanks," Casey muttered as she leaned against Olivia. She closed her eyes and willed her stomach to settle down. After what seemed like an eternity, she slowly pulled away from Olivia and looked at her.

Olivia stroked her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"You are an excellent provider, partner, and you are going to be a wonderful mother. Thank you for that. I love you so much. I just wanted to tell you that."

Olivia bit her lip. "I love you too! Are you sure you're okay, baby?"

"I'm not sure. One minute I feel like crying my eyes out and the next I feel like fighting. I hate these damn hormones."

She frowned a bit. "Come here, baby," she said, opening her arms.

Casey quickly flew into Olivia's arms despite the fact that she felt like starting an argument with her. If they survived her pregnancy with raging hormones like these it would be a miracle. She was pretty sure Olivia should be nominated for saint hood by the time she delivered. "You know, honey, I will understand if you want to escape for a few hours or stay at the precinct over night at times, if this is any indication of how it's going to be."

She nodded. "I understand, but honey, you're sick. I want to take care of you. I don't want anything to happen at night when I'm not around," she said, wrapping her arms around her. "Especially after what's already happened."

"I know baby. I'm just giving you that as an out ok?" Casey said as she slowly started to stand up. "I guess it's time for us to start getting ready for work. You can go first since I believe it will take me a little longer than usual."

Olivia nodded, kissing her gently before shedding her clothes and stepping into the shower. Twenty minutes later, she walked into the bedroom and got dressed.

"Here's some coffee," Casey said as she entered their bedroom setting the cup on the chest of drawers. "Elliot called while you were in the shower to tell you he's running late."

Olivia nodded, pulling a shirt over her head and buttoning her jeans before clipping her badge on her belt and her gun on her side, before sipping the coffee. "Mmm thanks," she said with a smile, before pulling Casey to her for a kiss.

"Baby please," Casey said stopping Olivia from kissing her. "I'm sorry, but just to smell the coffee was making me sick to my stomach. I don't think I can handle tasting it on your lips."

Olivia nodded frowning and resting her head on her shoulder. "Sorry. I'll have to remember that."

"It's ok and besides who knows tomorrow it may not bother me. I went to eat a banana and couldn't stand the taste. I've eaten bananas every morning since I was in college. I guess it's time to prepare for the changes," she said with laughter as she could only imagine what else they were about to endure.

Olivia smiled, pulling on her socks and shoes, then her jacket.

"God, I love you in that jacket," Casey growled out as she watched Olivia put her jacket on. It should be a crime for a woman to look that good in a jacket. "Now I think it will be best if I get in there and shower, a very cold shower, before we are both extremely late."

Olivia nodded. "Maybe tonight if you're feeling well enough...?"

"Oh yeah," Casey said as she went into the shower and got ready for work.

When she came out, Olivia was not in the bedroom which was probably a good thing for her. She quickly grabbed her black pant suit since she knew she would be sitting at a desk all day and not having court. Once dressed, she went in search of Olivia.

Olivia was standing in the kitchen, a peeled banana in her hand for Casey as she turned, nearly inhaling one herself.

Casey laughed seeing Olivia standing there holding a banana for her. She did often have to wonder about her memory at times like these, but then again she knew that at least eighty percent of the time she ran on auto pilot, especially when her mind was elsewhere."You want to tell me what's on your mind?"

Olivia pulled hers from her mouth, swallowing what was chewed, shaking her head. "Not now. Tonight or we'd never get into work. Here."

"Liv, you eat it," Casey said shaking her head as she grabbed an apple and her jacket. "See if you can get your mind back in the game, baby. I can't have you distracted at work. I need you too much."

She smiled, inhaling the second one, throwing the peels in the trash. "Okay, I promise I'll be careful."

"I know you will. Want to give me a lift to work?" Casey asked already knowing the answer.

Olivia nodded, extending her hand.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they were at her office. She kissed Casey's cheek. "Have a good day, okay? Maybe we can go to dinner."

"We'll see," Casey said as she got of the car, "be careful." She reminded Olivia before heading into her office building hoping that Alex hadn't left yet she really wanted to talk to her.

Alex looked up, seeing Casey at her door. "Casey, come in," she said with a smile. "Sit."

"Good morning, Alex," Casey said as she took the seat opposite of her. "How long have you've been here?"

"Just got here not ten minutes ago. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Casey said laughing. "Remember desk duty here. I can only file motions and do research for you and that's it. What is it with everyone today? You're distracted and so is Liv. What aren't you guys telling me?"

She sighed. "Nothing, really."

"'Nothing really' is not an answer, Alex Cabot, now why is everyone distracted?"

She sighed again. "What I mean is, nothing happened that you need to worry about. Would you like to know what we talked about? Why she was crying when I left last night?"

"If you want to share, sure, although I think it was about the night you got shot. That has always been a difficult time for her."

She nodded. "Exactly. The night I was shot, I would've bled out on the street if Olivia hadn't done all that she did. It was...assumed that I died. I refused to leave the city with the US Marshalls until I spoke with Olivia. I had to tell her I was alive, that her effort wasn't in vain."

"From how she was when I first started with the unit I would have to say that was for the best. There were times she was …well trust me it wasn't pretty," Casey said not willing to share what she knew without Olivia's knowledge. "Little by little, she pulled herself together."

"No, you did. There was no way she could've done it alone."

"The squad helped, believe me. There were times Elliot was a saint I swear. Don't you ever tell him I said that, you hear me? Can you imagine how he would act once he knew? Lord help us."

Alex laughed a bit. "Yeah, that's true, but Casey there really is nothing to worry about, that I'm aware of. Talk to Olivia if you need to. Now, do you have those motions ready for me? The ones you took home last night?"

"They are right here," Casey said as she reached into her briefcase for them "By the way I want to say thank you."

Alex placed them on her desk. "For what?"

"If it wasn't for you, Olivia wouldn't know what love was like and would still be the detective I've heard so much about. Married to her work and believing she wasn't worthy of anyone. You changed that and thank you."

Alex stood, walking around to lean on the front of her desk. "We didn't mean for it to happen. We worked well together and found something else along the way. Something that was...powerful, pure. But what you and Olivia have is much stronger. I will never come between that."

"I know that Alex. But I will warn you like I did Olivia, I apparently have ranging hormones now. There's no telling what I may accuse you two of. Hell, this morning I couldn't handle Olivia kissing me. The smell of coffee made me sick."

She nodded. "That's understandable. Many women get that way during pregnancy. I guess I'll just have to warn her when you're having a bad day," she said, pushing her hot coffee away from Casey. "I promise not to take it personally."

"Thanks. Now, where are we and what do you need me to do boss?"

"First off, you can take the desk. Munch walked in minutes before you got here. Double rape-homicide case. Rape kits are being performed as we speak. Evidence was easily president on all three. We'll need warrants after the DNA is tested to search."

"Not a problem. Which judge is on call at the moment?" Casey asked walking around and sitting down

"Um. Petrovsky I believe."

"Very well, I'll get busy drafting the request. Just fill in the needed blanks when Munch or Fin get here and then get the warrant signed. You have court in an hour. Got everything you need?"

Alex grabbed the papers from the desk, as well as a few files from the cabinet. "I think so. You okay here? Need anything?"

"I'm good, go knock 'em dead."

She smiled. "You got it."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: CaseyBensonNovak, ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	18. The Sweetest of Sweets

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 18: The Sweetest of Sweets**

Casey leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes for a minute. She was tired, hungry, and had had some more shooting pains, but not as bad as before. Not to mention she had been stuck to the desk since she arrived.

The one time she was going to go to the court house to file a motion, she ran into Alex in the elevator. As soon as she told her what she was doing, she all but carried her back to the office. Once she had her seated again, she kindly pointed out if she wanted to ignore the doctor's rule fine, but think about Olivia and what it would do to her. That along with she would have to pack everything and leave the country if Olivia ever found out she let her go to the courthouse and something happened. To be honest, she was finally getting her life back and didn't want to move again.

She glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed it was almost lunch time and she hadn't heard from Olivia since she had dropped her off. She knew Munch had caught the new rape homicide and figured she was helping him out. She pulled her phone from her purse and quickly dialed Olivia. With any luck, she would be able to break away and have lunch here in the office.

Olivia yawned as she answered. "Benson."

"Sounds like someone is exhausted?"

She sighed. "Yeah well, chasing a suspect four blocks on foot will do that - no wait, two. Anyway, what about you? Bored out of your mind yet?"

"You have no clue," Casey said smiling. "Think you can break away for about an hour?"

"Of course. We just questioned them. Any requests for lunch?"

"I am craving a pizza with the works. Including the onions I can't stand. Think I can get that?"

"Mhm. I could go for that. Anything else?"

"Yeah, grab Alex something to eat too. I hope you know what she'd like. I haven't seen or heard from her since around eleven, but she should be coming back soon."

"Okay," she said with a sigh. "I'll pick her something up too," she said, a bit disheartened in hoping to spend a little time alone with her. "Wish it was just us."

Cragen walked out.

"Captain, is it okay if I break for lunch?"

"You've got an hour Benson."

She nodded. "All right. I'll pick up the food and be right there," she said as she hung up the phone.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, she had a two pizzas and a chicken sandwich and was standing outside the door. "Casey, I can't knock. My hands are full."

Casey stood and opened the door smiling when she saw the love of her life there with lunch. The things this woman did to keep her happy amazed her which is why she made it a point not to ask for a lot from her. "Hey baby," Casey said grabbing some items from Olivia, "I've missed you."

Olivia smiled, walking in to set the rest on her desk and wrapping her arid around her. "I've missed you too. Alex, not here yet?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes.

"She called right before you got here. She is tied up in meeting and won't be here for a while. She just asked that I put her lunch back and to tell you thank you for getting her something.'

Olivia smiled, letting go and walking over to close the door before walking back over to hug her again. "I made a point of not drinking too much coffee just for you," she said. "So, I uh don't suppose I could steal a couple kisses? Nothing horribly discrediting, but I-I just...I miss you and-"

"It's a rough case," Casey whispered as she opened her arms to Olivia.

Olivia eagerly wrapped her arms around her, kissing her, lightly at first, then deepening it. "Casey..."

Casey moaned at the feel of Olivia's lips on her. It wasn't until that moment she hadn't realized how much she missed her."Liv," Casey husked out, "I heard Cragen say you only have an hour."

"So? We can...spend a few minutes like this, can't we?"

"We can spend all day like this," Casey moaned out.

Olivia rubbed her back, lifting her up to sit her on the desk, loving the feeling of Casey against her, but knew they had a time limit. "I love you, Case," she whispered.

"Love you too," Casey whispered as she rested her head against her shoulder wishing they both could escape for the day just so Olivia could hold her like this."Is that my pizza?"

She smiled. "Yes it is. Mine's a little smaller underneath it. And how are you guys doing by the way?" she asked as she pulled Casey around to the back of the desk to sit with her in her lap, pulling the pizzas toward them.

"We would be doing great if the waves of nausea would stop and whatever they are doing to cause those stabbing pains. They need to stop. Not to mention, I'm not sure if one minute I'm starving to death or so full that I feel like I've over eaten. The only problem is I haven't eaten anything."

Olivia hugged her, resting her head on her shoulder. "You probably just need to eat. Is the pain really bad?"

"Only once or twice the rest of the time it was better than the other day," Casey said with a mouthful of pizza and very unladylike.

Olivia sighed, taking a bite of her own, then another until she finished three pieces and just rested her hands on Casey's stomach.

"You know, the pain almost vanishes when you have your hand on my stomach. It's like they know there are safe when you're here."

Olivia wrapped her arms a little tighter. "Maybe they just know not to fight because Mommy carries."

"Right, cause you're such a bad ass," Casey said laughing. "Is that why I can look at you and tell you I want a strawberry sundae and I would have it in five minutes? Because No is always in your vocabulary."

She shook her head, kissing the back of Casey's. "No, I've...just learned not to take love for granted. Even though it was...very painful, it was a good lesson."

"I know baby," Casey said, settling against Olivia and closing her eyes.

Olivia relaxed a bit, though keeping her eyes on the clock, as she rubbed her stomach. "You two better be good for Mama, hear me?" she asked with a bit of a laugh.

"Honey, they don't listen which scares me. If they don't listen now, Lord, help us later in life."

"They're so little yet though, not even close to fully developed. Once they can hear I bet they will."

"They need to hurry it up," Casey whined. "Patience is not a virtue I have."

She smiled, kissing her cheek. "I think they're fine where they are. We'll miss this time alone once they're finally here."

"It's called nap time and bed time," Casey husked out as she spun around to straddle Olivia. "I plan to utilize every single second of everyone when they are here."

"I love that idea, but what if I come home exhausted and pass out?"

"I could always wake you up from your nap," Casey whispered into Olivia's ear as she nibbled her way down Olivia's neck.

She bit her lip as a moan caught in her throat. "Sweetie, I-I really need to get back to the station. bu-but could we continue this tonight?"

"Are you going to make it home tonight with the case?" Casey asked as she made her way across Olivia's chin to the other side of her neck

"I...I...yes. I'll t-tell um...uh...Cragen that I need my nights home…from now on. Damn it, Case!"

Casey pulled back and ran her fingers through Olivia's hair. "No baby, you stay 'til the job is finished. Don't ever let a victim suffer or not get the closure she needs because of me. That was wrong and I'm sorry. If you make it home tonight, we can finish this. If not, the second we can be alone, I'm yours."

"But after what's happened-I know you're right, but...I'd just hate for you to be alone and..." she hugged her closer.

"I know, but you have to let that stop being the reason why you put your job on the back burner. It's in the past and we need to leave it there. If something happens you'll be the second person I call, the first being an ambulance. If I get super lonely, I can come keep you and the guys company at the station. I'm pretty sure Alex wouldn't mind coming over and keeping me company. We do share some things in common. Our love for you and our desire to see you happy."

Olivia smiled, repositioning her in her lap and hugging her tightly. "I love you. But I really do need to get back."

"I don't have to like it, but I understand," Casey said with a slight pout on her face. "Besides, Alex should be back shortly and we need to go over some paperwork for the trial she starts next week. If you're still working I'll see if she can give me a lift home, if that's ok with you?"

Olivia stood up, Casey in her arms as she held her tight. "Okay, but I'll try to be able to."

"I love you and be careful."

"Always," she said, making her way out the door. "Love you too."

* * *

Olivia sighed, reentering the station, seeing Elliot sit down with a coffee. "Want some?"

She nodded, walking over and getting a cup and taking a long sip. "Ah, that's good. The smell of coffee makes Casey nauseous so..."

"Twins right?"

"Yes, what about them?"

"My first child was twins remember?' Elliot said as he smiled. "That, by far, had to be the worse pregnancy Kathy ever had. She was sick all the time. One minute she would want stuff she never ate before, the next asked me who the hell did I think she was for bring her that?"

She nodded. "Exactly. What did you do?"

"Best advice I can give is: go with the punches. One day you will be the greatest person that walked the face of the earth and the next the scum. Don't take everything she says and does to heart."

"Already there. How's the case?"

"At a damn standstill and if we don't find something soon, it doesn't look like we will be getting out of here tonight. While you were on lunch, had another rape homicide that Fin and Munch are at now."

She sighed. "Same MO?"

"Appears so. I'm waiting on Munch or Fin to confirm it."

She sighed again.

* * *

The case lasted long into the night and it was 3:30 before she trudged in the front door, closing it gently before kicking her shoes off and walking into the darkened bedroom. She set her gun and shield on the dresser, stripping to her underwear and slipping into bed, kissing Casey's shoulder and wrapping her arm around her.

"You ok?" Casey mumbled in her sleep.

Olivia kissed her cheek, pulling her close. "Just...exhausted. Glad to be home. Sorry it's so late."

"It's ok. You're safe. Love you," Casey mumbled as she rolled over putting a leg over Olivia's waist.

Olivia sighed, moaning a bit in remembering the many nights they were like this. She moaned, feeling the caged heat from Casey's center, but knew she shouldn't do anything, mainly because she was too tired to stay focused. She wrapped her arms around her. "Love you too."

"In the morning detective," Casey whispered as she kissed her cheek before burying her head into Olivia's neck and falling right back to sleep.

"Mhm," she said, cuddling her close and fell fast asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma, Kikilia14, tummer22 & Bkwrmchar

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	19. Lines

**WARNING: This chapter contains Adult Content.**

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 19: Lines**

Casey rolled out of the bed and headed for the shower. She had been up for the better part of an hour and gave up going back to sleep when the stabbing pains wouldn't stop. She had no clue what the twins were up to, but they were giving her hell. If she wasn't sick, then she was in pain. It was getting to the point that she was doing a countdown to when they were born just so it all would stop. She stopped long enough to glancing at her sleeping girlfriend. It had been after three when she finally got in and the events of the previous day were showing on her face even in her sleep. She had considered waking her up, but considering how long and late she worked she opted to let her sleep.

Olivia sighed in her sleep, knowing she would have to get up soon. She'd felt Casey get out of bed moments prior. She only hoped she wasn't sick again. They still hadn't made a follow-up appointment for her to see how everything was going. She rolled over and sat up in bed, throwing her legs over the side and waited for her to finish her shower. She would love a cup of coffee, but figured it was best to wait so it didn't make Casey feel sick again.

"Hey honey," Casey said as she walked back into the bedroom drying her hair. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She shook her head. "You didn't. The case was a killer. I'm surprised I made it home...and into bed."

"Want to talk about it?"

Again, she shook her head. "How've you been feeling? Have you made that follow-up appointment yet?"

"I was going to today. Is there a day that would work better for you?"

"What time? I'll see if I can make it work."

"I'll make it today and let you know. I'll try to make it as early as possible in the morning," Casey said as she leaned down and kissed her.

Olivia sighed, wrapping her arms around her and kissing back. "You look...paler and, wow, wha-what the hell Casey! I thought you said the pain was minimal!"

"It has its moments," Casey said as she rubbed her stomach. "Most of the time it is minimal. That just happened to be a sharp one."

"B-but you're...bruised! I-its like a bruise the day after...yellow. Look!" she said, pointing to a spot just above her naval.

"Relax honey, that's from the other day when I wasn't paying attention and bumped into the counter. It looks a lot better believe me and, before you panic, I had Warner check me out. The ultrasound showed everything was fine."

She smiled, running her hand over it before kissing it. "Sit?"

"What's wrong honey?" Casey asked as she sat next to Olivia and held her hand she could tell something was bothering her.

She shook her head, resting it on Casey's shoulder. "Just..." she knew there wasn't much time, but had hoped Casey would make good on her word from this morning. In all fairness, she had been half asleep, but... "nothing. I'm...just glad you're okay," she answered while trying to ignore the ache in her gut. "I wish I could've gotten home sooner."

"It's ok baby. You have to work," Casey said as she ran her hand through Olivia's hair. "What time do you have to be in?"

"What time is it now? About 9ish, I think. It was hard to concentrate by the end."

"Then I have some time," Casey whispered as she kissed Olivia's neck. "Unless you need to start getting ready?"

"No, I-I'm good," she whispered, pulling Casey into her lap, running her hands through her hair, almost forgetting Casey wasn't clothed, but she was as she moaned a bit, loving the feel of her lips against her.

"Good," Casey whispered against Olivia's lips as she pushed her back on the bed, "because I have been in the mood since lunch yesterday."

She smiled. "Me too. Come here."

"We have to go easy," Casey whispered as she pulled Olivia's shirt over her head moaning at the sight before her.

Olivia sat up, holding Casey against her. "I know. Well, I have to go easy anyway on you. You can do what you like to me, but if you want it to be equ—" she was cut off as Casey kissed her, snaking her hands around her neck, but Olivia would never complain. She loved Casey's sweet and gentle touch just as much as her rough side. All that mattered was that she was there with her.

Casey ran her hands down Olivia's sides smiling when she felt the muscles quiver under her. As long as they had been together, she still found it amazing how her body reacted to her touch. She ran her nails along her stomach as she felt a new flood of wetness between her legs. She had to have her and have her then. She quickly leaned down taking a perk nipple in her mouth and began to suck on it. She moaned when she felt her arch into her touch. Releasing that nipple she moved to the other to suck on it. As much as she wanted to draw it out and make it an all day affair, she knew they didn't have much time and this had to be quick.

Olivia's hands ran into her hair and tugged lightly, wanting to wrap her legs around her waist and hang on for the ride, but knew she couldn't, that it could be dangerous. She took to rubbing Casey's back, moaning as Casey continued to suck on her nipples that were hardening fast and becoming a little painful. She let out a high-pitched whimper of distress, as words were beyond her at the second, her body jerking.

Casey could hear the need and want in Olivia's whimpers. She quickly trailed her fingers down her body until she could feel the moisture that seemed to be pouring from her. She released the nipple and trailed her body back up so that she could look into Olivia's eyes."I love you," she whispered as she quickly inserted two fingers deep into Olivia.

She moaned, gaping at the quickness of the entry. She cupped Casey's chin with both hands and kissed her deeply. "I love you too, sweetheart. Please. I need you, need this. I can't stand to be without you any longer. Please...?" she whispered, kissing her again.

Casey smiled as she thrust harder and faster into Olivia, adding a third finger as she did so.

Olivia's body began to thrust up into Casey's, much harder than she meant to, but she couldn't control it. She managed to roll Casey to the side of her, hating the loss of contact, but she had no choice as her hips began to thrust faster and harder into Casey's hand. "C-Casey..." She was losing control, which normally, meant she would pull Casey on top of her at any and all costs and that was dangerous. But she couldn't bring herself to push her away. Her eyes looked pained as she looked at her.

"Let go for me," Casey whispered as she climbed back on top of Olivia, knowing how she always needed her so close when she lost control, shaking her head no when Olivia went to reposition her back to her side.

"..I-I can't! No! Don't do this! I-I'm being too rough! You can't be right there! Please Casey!"

Casey reluctantly moved from on top of Olivia, but stayed as close as she could to her without making her worry. She began to thrust even harder and faster wanting and needing Olivia to let go completely.

Olivia positioned herself partially over Casey, kissing her with renewed vigor. "C-CASEY!" she screamed into her lips again and again as it gushed from her, down her girlfriend's wrist as she collapsed.

"I have you baby," Casey whispered as she began to kiss Olivia's head holding her tight against her.

"..I...know," she panted in trying to catch her breath. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to be hurt or the kids to be at risk."

"I know, baby. It's ok. I understand. When we go to the doctor, I am finding out how careful we need to be in the bedroom."

Olivia rolled onto her back, pulling Casey with her. "Good. We need to know. Are you...okay?"

"I'm great," Casey said with a smile on her face.

Olivia kissed her again, rolling her onto her side as she sat up, then pulled her up to her. "..I-If there was anything wrong, you would tell me right? So I could try to make it better?"

"If there was anything, and I do mean _anything_, I will tell you, especially when it comes to these two right here," Casey said as she rubbed her stomach, "What's bothering you?"

She sighed. "I guess I'm still a bit worried about my long hours," then she stood to pace the room. "Okay, that's a lie. I just...I don't know what's wrong. I-I...what's the date today?"

"It's October 24th."

She sighed, walking back over to Casey. "That explains it. My mother passed away a few years ago on this date."

Casey opened her arms for Olivia. She knew the history with her mother was never good and at one point she was afraid she had killed her, but she also knew how the pain remained of losing a parent.

Olivia leaned into her. "I...haven't thought about it in years. Feels wrong somehow."

"It's not wrong and my guess is that the fact you are about to become a mother has brought up feelings that you have buried. Can you take today off or are you needed at work?"

She nodded. "Nine, remember?"

"Can't Cragen spare you today?"

"I don't know. Give me a reason to call it in."

"Honey, just tell him you need a personal day. It's not like you make a habit of being out. Even when you should be home you are working."

She nodded. "Go call the doctor and I'll call Cragen." She grabbed her phone, dialing the number.

"Depends," Casey said grabbing what she knew was Olivia's favorite shirt, "did you get the day off?"

"What does it matter? You're still going in."

"Olivia, did you or did you not get the day off?" Casey said as she spun around to glare at her.

"Yes! Yes, I did! What the hell's your problem?"

"Olivia," Casey said trying to keep her temper in. "Listen to me. I am going in. You can come and pick me up at noon we can have lunch go to the appointment and then whatever you want to do for the rest of the day. I don't care. I want you to go, and you need to go and visit your mother's grave site."

"Why? I haven't had the chance to go there since the funeral! I never get the time! I never get the time because you're always saying you need more evidence than what we give! What, a crying child saying 'daddy did this' isn't enough?!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Casey finally spat out, losing her temper. "You've had off days so don't give me that shit and I don't want to hear how you have to be here every second of the day with me. You choose to be. I tell you all the time to go out and do something. Lose your attitude now."

Olivia turned, leaving a dent in the wall as she walked to the bathroom to shower. As the hot water hit her, it made her think. She knew she shouldn't be taking her anger out on Casey, but she was sure Casey wouldn't take it as directly aimed at her. Fifteen minutes later, she stepped out, wrapping a towel around herself and walking back into the room.

"Are you done now?" Casey asked as she leaned against the door frame ready to leave for work.

She nodded, reaching to place a hand on her shoulder, but thought better of it. "I'm sorry. I...I don't know what got into me. Can I drive you to work?" she asked, quickly throwing on some clean clothes and pulling her hair back.

"Come here." Casey whispered as she pushed off the door frame and took a few steps toward Olivia with her arms open.

Olivia sighed, walking over and wrapping her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm more nervous about this appointment and upset over my mother than I thought."

"You need to relax baby," Casey whispered into Olivia's ear. "Go settle what you need to at your mother's grave and pick me up for lunch. We'll have a nice lunch and then face the appointment together like everything else." Casey pulled back so she could look at Olivia. "I love you baby and don't ever forget that ok because what I'm about to do will piss you off. Alex is waiting downstairs for me. I called her to get a ride in. She arrived while you were in the shower. Wipe the thought out of your head that I'm scared you're going to hurt me because if I did I wouldn't be in your arms right now."

Olivia shook her head. "No...no, that's not it," she said, hugging her tighter. "I'll never hurt you, never mean to," she nodded. "It's okay," she said, kissing her.

Casey leaned into the kiss deepening it. "I love you Detective Benson," Casey whispered as she broke the kiss. "I will see you at noon. Be careful."

"I love you too, ADA Novak and I'll try."

Half an hour later, she was sitting beside the grave, not really caring what was going on. Words to say eluded her thoughts. Not that she had anything to say that she hadn't already said. Pretty soon, with the warm sun shining, somehow, she was relaxed enough to rest.

* * *

"Alex, thanks for the ride," Casey said as they entered their office and sat her briefcase down. "I'll be leaving at twelve though. Olivia and I are going to have lunch together and we have a one-thirty appointment with the doctor as a follow-up visit. If you need me to work on any motions or anything at home just let me know."

She nodded. "All right. Well, I've got a competency hearing to get to. Those motions need to be filled out. The detectives should be in sometime today to get a couple warrants, so they need to be filled out."

"I'll have all these done for you and thanks again Alex I really appreciate it."

* * *

Olivia was still out of it at 12, so hard she didn't even hear the phone ring all the times that Casey called.

Casey slammed the phone down one last time as she glanced at the clock it was almost twelve thirty and Olivia still hadn't showed or called. She had called Elliot to make sure she wasn't there. She had to laugh about how he tried to back track and cover for her when she called. Everyone around could hear his sigh of relief when she said she knew she called in she was trying to find her. They had a lunch date and a doctor's appointment to go to. Elliot, the ever-faithful partner, told her to call him back if she couldn't find her within the next fifteen minutes. He would be honored to take her to lunch and escort her to the doctor appointment.

Finally, a passing car startled her awake. Looking at her phone she saw it was 12:30. "Damn it!" she said as she ran to her car and sped to the office. "Casey!"

Casey, who had finally given up on getting a hold of Olivia,, but had sent Munch and Fin out in search of her terrified that something was wrong, had called Stabler back. He was at her door within ten minutes with a smile on his face a offered her his arm to escort her out of the building. She had to laugh to herself with some of the looks they were getting. She was willing to bet a month's salary that before she could find Olivia, she would somehow have knowledge of this and be told that Stabler was sleeping with her woman. Boy, could news travel in the justice system quickly.

She sighed, calling Munch. "Hey, have you seen Casey?"

"The better question is, where have you been?" Munch asked. "Out sowing some wild oats maybe?"

"No, I went to my mother's grave and fell asleep."

"I'm sure that's just a conspiracy to keep me from living vicariously through you," he replied ready to go into one of his ever famous theories.

She sighed. "Fine, if you don't want to tell me, I'll just go wait at the doctor's office for her."

"Relax there stud," Fin said as he grabbed the phone from Munch trying his best to save both his co-workers. "She sent us in search for you she was worried that you didn't show. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I went to visit my mother's grave and fell asleep."

"Good. I will retract the blue alert," Fin answered as she heard the keys of a keyboard clacking in the background. "Stabler went and picked her up for you. He is supposed to take her to lunch and then to her appointment if we haven't found you by then. Before you ask, I have no clue where lunch is, sorry."

She sighed. "That's okay. I'll just pick up a sandwich and a coffee and go wait at the doctor's office. Thanks Fin," she said as she hung up the phone and walked from the building to the deli and grabbed a chicken sandwich and a coffee before sitting down, oblivious as to who was behind her.

"Did you forget something?" Casey asked as she turned her chair around to talk to her. She could tell she was a million miles away when she waved and never responded. Her guess was her mind was still on her mother.

She looked up, a bit startled, and turned around. "I didn't mean to," she said as she took a big bite.

"It's fine," Casey said trying to reassure her, "Luckily you have a partner here who was happy to fill in 'til we could find you. Oh, by the way, before you find out we are sleeping together now. Don't want it to be a shock to you."

She sighed, turning away. "Fine, whatever. Go on. Be happy. I'll just go home and curl up in bed."

"Hey," Casey whispered, "I will not fight with you here. I was just giving you a heads up. Elliot came and picked me up at work you know how the gossip line is. What is wrong?"

"I know," she said, turning back around. "I just...didn't plan on falling asleep by her grave. Guess I'm still trying to shake it off."

"Do you need more time?" Casey asked truly concerned for Olivia. "El is already here. He can take me and you can do what you need. I'm worried about you."

Olivia shook her head. "No, not alone anyway. I'm really sorry. But I do feel a lot better. Why are you so worried about me?"

"Let's start with because I love you," Casey said as a smile crossed her face, "end with you've been out of it all morning to the point of picking a fight with me. That's not you. Why don't you join us at this table?"

She nodded, going to sit beside Casey then realized, "Oh, but I have coffee. Will you be okay or should I switch to something else?"

"I can handle coffee today," Casey said laughing "What I can't stand is the smell of his cologne," she said as she pointed at Stabler who was in the middle of eating his sandwich trying his best to stay out of whatever was brewing.

She smiled, continuing to eat. "Thanks El. I really appreciate it."

"Not a problem," he said as he stood. "That's what partners are for. Casey, if you ever need me again I'm a phone call away for you, but I promise not to wear my cologne if I can help it."

Olivia smiled again. "At least stay for lunch."

"That is up to Casey. I know how pregnant women are with smells. Been there a few times myself."

She nodded. "Casey?"

"Keep it on that side of the table there handsome and you can stay," Casey said smiling at Elliot. "After all, I am having an affair with you now. How would it look if I wouldn't even eat lunch with you?"

"Well, how does it look if I'm eating with you?" Olivia asked.

"Boy is that rumor mill going to be working overtime today," Casey said laughing so hard that tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Olivia handed her a napkin, biting into her sandwich again. "Here."

Casey took the napkin and wiped her eyes as Elliot took his seat again. She had a feeling that Olivia didn't find the humor in her *affair* with Elliot. Anyone who knew them knew what a joke it was. She was so devoted to Olivia it wasn't funny and Elliot, bless his heart, didn't know how to have a wandering eye even if he tried. Something was really bothering her today and she hoped that tonight they could get to the bottom of it and, with any luck, minus all the shouting like this morning.

Olivia sighed, finishing her sandwich and sipping at her coffee again, before laying a hand on Casey's stomach. "Any problems or are they being good?"

"They are doing good today," Casey whispered covering Olivia's hands with her own. "Ready for the appointment though."

Olivia laid her head on Casey's shoulder. "Yeah, me too. And...I am sorry about this morning."

"Later. After the appointment," Casey whispered where only Olivia could hear. "We will discuss everything and I do mean everything."

Olivia nodded. "We need to."

Once they were done eating, everyone stood and said their goodbyes. Casey thanked Elliot again for coming to her aide and being such a good partner. She knew that as long as Olivia worked with him she would have to worry, but not as much as she would if she was with a rookie. She reached over and took Olivia's hand before they walked out and hailed a cab so they could make it to their appointment in time.

Olivia slid in beside her and closed the door. "You are aware I could've gotten us there, right?" she whispered.

"I know honey, but let's just sit back and enjoy the ride. Use it to try to unwind a little."

She nodded, resting her head again on her shoulder.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	20. The Best Cure

**WARNING: This chapter contains Adult Content.**

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 20: The Best Cure**

Casey and Olivia ended up making it to the doctor's with just minutes to spare. After Casey had been checked in, she and Olivia sat in wait. "I really hope everything goes okay," she said, taking her hand.

"It will be, just relax," Casey said squeezing her hand.

She sighed. "..Yeah."

Casey held Olivia tight against her realizing what type of toll this pregnancy was taking on her. She silently prayed that everything was alright and they could finally take the step forward they needed too. If not, she truly wasn't sure how much more Olivia could take."Ms. Novak." A nurse called as she opened the door to the back "If you will follow me please."

Olivia stood, taking Casey's hand as they walked and putting her other around her back. "I remember the last time we were here. You were so upset that I had to carry you to the room."

"Yeah," Casey said shuddering at the memory "That was a dark time. But now we are going to get a good report and we will celebrate it baby."

"With non-alcoholic drinks and a nice dinner."

"In here ma'am,' the nurse said as she opened a door and motioned for her to sit on the exam table. "Are there any changes since your last visit?"

Olivia sat in the chair next to her.

"No ma'am this is a follow up visit from when I went to the ER," Casey answered as she reached for Olivia. "Nothing has changed other than that."

"Very well," the nurse said. "Let me get your vitals and I'll need you to change into this gown so we can exam you."

Olivia moved out of the way as was necessary, while Casey's vitals were checked. Once she left the room, Olivia grabbed the gown while she undressed. "I swear these are the most embarrassing things ever!" she complained. "Why can't they have snaps in the back?"

"You think they're embarrassing? You're not the one wearing it," Casey said smiling as she reached forward and cupped Olivia's face with her hand. "I love you baby. No matter what I'm here to stay ok?"

Olivia put the gown on her, embracing her tightly. "I know that. It's just...almost unbelievable," she said as Casey sat on the bed and she rested her hands on her slightly swollen stomach. "I mean, I don't have the best track record with relationships period and you...you're just...I love you so much Casey!"

"After the appointment Liv, ok?" Casey whispered as she covered her hand with hers.

She nodded, sitting beside her and kissing her head.

"Ms. Novak and Ms. Benson," the Dr said as he entered."It says here that you were recently admitted to the ER and it was discovered that you are having twins."

Olivia nodded, smiling brightly. "Yes we are."

"Congratulations, now let's lay back and take a look and check these kids out."

Casey nodded and laid back pulling the gown up so the doctor could pour the gel on her stomach for the ultrasound.

Olivia stood beside her, holding her hand gently, her eyes focused on the screen.

The doctor slowly moved the wand around until two figures came into view. "There they are," he said with a smile "Their heart beat is staying around 130 which is excellent. It appears as if you have two healthy babies, ladies."

"That's great. The ER doctor told us it was normal for her to have a little pain once in a while, but still advised her go get checked if it's anything she can't handle."

"Yes, I would recommend having it checked out if it's something more than you can handle or if it's something that's different. You will have pains from time to time though. That will not be out of the ordinary though. Although, I don't know if the ER doctor told you that, you are now a high risk pregnancy and will need to be put on bed rest."

Olivia sighed. "Yeah, he said it would happen soon."

"I would say the sooner the better," he said as he wiped the gel off her stomach. "Are you still working full days now?"

"No, I'm not on my feet no more than four, max five, hours a day and that's not all at once," Casey said as she sat up. "Most of the time, I'm sitting filling out motions or doing research."

"And you probably shouldn't even be up that much," Olivia said.

"Each woman is different. I say no more than five, but, if at any time, you feel as if that's too much, then cut your hours back. All you need to do is call my office and I will send documentation to your work ok?"

Olivia nodded. "Thank you doctor. Don't forget to ask about..." she whispered to Casey.

"We were wondering," Casey said smiling at Olivia as she spoke, "How umm much ummm…"

"How much sex can you have while pregnant?"

"Yes."

"As long as it's comfortable for you than its fine. If at any point it becomes uncomfortable or painful then stop."

Olivia nodded. "Good. Since it's a high risk we wanted to be sure."

"Now I don't recommend swinging from a chandelier or whips and chains, but enjoy a healthy sex life. At least while you can ladies."

Olivia smiled. "Oh we're...not that kinky, but..."

"That's your business ladies, but I have been doing this long enough to know if I don't spell it out someone will try it and then blame me because they were too rough with a high risk pregnancy. I'm sure you two understand in your line of work."

"Exactly," Olivia said. "Anything else, honey?"

"Nothing that I can think of. You?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Those are all the questions we have at the moment doctor."

"Then I will see you two in two weeks as long as everything stays the same."

Olivia nodded. "Thank you. Do you have to go back in?" she asked Casey.

"I'm off for the rest of the day," Casey said as the nurse entered the room with their discharge papers and their next appointment date.

"Ok ladies, I will see you in two weeks at ten am."

"Thank you," she said, signing off on the papers and seeing her leave. "Do you want to get some sleep?"

"I want to go home and us to talk."

"Okay," she said handing Casey her clothes.

Casey took her clothes and quickly dressed. She was ready to be out of the office and alone with Olivia. One they needed to reconnect and two she needed to know what the hell was up with her today. Enough was enough for her.

* * *

Upon getting home, Olivia sat on the couch next to her, placing her feet in her lap.

"You want to tell me what's going on with you today and the last thing I want to hear is it's nothing. I want the truth Olivia no matter what it is."

"I told you. I'm feeling better about it." Seeing the look in her eyes though, Olivia knew Casey wanted more of an explanation. "Okay. It's just...I've always been so preoccupied with this job that I never had a chance to really date or form a relationship. Now, over the past two years, you've given me that and something more. What if I'm not all you think I am or am going to be? I've always had a way with kids, but this job and kids...it doesn't seem like a good fit. Elliot shelters his family and they're used to it, but what if I can't? What'll happen to us Casey?"

"First of all, I think it's a little to late to start second guessing this pregnancy. Second of all, no one knows the future. You think I don't worry every time you leave this house and go to work? You think when that phone rings and you're out on a case I dread answering it? I do. Yes, Elliot shelters his family, but look at how many times they have separated because he shuts her out. Who knows what will happen to us? I don't. Hell, we could separate before the babies are born or we could die holding hands."

"Well, to be honest, I like the second option better and I don't intend to ever leave you. I know you're right. I know you hate those calls..."

"Then what brought all this up? Is it because it's the anniversary of your mother's death or something else? Did something happen at work that no one's told me about?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, nothing happened at work," she said standing and pacing in front of her. "It seems like every damn insecurity I have is partially based on her, but it shouldn't be because we're two completely different people. I...I mean..."

"So we're back to Alex again?"

"No. Casey, you-you deserve so much better, but you chose me. I..." she turned away. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Turn around and look at me Olivia Benson," Casey said as she stood and crossed her arms. "None of this was an issue before Alex came back. Now I'm sick and tired of dancing around the damn elephant in the room. Just be up front and honest with me."

She turned. "About what exactly? There is nothing going on between me and Alex."

"I'm not saying there is, Olivia, you are always faithful no matter what, but there was never a question of whether you deserved me or was right for me until she returned as the ADA. Now do you deserve me, yes. Are you right for me, hell yes. But now that she's returned you wonder? Do you want a night? Is that it or are you trying to get me pissed off enough to kick you out? Which one Benson?"

Olivia took her shoulders. "No I don't want a night. I don't want to be kicked out. I just..." she sighed. "I just want to know that even with all my flaws you truly won't doubt me. I'm sorry I brought all this up, but you did ask."

"Yeah, I asked because I want my woman back. Not the one who is questioning her every mood and if she's good enough for me. I want the one that smiles when she sees me. The one who knows, without a doubt in her mind, how and where to touch me to turn me on. Not the one who, when we're in bed together, she's a million miles away. That's why I asked. If we have to sit here and go at it all night then damn it we will."

Olivia shook her head, one hand going behind Casey's ear to rub the spot behind her right ear that relaxed her. "I love you. I want you. No one else. Can we...just sit?"

Casey nodded as she smiled and sat back down on the couch.

Olivia sat beside her, pulling her into her lap and kissing and nuzzling her neck. "I'm sorry baby. Really. Please try to forgive me?"

"Are you going to be here with me from here on out?" Casey asked as she pulled Olivia's face to where she could into her eyes. "Stop doubting your worth. Because you're everything I've ever wanted and needed. Stop thinking that because Alex is back you're not worthy of my love anymore."

She nodded. "I promise. Hey," she whispered.

"God, I've missed you," Casey whispered before capturing Olivia's lips with her own. There was nothing but pure need and desire in the kiss.

Olivia held Casey against her, kissing back deeper and linking their fingers. "Casey...please?"

"Please what?" Casey asked as she nipped at her neck while desperately trying to undo the buttons on the shirt. Finally giving up and just ripping the buttons off the shirt running her nails along Olivia's firm, toned stomach groaning when Olivia arched into her touch. "God, I want you to fuck me."

"How?" she husked against her ear. "I'll fuck you all night if you want me to."

"I don't care," Casey moaned out. "I just need you."

Olivia moved up to kiss her outer ear before laying her on the couch and making quick work of her skirt and panties, not caring where they were. Quickly, her blouse and bra landed on top before she quickly undressed herself, after closing the blinds and locking the door. She balanced herself above Casey, kissing her deeply as her right hand trailed her inner thighs. "Someone's ready," she whispered.

"Yes!" Casey growled as she grabbed Olivia's wrist guiding her hand to where she wanted it. "Now!"

She smiled, locking eyes with her as her hand went to the spot she knew better than herself as she thrust three fingers into her core and quickly pulled them out only to thrust them back in. "Like this baby?" she moaned by her ear. "You're so wet. Is this all for me?"

"YES!"Casey screamed as she met Olivia thrust for thrust her nails digging into Olivia's back "Always you always."

"That's it! Come on, baby! Come! Let go for me. Be my girl, come on. Then I'll lick you up, 'til you come again, and again and...fuck, baby! Give me everything!" she moaned.

Casey screamed as her orgasm hit her and hit her hard she froze mid air when Olivia curved her fingers and hit the spot just right. She knew she had to be drawing blood when she clawed her nails up Olivia's back. but feeling her arch into her and push her fingers in even deeper causing another wave of orgasms to hit stronger than the first set. She was gasping for air when she finally lowered her body back down to the couch.

Olivia pulled her fingers away, safely lowering her to the couch, kissing her deeply. "Did it feel as good as I think it did?" she asked, nuzzling her neck.

"You have no clue," Casey whispered as she held Olivia tight against her loving the feel of their bodies together. "We have got to fight more often."

"The angry, lustful, makeup sex can definitely be the best, but I think I remember our first time much more vividly. But I don't like fighting with you."

"I know honey, and believe me, I don't like fighting with you either. I'm just saying if the sex is like this from time to time, I think an argument will do us good," Casey answered as she ran her hands through Olivia's hair. "I love you, you know that right? I do not for one second think that you are unfaithful."

She nodded. "Yes I do. Do you want me to clean you up?" she asked with a smirk. "Right into my mouth? Let me drink you up?" she husked by her ear.

"Oh God!" Casey moaned as she felt a new flood of wetness pour from between her legs. "There's plenty for you to clean up," she moaned as she guided her hand toward the wetness letting it coat her fingers before bringing it back up and rubbing along Olivia's lips allowing her to suck them clean. The second Olivia's lips closed around her fingers, she could have sworn she was about to come again. Then as Olivia shifted her body, she bumped against her throbbing, aching center which sent her spiraling into another mind blowing orgasm. She quickly pushed Olivia down to where she wanted her. "God baby don't stop it," she moaned as she screamed again feeling Olivia's tongue flick her swollen clit.

She sucked hard on her clit again and again, feeling Casey's legs wrap around her head, squeezing powerfully. She hummed against her, hearing her gasp and pant.

Casey struggled to catch her breath as Olivia worked wonders with her tongue. She couldn't hear anything or the roar in her ears. If it wasn't for the vibrating feeling she felt every so often, she wouldn't even realize that Olivia was making any noise. She wanted to delay this as long as possible, but she couldn't. She felt herself being hurled over the cliff. "LIV, LIV, LIV," she chanted as she buried her fingers into Olivia's hair tightening her hold. "God YESSSS!"

Her tongue finally plunged into the depths, swallowing what was there as she swirled her tongue around more. She thrust in and out quickly, panting.

"I love you!" Casey shouted as she crested again her body freezing in its position. Every muscle tightening to the point of it being almost painful.

Olivia brought her back down slowly and made her way back up her body.

She smiled, maneuvering in behind her and holding her close. "I know you're pretty spent right now, so I...can...wait...if you...want."

"Hmmm," Casey hummed as she rolled over to face Olivia. "You're not waiting," she growled before biting down on Olivia's shoulder as she thrust three fingers in fast, hard and deep. She began a steady rhythm that she knew would send Olivia over the edge.

"C-Casey...please! More!" she moaned, burying her head in her hair, laying one leg over her waist. "Oh God! Please! Fuck!"

Casey positioned herself so she could get a better position and began to increase her thrusts along with adding a forth finger. "You like that baby? You love how tight you are around my fingers. Having them buried in you so deep. "

"Uh...uh huh... S-sooo much!" she moaned. "Ca-can't..."

"Come for me baby," Casey whispered against Olivia's ear as she arched her fingers to hit the spot that always sent her spiraling over the edge. "Don't hold out, just come for me."

She choked on her first scream as she hid her face in her neck. "GOD! OH! YESSSS, YES, CASEY!" she screamed into her neck, feeling her entire body quake, barely able to control her hips to make sure she didn't push Casey off the edge of the couch. "C-Casey," she panted, "I love you baby."

"I love you too," Casey answered before kissing her as she brought her back down gently and carefully. She slowly pulled her fingers from Olivia trying to be extra careful not to cause her pain. Once out she pulled Olivia tight against her and held on as if her life depended on it.

Olivia smiled, kissing her gently. "Relax, sweetheart, no one's ever going to be able to steal me from you."

"I've missed you," Casey whispered as she pulled back to look into Olivia's eyes. "I've missed this, us."

"Me too. And I'm sorry we haven't, but I wanted to be sure the four of us would be okay," she said with a smile as a hand rested on Casey's bare stomach.

"Hold us?" Casey asked as she placed her hand over Olivia's hand holding it tight against her stomach.

Olivia smiled. "I've got you, all three of you. Forever," she said, kissing her gently.

Casey sighed as she snuggled in closer and felt Olivia's arms tighten against her. A smile played at the corner of her mouth as she drifted off to sleep.

Olivia sighed, pulling the quilt off the black of the couch over them, before snuggling into her and drifting off.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	21. Bonding

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 21: Bonding**

_Two months later_

It had been almost three months since that day they *hashed* things out.

After about a week, she finally confessed to Olivia that she had planned that. She knew the only way to have Olivia lose control and not treat her like a china doll was to piss her off and push her past that point. That in itself had Olivia stewing for a good day and when she got home they argued again which led to another night of pure sex. Which pleased Casey and irritated Olivia even more.

Even though the doctor had told them to feel free to experiment as long as she was comfortable. still meant being extra careful to Olivia. Casey understood her reasoning and she would do nothing to jeopardize their children, but there were times she just needed the raw Olivia and nothing else would do.

Casey jumped when she felt a sharp pain in her stomach and instantly covered it with her hand. She began to rub circles over her stomach when she felt it again. That was when she realized what was happening and she had to get Olivia to the office immediately. She dialed her number, but was disappointed when it went straight to voice mail. She left a message on the voice mail for her to come to the office immediately.

She had just slammed the phone down when to try and call Elliot when Alex ran flying into the room. "Come on, let me help you to the couch. I'll have EMS here immediately." She said as she flew to Casey's side.

"HEY, HEY!" Casey shouted as she pushed Alex's hands off her. "What are you doing?"

Alex knelt beside her. "I heard the voice mail you left Olivia as I was passing by. What's wrong?"

"They're kicking," Casey said smiling realizing where the confusion had come from. "I wanted Olivia to feel it. It's the first time. Would you like to feel?"

She smiled, nodding. "Are you okay then?" she asked extending her hand.

"Other than not being able to get a hold of Olivia, I'm fine," Casey said as she guided Alex's hand to where they were kicking her stomach "Amazing, isn't it?"

"It feels like a...a ball or something. Yeah it is, really. I wonder if this means they like me? Do you want me to stay until she gets here?"

"Alex relax," Casey said laughing. "I'm sure they love you because both of their mothers love you. If you don't have some place to be right away I wouldn't mind the company."

She nodded, leaning against the desk. "Do you know what you've having yet?"

"No, we find out next week. That is if they are in a position where we can tell. If not, we get to play the guessing game 'til they decide to show us or birth. Hopefully they will show us first."

"You really shouldn't buy too much yellow of anything. Facts say that babies cry more in yellow rooms."

"Really?"

"Yeah, try like a dark or baby blue. Light pink if it's a girl. And babies love all kinds of textures too, mostly soft. Yes, I've been reading in my spare time."

"I was about to ask if you were hiding some big secret from us. Why wasn't I the first to know?" Casey said as laughter laced her voice. It had amazed them how much of good friends they had become. Alex had become her confidant and vice versa. She was always there to lend a helping hand whether it was to Olivia or her.

"..I wasn't sure how much of my advice you would take to heart. Especially on this, such an...a personal, family matter," Alex replied.

"I'll take any advice anyone has," Casey told her. "Please don't be scared to share with me. It is a family matter, but we happen to have a very large family."

Alex smiled. "Yes you do. We all do. Everybody has your back, our backs. That's what I've missed about being here. I'm glad to be back. Do you need anything? Coffee, tea, water, maybe something to eat?"

"I'm good, but thank you."

She nodded. "Okay, I've got about an hour free. Is there anything you'd like to do or need help with?"

"Actually, I think I'm good, unless you just want to kill some time. I'm always up for that because I am so sick of paperwork it's not even funny."

"We could go to the deli. You could pick something up for later? It would get you out of here for a bit. You wouldn't have to be on your feet much."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Casey said standing as quickly as she could for as big as she was starting to get. "Not to mention I'm always hungry now."

Alex grabbed Casey's jacket and helped her put it on. "Maybe you should let Olivia know? You know, in case she comes looking for you."

"I'll text her on the way, hopefully she will get it soon. She must be interviewing a perp or victim. Her phone is turned off."

Alex nodded, donning her own jacket. "Walking a bit will be beneficial. Just need to be careful not to overdo it," she said as she opened the door for them. "I'll try not to be as overprotective of her, but, really in essence, I envy you. I really do. So, that being said, I'll help you any way I can."

"I'm surprised she hasn't made you swear to making sure I don't do a thing," Casey said as they stepped on the elevator. "Zapata took a lot from you didn't he?"

She nodded. "The life that I knew, my career, my friends. My own mother passed away while I was gone an-and the US Marshalls wouldn't even let me go to her funeral."

"That had to be rough. How did you survive all those years in wit sec? That is, if you don't mind me asking?"

She turned to look at her. "Honestly? Her. I-I didn't plan on being gone that long. I used to think we'd pick right back up, you know? I'm not angry at you. I'm glad she's happy, that you make her happy. She moved on because...I told her to. And it hurt that I had to tell her that. I'll never hurt your relationship with Olivia, Casey. That's not who I am. As long as I'm...still allowed to be part of her life, I'll be okay."

"I know that Alex," Casey almost whispered as she placed a hand on Alex's arm. "I'm thankful you two have been able to rebuild your friendship. She needed that as much as you did."

She smiled, placing a hand on hers. "I'm...extremely envious though. Do you need any help with anything?"

"I think I've got it. Thank you. I can only imagine how you feel. To be loved by someone like Olivia and then lose it."

Alex opened the front door for her, walking out after her. "Anyway, on to a better topic. What are you hoping for?" she asked as they made their way down the steps.

"Honestly, after what we've been through, I'll take anything as long as they are healthy."

Alex nodded, understanding, as they made their way to her car. "I know it's not very far, but I did promise her so..."

Casey groaned. "I figured as much. She probably has everybody at the office on alert."

She smiled. "Better to be over than under considering your past medical history though."

"I know and we all know she is overly cautious. I can't remember the last time I did anything at the house. I feel so bad because she's working so many hours and then comes home and takes care of everything."

"Well, if you ever really need the help, and she's not around, I could probably make the time."

"Alex, you are a God send, you know that?"

She opened the door for her, closed it, then got in the driver's side. "Yeah, some people have told me that, just never on a personal level, not that many get that far with me," she said, buckling her seatbelt.

"You should let them Alex," Casey said buckling her seatbelt. "I know and understand why you're so guarded, but you should take the chance."

She sighed. "I know, but with this job, people...they want to advance, use me to get ahead. You're lucky to have Olivia. I know I never used to have to worry about that with her."

"Hell, if it isn't the advancing it's the, 'I have a friend who got arrested could you help him?' I think I was about year into the career when I learned to date officers. Of course there is that added bonus of looking so good in a uniform."

Alex smiled. "Yes, I...remember that. Fondly. Her in her dress blues. God, what a sight! Did you date anyone before her?"

"Yes, those dress blues. Lord, I love seeing her in them, but hate the reason why when she puts them on. I did. A few officers, but not that much. What about you? Did you date anyone before Liv?"

She nodded. "A few 'enemies' as Olivia once called them. Defense attorneys, but...men just never...stuck with me, you know? One-night-stands for blackmail and to tell co-workers to knock me down a few pegs. Olivia and I worked well together. Drinks after a case and we'd talk for hours until, gradually, it led to more. Of course, Liz found out right away, but we were always professional and discreet at work, so she didn't have a problem."

"Yeah I understand how men didn't stick," Casey said laughing. "Olivia is the first officer I've dated and had to work with. I used to have a strict rule about mixing business with pleasure."

"Now it's a little different though. Maybe it's not always pleasure as personal or family business, but they understand. I know I used to have a rue like you did too, but...one night it went to the dogs, let's put it that way."

"One drink too many and the next thing you know you're in bed with a hot brunette detective?" Casey asked with a smile. "Trust me, I know."

"Oh no! Not just "a hot brunette detective", "THE hot brunette detective"," she said, laughing. "And, trust me, I didn't plan it. But I've never regretted it either! Should we go in?"

"Yeah let's," Casey said laughing as well. If anyone could hear some of their conversations, they would truly wonder about them. She would have to say if she was on the outside looking in she would too. She didn't know anyone that could become such good friends with their girlfriend's ex and openly talk about their time together. Swap stories if you will.

Alex killed the engine, taking the keys and getting out before closing the door and walking around to Casey's side to open her door and offer her hand. "I'll say this much, she taught me chivalry isn't dead," she said with a smile.

"Thank you," Casey whispered taking Alex's hand as she exited the vehicle.

She nodded, continuing to hold her hand. The sidewalk was broken and extremely uneven. She opened the door, letting go of Casey for her to walk in first. "Do you want to find a table? Are you sure you don't want anything?"

Just as Casey was about to say she was fine her stomach rumbled loud enough for both of them to hear it. She started laughing as she said. "I guess they smelled the food and decided they were hungry. I'll take a turkey club please."

Alex nodded, smiling. "Anything to drink?"

"Just water. Apparently, I have to limit my caffeine intake now. Do you know how hard that is for me?"

"I have an idea."

"What is that?" Casey asked genuinely intrigued.

She shrugged. "Caffeine isn't good for babies. For that matter, alcohol is worse, but I'm sure you know that already."

"Yeah, even Olivia has stopped drinking her wind down beer at night."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?" she said, stepping up to the counter and ordering two chicken sandwiches and turkey clubs. "Go find us a table," she said as she waited.

Casey made her way to the back of the restaurant and found a table where she could keep an eye on both the entrance and the side door where the employees come and go. She couldn't help but laugh to herself when she realized how she chose their table to sit. She knew as soon as Alex reached her, she would realize it too and laugh as well.

Alex turned, tray in hand with their sandwiches and drinks, and walked over. "Watching for the bad guys?" she asked, setting the tray on the table and sitting opposite of her.

"Just a habit and I know you were more than used to it. If not so still."

She smiled. "Yeah, Olivia was like that too. Always watching. It didn't matter where we were. Sometimes, I wished she wasn't so guarded, but - with the job - I understand why."

"I learned to live with it after the first time she was threatened. After that I understood. Actually, to be honest, it's rather comforting to know that she has a weapon on her all the time, especially with how things are now days."

She nodded. "Yeah, but there were times I wished she didn't have it beside her constantly."

"Like the nights you want to have a nice romantic dinner, just the two of you, and forget for about an hour that you're an ADA and she's a detective?"

"Yeah," Alex said as she swallowed a bite, "exactly."

"I was wondering if you could help me with something?" Casey asked as she finished her sandwich.

"What?" she asked, taking a drink.

"I've been trying to get Olivia to go out. You know, enjoy herself. Have a little fun before the twins are here, but she keeps refusing. Do you think you could help me talk her into it? The guys said just let them know and they would take her out. Have a guy's night."

She sighed. "I can try, but I doubt she will being so worried about you."

"This is where you come in." Casey said smiling. "You tell her that you will stay with me so she can go out. She knows you will watch after me. But honestly you don't have to. Just show up, so she'll leave have some fun and then you can go do your thing."

She smiled. "I will, but later, okay?"

"Deal. You ready to get back?"

She sighed, putting the extra sandwiches in the bag. "Sure."

Casey stood and started to take their trash when Alex grabbed it from her. She started to say something then realized it would be useless. There was no way she was going to be able to even carry her trash. She smiled at Alex as she held the door open and escorted her out.

* * *

Upon getting back, Olivia was leaning against the desk. "Have a nice lunch?" she asked with a smile.

"Hey baby," Casey said with a huge smile across her face. "We did. Why didn't you call or text? You could have met us."

"I just got out of interrogat—OW!" she wiped her face and saw deep crimson. "Damn!"

"What did you do?"

She sighed. "Prep had a plain blade pressed against his wrist. We didn't see it and he got me. Not bad enough for stitches though."

"You mean to tell me you actually let a medical professional look at it?"

She shook her head. "No, but it's not streaming blood..."

"No of course not!" Casey growled grabbing her coat and purse. "Why would you? You only have twins on the way. Now come on."

Olivia sighed, wrapping an arm around Casey. "Fine, just for you."

"No not just for me, for our CHILDREN!" Casey almost yelled as she spun around to face her.

She nodded. "Okay, I-I'm sorry! I-I'll go...alone."

"No honey, I'll go with you. I didn't mean to snap on you like that."

Olivia nodded again. "Okay, come on."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma, Kikilia14 & scarey-kid

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	22. Unexpected

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 22: Unexpected**

Casey sat on the chair in the doctor's waiting room trying her best not to bounce out of the seat. There was nothing more she wanted than to pace the floor. She glanced over at Olivia who seemed to be as calm as she could be flipping through some magazine she had picked up. It was really starting to bother her.

"How in the world can you sit there so calm?" Casey finally asked unable to stand it any longer.

She sighed. "I really don't know."

"I wish you would figure it out and share the secret with me. I'm about ready to wear a hole in the floor."

"How? I'm not a baby-figure-outer! I just know I'd be bouncing off the walls if I don't keep occupied."

"I don't think that would even work for me. What are you hoping for?"

She smiled. "Two little girls who look like you."

"Are you sure? What if its boys?"

"I'll still be happy because they'll be ours."

"You are something else you know that?" she smiled, kissing her cheek "I do now."

"Ms. Novak and Ms. Benson?" the nurse said as she called their names.

Olivia helped Casey up. "Yes?"

"If you will please follow me." The nurse said holding the door open for them to pass through.

Olivia smiled, walking with Casey. "I love you."

"I love you too" Casey said as she took Olivia's hand and followed the nurse into the exam. Like every other visit, she had her vitals taken and then changed into the gown that they gave her. After having to come to the doctors every two weeks, this had become second nature to her. She smiled at Olivia as she slid onto the exam table. The love she saw pouring from her eyes made her gasp for air.

Olivia sat beside her, like always, and wrapped an arm around her. "What's going through that mind of yours, hmm?"

"I'm scared. As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm terrified that you'll be mad if it's not what you're looking for. That you'll realize what a hardship this is going to be and decide that the single life is the way to go."

Olivia wrapped her arm more securely around her. "That's not true. I promise. I'm here. Forever."

"I know, but I'm still terrified. Guess them hormones are working double today."

"Don't be, baby. I'm here to stay."

"I know, honey, don't think I doubt that for a second, but I have these doubts that run through my head from time to time. I never thought like this 'til I got pregnant, so I blame the hormones."

"And the first time nerves. Once we find out though, we can decorate the nursery more thoroughly."

"Did I tell you that Alex has been reading and we need to avoid the color yellow it makes the babies cry more? A soft blue or soft pink is the way to go?" she said as she reached for her hand, needing that connection.

Olivia took her hand, nuzzling her neck. "Did she now? We might have to consult her on it from now on."

"I'm ok with it if you are." Casey said as the doctor entered the room.

"Good afternoon ladies. How are we doing today?"

Olivia nodded, smiling. "We're great."

"That is good," he said putting some gloves on. "Have there been any problems? Any changes I need to know about?"

"No, I've been great." Casey said laying back and pulling the gown open for the ultrasound gel.

Olivia, as usual, stood beside her.

"So if they cooperate today we should be able to determine the sex. Is that something you two would like to know or would you prefer to be surprised at birth?"

"We want to know. The nursery isn't finished yet. We're waiting for colors," Olivia said.

"Well then, let's take a look and see what we can see," the doctor said as he turned the ultrasound machine on and began to move it around her stomach "Well ladies, last chance to change your mind," he said looking over at them. Casey looked to Olivia to see what she wanted.

"I want to," Olivia answered. "Do you?"

"Yes," Casey whispered as she squeezed Olivia's hands tighter.

"Okay. Well then ladies, it appears…' The doctor looked at Casey and Olivia. "You are having girls."

Olivia smiled and kissed her lightly.

"Girls. We're having girls," Casey said as tears started down her cheeks and she pulled Olivia tighter against her.

Olivia hugged her tighter. "Yeah, but I would've been happy no matter what."

"I love you."

The doctor smiled at the two ladies and quietly made his way out of the room. He stopped the nurse and told them to give them a few minutes before going in there.

The nurse nodded being more than accustomed to having to do this.

"I love you too," Olivia said, kissing her again and pulling her closer. "And our two little girls."

'Girls. Twin girls." Casey said kissing Olivia back "You ready for two more just like me? Two mini me's."

She laughed, resting her hands on her stomach. "Absolutely," she said, kissing her again.

"Baby," Casey whispered as she wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and rested her forehead against Olivia's, "you have made me the happiest woman on this earth and I thank god for you daily. You are the best wife, lover, partner, and soon to be mother I have ever known or met. I love you so much. At this moment, I want to be alone with you in our house."

She smiled. "We will be soon. You can come in now," she told the nurse.

"Congratulations to both of you," the nurse said as she entered. "Here are your discharge papers and your next appointment date. If you have any questions or problems, please feel free to come in or call when needed."

Olivia nodded. "Of course."

Casey pulled Olivia to her when they reached the car and kissed her. She had never loved Olivia more than she did at that moment. When she broke the kiss, she was breathless. "Do you think we could make one stop on the way home?" she asked leaning against the car.

She smiled, her arms around her. "Sure where?"

"Back to the office. I want Alex to be the first to know that we are having girls."

Olivia hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. "I love you."

"You better, sexy." Casey said in a joking tone as she slid into the seat and waited for Olivia to close her door.

She smiled, closing the door and going around and getting in.

They drove to the office in silence. Casey was thinking now that they knew the sex they could really start to finish the nursery. The downfall was she wasn't sure how that was going to happen.

Olivia seemed to be putting in more hours, but she couldn't help it. It seemed as if in the last two weeks there has been an increase in rapes throughout the city.

Unfortunately she was only allowed on her feet three hours a day now. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Olivia calling her name.

"Casey, are you upset that we're not having a little boy?"

"No honey. I don't care if it's two girls, two boys, or one each. After all we've been through, I just want them healthy. I was thinking about all we need to get done and wondering how we are going to do it. You're working a lot of hours right now because there seems to be an increase in rapes and I'm only allowed on my feet three hours now."

Olivia sighed. "Well, I'll be taking time off before and after they're born. I could ask about cutting back now. You need the help now that you're not on your feet as much," she said, resting a hand on her growing stomach.

"No, don't cut your hours back now. Just wait until it's closer to the due date. We'll work it out. We always do."

"But of you spend the time on your feet at the office, how will the nursery be done in time? We've got, approximately, only 4 months left, give or take days..."

"There are things I can sit and do. I will do those in the evenings and on the weekends. If you're off, we can do them together."

"Yeah, but how good will I be exhausted after work?"

"Don't try to take it all on yourself. I will do what I can. If it gets to that point where I need all that extra help, then start cutting back your hours. You have to promise me something though."

Olivia raised a brow. "What?"

"If there is a major case like the one last week that requires you to stay and work around the clock, do it. Don't come home early just because you feel like you have to or need to. I can manage. There are delivery services, so I won't have to cook. I'll only be on my feet long enough to answer the door. Ok?"

She nodded. "Second call?"

"Yeah, just wait for the second call," Casey said smiling. "Now let's go in and share the good news with Alex."

Olivia nodded, getting out and going around to open the door. "Casey," she said, extending her hand for her.

"Hmm," Casey said taking Olivia's hands and thankful for the assistance on getting out of the car.

Olivia closed the door, backing Casey against it as she wrapped her arms around her neck. "I love you."

"And I love you."

She smiled, helping her away from the car and into the building.

* * *

"Hey Alex," Casey said as she entered their office and quickly made her way to the couch. She would never admit it to anyone, but the more she walked, the more tired she would become.

Alex looked up from rearranging her argument. "Hi guys. How did it go at the doctor's?"

Olivia smiled, sitting beside Casey.

"It went great," Casey said reaching for Olivia's hands. "And we wanted you to be the first to know. We are having twin girls."

"That's great, guys," Alex said walking out from behind the desk, "congratulations!"

Olivia held Casey's hands gently. "Yes, it is, but now that we know, there's so much work to do. Furniture to be bought, clothes, supplies," she sighed. "And almost everything will be doubled."

"If it's ok with you both I would love to throw you a baby shower. Only if you two are ok with me doing it."

Olivia smiled. "Sounds wonderful! What do you think?"

"I love it. Thank you so much," Casey answered, truly shocked that Alex would do that for them.

Olivia smiled. "Any idea when?"

"That is up to you two ladies. Tell me what date and time would be best for you and I'll set it up. Now are you registered anywhere?"

"Registered?" Olivia asked. "For a shower?"

"Yes," Alex said shaking her head. "Tell you what, I know how much you despise shopping or anything slightly related to it. Why not allow me and Casey handle that? How does that sound?"

She nodded. "Perfect." She looked to Casey. "Is there anywhere else you'd like to go or should we just head home?"

"Don't you want to tell the guys?"

Olivia nodded. "You're coming with me this time though."

"Of course," Casey whispered as she leaned against Olivia.

Olivia helped her up, smiling at Alex. "I think after we should get home though. I can already tell you're tired of being on your feet, you're weakening."

Casey smiled at Alex and then Olivia. "It's been an emotional roller coaster today, that's all."

Olivia wrapped her arm around her. "I know, but it'll get better. Let's go."

"I know," Casey said as she let Olivia guide her from the room and to the car for the short drive to the precinct.

Olivia got in the driver's side, taking her hand as she drove and kissing her knuckles. She sighed. "..Someday Casey. when that law gets appealed..."

"We'll be the first ones to get married," Casey said as she laid her head back and closed her eyes

"First in line," she said, digging something out from the center console, "but in the meantime..." she began, hiding it in her palm.

"Meanwhile what?"

Olivia stopped outside the precinct, getting out and opening her door. "Turn towards me," she requested, on one knee.

Casey turned to face Olivia and felt tears spring to her eyes. She couldn't believe it "Liv."

She reached up to wipe them away, smiling. "Casey..." she said, taking her hand.

"Yes, baby, yes," Casey said her voice over flowing with emotions "Yes."

Olivia slipped it on, hugging her tightly – well as tightly as she could considering the circumstances – kissing her deeply. "Will you let me say what I was going to before we go in?" she whispered.

"Mmhm," Casey hummed before kissing Olivia again.

Olivia smiled, staying where she was. "Casey, you are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're strong, courageous, don't back down from anything, beautiful, smart, loving, caring...I could go on forever. I..." she bit her lip, choking back tears. "I never thought I could ever love someone so purely, so completely, but I do. I always will. I want you with me, now, then, for the rest of our lives. I love you so much! You're giving me everything I've ever dreamed of. Except one thing. Casey Novak, will you marry me?"

"Yes," Casey breathed out, "yes, I will."

Olivia pulled back, resting her hands on her stomach. "And what do our girls say?"

"The girls say yes too."

Olivia smiled, kissing her deeply again. "I'd pick you up and spin you, but I'm afraid of the outcome," she said as she helped her from the car.

"Come on detective, where's your sense of adventure?" Casey said laughing as she stood to her feet "Don't feel like being puked on today?"

She shook her head. "Not particularly," she said taking her hand.

Casey laughed as she felt Olivia hold her hand tighter the band on her hand pushing firmly against her finger. Her heart skipped a beat knowing that Olivia would be hers forever.

Olivia pulled her tightly against her, having an uneasy feeling. "Case, I...think we should go home. We can tell them tomorrow."

"Baby, are you ok?" Casey asked turning to look at her. "What is it?"

"I...I don't know, but my gut's telling me we shouldn't even step foot in there. Something's...really wrong. Let's go." She led Casey back over, but checked the bottom frame for suspicions objects before she would even let her sit down. A second later, a barrage of gunshots was heard.

Quickly, she closed the door and jumped in the other side and left. She knew she should be in there, but she couldn't risk Casey being hurt, or the girls. It wasn't exactly the cowardly thing to do at the moment. She waited until she was a safe distance away before pulling out her radio. "All units respond. Gunfire heard inside the 1-6. This is Detective Olivia Benson. I am two blocks away, but have...obligations that prevent me from entering." She said the last bit with a worried sigh.

Casey looked at Olivia the last thing she wanted to do was send her into a gun fight, but she knew it was in her blood. She knew that if Olivia didn't return and assist and they lost an officer she would forever blame herself. She took a deep breath. She knew she was making the right choice. She just prayed that in the end it wouldn't cost her the love of her life.

"Go!" Casey almost had to force out. "It's your job and that's your family. I'll be with Alex."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma, Kikilia14 & tummer22

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	23. Family First

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 23: Family First**

Olivia nodded, hugging her tightly and kissing her again. "You two stay there. I'll send someone," she said, getting out and running back. Ten patrol cars were already waiting. "What's the situation?"

"We don't know," an officer said glancing at her shield and credentials "We haven't been able to make contact."

"Let me go in!" she insisted. "Do you have an extra vest?"

"It's in the trunk," he said tossing her the keys, "but we're not going in 'til ESU gets here."

She opened the trunk, shedding her jacket and pulling it on. "They could be dead by then! How far out is ESU?"

"They said eta was twenty out."

She nodded. "Whatever it is, I followed my instinct to protect and called it in," she said with a sigh. "I need to make a call." She walked a few feet away, dialing Alex.

* * *

"Hey Liv," Alex said answering the phone on the second ring.

"Is Casey there? We came here, but...I had to send her to you. There's a situation, shots fired. If she's not there yet, you need to look for her."

"Get off this phone, get your head in the game! Casey is fine. Goodbye!" Alex growled as she slammed the phone down. Olivia knew better than to let herself get distracted. She just prayed that she wouldn't try to be hero and go in. She had way more to worry about than just herself now.

She sighed. "I know that. I won't answer this text, but I just want to know Casey and the girls will be looked after if something happens. They're what matters," she sent, seeing ESU pull up and running over.

Alex glanced at her phone and would have gladly sent it flying across the room and into a million pieces if Casey wasn't already in there stretched out on the couch. Instead she used the skill she had acquired over the years in the court room and maintained a neutral reaction.

"She's just worried about us," Casey said without moving from her location.

"Worried or not her head needs to be in the fight right now."

"I know it and you know and we both know that in about thirty seconds me and the girls will be at the back of her mind, tucked away safely, while she focuses on the shooting."

"She better," Alex mumbled hoping that Olivia wasn't as off her game as she had been noticing.

* * *

Olivia waited up by the cars for a signal if she needed to go in. "I need to go. Anyone knows their way around the place it's me." She walked to the Lieutenant. "Is there anyone who can take me in?"

The Lieutenant looked Olivia up and down before answering. "No one goes in until we know what we're dealing with. Then my guys are trained for that, so they will handle it."

"No, no, you're saying they're my team and I'm not allowed to go in to help? How does that help them? No one on your team knows the inside of that building like I do. I'll settle for the okay and knowing what we're dealing with, but I'm going in!"

"We have the blue prints right here," he said grabbing a rolled up package. "We know the ins and outs of the building. You are not going in, the ESU team is."

She sighed, going past him to survey the building. Remembering the fire escape that led right to the window on the other side, she jumped it and scaled it. She'd take the damn repercussions. The squad mattered more than her rank and she was certain the captain would back her up.

The Lieutenant looked up seeing Olivia scale the fire escape. He was about to send an officer after her when he realized it would be useless. Now they would have to add one more to the rescue and recovery. He just prayed they would be able to save them all.

Olivia looked through the window, seeing Elliot with his gun raised but no one else. She knocked on the window, widely spaced apart, gun raised.

Elliot glanced up at the window and smiled seeing his partner. Boy, was she a sight for sore eyes. As quietly as he could he slid across the floor and raised the window. "Too good for the door?" he asked helping her in.

She shook her head. "ESU is outside and wouldn't let me in, so I opted for a creative way. I sent Casey to Alex, so she's safe. What's going on?"

"Fin and Munch are taking cover in the broom closet. They were by it when shots were fired. Captain is over there," Elliot said pointing in the direction of their interrogation room, "he's knocked the window out and has been returning fire. He is low on bullets though same as I am."

"Where are the two men?" she said, handing him 5 rounds from her 14 clip before reloading.

"One is hiding behind the desk over there," Elliot said as he loaded his clip "the other one was hit. He's the one you see laying in the hallway. I'm not sure if he's dead or not, but he hasn't moved in close to twenty minutes."

"That means nothing. He could be biding his time. Do we know why?"

"One on the floor shouted this was for his sister before opening fire. Fin texted just before you arrived if we can provide cover for them they are going to escape the closet."

Olivia nodded. "Tell him yes. Tell them to count to five."

"I'll take left you take right," Elliot said their eyes connecting for a brief moment. All fears and promises said and made with one look. "First chance you get, take the bastard out."

She nodded. "You too. Good luck." She stood and covered, watching as Elliot too the other side and the doors to the closet quaked.

Elliot scanned the room ready to fire if the suspect behind the desk moved when Fin and Munch tried to make it to them. He took a deep breath as he slightly exposed himself and leveled the sights of his gun in the direction of the target. He heard the door creaked open and he was pretty sure time stood still while he waited for the suspect to make a move.

Olivia's eyes were torn between both suspects and the closet. No more than two seconds later, it burst open as they came into sight. As the suspect raised his gun, Olivia beat him to it, firing two shots. One winged her arm, the other in his neck as he collapsed. "Check the other guy!"

Elliot slowly advanced toward the suspect Olivia just took out. His gun stayed in the ready position for quick fire if needed. As he neared him, he lowered his gun to his side and kicked the weapon from the suspects reach. He quickly cuffed the young man and patted him down for any other weapons before applying pressure to the wound on his neck. He heard Fin and Munch say behind him that the other one was gone. "Then get an ambulance for this one!" he shouted.

"And someone notify ESU, they're outside!" Olivia said as she walked to the interrogation room. "Captain?" she asked, kicking glass out of the way. "Are you injured?"

"Nick on the arm from where I dove for cover," Cragen said thankful that she wasn't at the station when the men arrived. From the direction of their first shot, she would have been killed instantly. "If ESU is outside, how did you get in here?"

"Scaled the fire escape by the window. Hell if I wasn't going to get in here. And I know this is going to cost me, but family comes first. Oh and," she began as she handed him her piece. "I got one in the arm and neck. Elliot, his arm is nicked!"

"Might as well hold that 'til IAB arrives. We were all in the shooting. I can't take your weapon this time," he said walking out of the room and surveying the damage boy was one pp going to have fit on this. "Any civilians injured?"

She nodded, re-holstering it and walking out. "I don't know if anyone else is injured. I came in halfway through. Captain, since I'm probably going to be the one taken in first, would you please call Cabot and Novak at the office to let them know I'm okay? Unless you think there's time for me to do it now. I'd just hate to worry her any longer than needed."

"Go make the call," Cragen said. "I'll send Elliot first that should give you a few minutes."

"Your office?"

"Go ahead."

She nodded, running in and closing the door, picking up the phone and dialing Alex's office.

"Cabot," Alex said answering the phone. She recognized the number as Captain Cragen's line and was afraid of the information she would receive on the other end.

"Alex, let me talk to Casey, hurry! We're all fine, as far as I know, but IAB should show up any second!"

"Casey," Alex said breathing a sigh of relief hearing her voice, "it's Liv and she wants to talk to you."

Casey walked, actually more waddled, to the phone. "Baby?"

"Hi sweetheart. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine honey," Casey answered. "Stop worrying about me here. I'm in very good hands."

She sighed, leaning against the desk. "I know and, as far as I know, we're all ok, for the most part. IAB's going to be questioning us though, so I don't know when I'll be home. Have Alex take you when you want and I'll try to be in tonight and likely without my weapon."

"I will and I will see you when you get home."

"I love you. See you later."

* * *

"So everybody is fine,' Casey said as she hung the phone up, "but IAB will be all over them for the rest of the evening, which translates to desk duty for her and she wants you to take me home. That's ok. I can catch a cab to the house. I know you still have a lot of work to do."

Alex shook her head. "No, I insist. If she asked personally, I'd be happy to do it. Would you like to go now?"

"I can rest here 'til you're ready to leave. On the way, we can stop and pick up dinner, my treat. Unless you have plans this evening?"

"Nope, none. I'll even stay with you if you want to keep you company."

"Thank you. I would appreciate that."

She smiled. "Go ahead and nap for a while. I have twp arguments to put together still."

* * *

Olivia finally trudged in at about 2am. IAB had taken their sweet time. She wasn't fired or suspended, them ruling it was a clean and cut shot. They were pissed - as she knew they would be - from her disobeying ESU, but as Cragen pointed out, if she hadn't been there, things never would've gotten done that fast or clean. Cragen also had her piece and shield for three weeks and she was on desk, but, this time, she didn't mind it.

The suspect she'd shot died at the hospital, so that was on her conscience. She was shaken from her thoughts seeing Alex on the couch. She walked over after closing the door. "Alex?"

"You're home," Alex said groggily.

She nodded. "Yeah, desk duty for me for three weeks, but I don't mind. Is Casey okay?"

"Relax detective, she is sound asleep," Alex said as she sat up and stretched. "I wasn't sure what time you would make it home, so I decided to stay here. I didn't want Casey alone if something happened."

Olivia sat beside her, hugging her tightly. "Thank you. I know I'm overprotective and sure she gets sick of it."

"Olivia, that's just who you are." Alex whispered as she turned Olivia's face so she could look into her eyes. "You were the same way with me. Yes it does get annoying, but when you sit and think there are women out there that would give anything to have someone as protective as you are you realize how lucky they are."

She smiled. "Thank you very much. You can stay here tonight if you want," she said with a yawn, "it is pretty late."

"You sure?"

Olivia nodded. "I'll grab a pillow and a blanket from the closet in the nursery." She left and returned two minutes later with the items. "Hey Alex..."

"Yes?" she said looking up.

Olivia had her stand as she transformed the couch to a bed, after pushing the coffee table aside. "..Um, I just..." She couldn't bring herself to say it without repercussions. She knew that, but she also knew her eyes spoke volumes as she pulled her close and kissed her cheek. "Have a...good night."

"You too, Liv," Alex whispered knowing and understanding what Olivia wanted to say. She watched her walk up the stairs before sliding in the bed. She wondered to herself, does it ever get easier?

Olivia walked into their bedroom, kicking off her jacket, shoes and clothes before sliding into bed. Sex wasn't the objective. She just needed the closeness. She snaked her arms around Casey, kissing her bare shoulder and pulling her as close as possible, rubbing her stomach.

"You ok?" Casey whispered as she snuggled closer against Olivia.

She shook her head, burying her face in her red locks. "The...young man I...he died at the hospital."

"Baby, you did what you had to do."

She nodded. "Yeah, but it just never gets any easier. I missed you. If you want to turn over..."

Casey rolled over and opened her arms to Olivia. She knew she would be kicking herself for weeks to come over the death of the young man at her hands. Even though it was justified and needed so they could all live.

Olivia nestled onto her, laying her head on her shoulder. Her breath was shaking like the rest of her as she tried, in vain, to sleep, instead ending up staring at Casey. "I can't even sleep."

"What do you want to do then?" Casey mumbled in her sleep.

"..Mmm, I didn't plan on anything but if you want to try, go ahead."

"Not really," Casey mumbled as she rolled over the best she could and threw her arm over Olivia's hip, "they won't be still."

Olivia rested a hand on her stomach. "Shhh, Mama needs to sleep too and so do you."

"You're going to be a great mother," Casey half whispered and half slurred as she kissed Olivia on the cheek. "I love you."

She sighed. "So will you. I love you too. Do you need anything?"

Only Casey's light snore was all that was heard, the emotional roller coaster of the day taking its toll on her.

Olivia held her tightly, kissing her cheek as she watched her sleep, slowly drifting off.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14 & tummer22

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	24. Unpredictable

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 24: Unpredictable **

Casey rolled over and sighed. She was still exhausted after the day she had yesterday and she could only imagine how Olivia was feeling. As quietly as she could she made her way out of the bed and into the bathroom. She took a quick shower and headed downstairs. She was halfway downstairs when she heard a noise from the kitchen. She quickly grabbed the .38 from its hiding spot in the living room and made her way into the kitchen. She slowly opened the door without making a sound and stopped at the sight before her. Alex was standing at their coffee pot making coffee.

"Just why the hell are you here?" Casey asked lowering the gun.

Alex turned, surprised. "She...said it was okay if I stayed. Didn't want me walking around the city that time of night. I was on the pull-out couch."

"Did she now?" Casey growled as jealousy was taking over.

Alex walked over cautiously, hands up in defense. "Come on, Casey. You know you have nothing to worry about. Olivia loves you so much. And the girls. Set it down."

"How can I be so sure? Apparently, you spent the night and I didn't know. What else don't I know?" she asked placing the gun on the china cabinet.

Alex sighed. "Between how physically and emotionally exhausted she was, are you really surprised? Even after it was said and done she called asking how YOU were, wanted me to make sure YOU were safe, remember? There is nothing else. I…offered to leave, but she said it was late enough already. She loves you, Casey. She never had people check on me when these things happened."

"Why didn't she tell me? What is she trying to hide?"

Alex placed a hand on her shoulder. "She's not hiding anything. The only thing she might be keeping bottled up is guilt over shooting that young man. You know how personal she takes her job."

"What time did she get home? I vaguely remember her coming to bed and just briefly telling me about it."

"About 2am."

"You swear to me on the life of my unborn children that nothing happened?"

Alex nodded.

Olivia walked up behind her, wrapping her arms around her. "I promise. I love you and our little girls with everything I have."

Casey turned in Olivia's arms and smiled. "Nothing at all?"

She shook her head. "I promise."

Casey hung her head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry guys. With everything that's happened and the weight I put on, I guess I went overboard."

Olivia shook her head. "It makes sense, don't worry."

"Alex, I'm sorry I flipped on you," Casey said turning back around and leaning against Olivia.

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. If I heard strange noises in my house, I'd be that same way."

"Yeah, but I had no right to accuse you of sleeping with Olivia. Neither one of you have ever given me a reason to question your friendship. That was uncalled for."

Alex nodded."As long as I'm making some, coffee anyone?"

"Yes please," Casey answered, "Let me help you."

Alex nodded.

Olivia yawned. "Will you two get along while I shower?"

"We can be adults." Casey answered with a smile. She blew Olivia a kiss and waited till she was out of the room and headed up the stairs. "Seriously Alex, I'm so sorry. It's just with everything that's been going on I feel so bad. I'm not able to move around as much which leaves me relying on her more. Lately, they have had me so worn out that all I want to do is sleep. I know you don't want to hear this, but we have always had a healthy sex life that is now next to nothing. What if one day she can't control her urges and needs what then? I'll be the one to blame."

Alex shook her head. "You're not to blame. Many people feel that way during the pregnancy of their first child. I understand your being upset, believe me. And I'll never do anything, with her or to her. She loves you and she loves that you're having her children. A healthy sex life is nothing to complain about. If you're worried, talk to her."

"Any suggestions on how to start that conversation?' Casey asked seriously. "Honestly I have no clue."

Alex sighed, leaning back against the counter. "Just say it's important that you talk about something, maybe mention your insecurities..."

"I guess," Casey answered, unsure of herself. "I never used to question anything about us, me or her but since I've gotten pregnant, I question myself if she's in the shower for five extra minutes. I feel like an ass doing that."

Alex nodded. "I know, but you still need to talk to her."

"Talk to who?" Olivia asked as she walked in, freshly showered. "Is everything all right?"

Alex gave her an encouraging smile.

"Everything is fine honey," Casey said turning to face Olivia. "There are just a few things I need to talk to you about."

"Oh, well, I've got some time now. Is now okay?"

"Umm well," Casey said glancing at Alex and then back to Olivia. "How about after breakfast?"

Olivia pulled her into her arms. "Okay, what's for breakfast? Alex, are you joining us?"

"It's up to her."

"I would love you to if you can and would like to join us."

Alex nodded. "That's fine by me. What would everybody like?"

"How are you at making omelets because, apparently, eggs are all the girls want the last few days." Casey asked as she began to pull items from the refrigerator.

Alex smiled, grabbing the pans from below the stove. "Easy. What kind would you like?"

"I'll take ham and cheese," Olivia said.

Alex nodded. "And you, Casey?"

"I'll take ham, mushroom, cheese, black olives and cover it with the spicy salsa that's in the cabinet, but I can help you."

Alex shook her head. "First, why don't you just go sit with Olivia for a few minutes? It might make you feel better. You can come help in a bit."

"Alex, you're a guest in this house I will not have you cooking for us," Casey said reaching for a knife to help chop the mushrooms.

"All right, but after it's prepared, you go sit," she scooted closer. "I'm not saying talk to her about that right this second," she whispered, "but I think just being near her might...ease a few worries. She'll make you feel better. The more you hide things, the heavier that ring will feel. She'll understand."

Casey looked down at her hand and smiled when she saw the ring on her hand. That was when she realized that they had never told Alex or anyone for that fact. "Oh god Alex," Casey said as she reached out and place a hand on her arm. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner. I never wanted you to find out this way please, believe me."

Alex stopped prepping, wiping her hands and turning to face her. "I know. I believe you. You've had a lot on your mind. Mention that to her too. I bet she'll want to show you off as beautiful as you are," she said with a smile.

"Thank you,' Casey said blushing as she hugged Alex.

Alex hugged her, gently. "You're welcome. Now please let me do this for you. Go sit with her."

"I have been banished from the kitchen as well as you," Casey said as she pulled up a chair next to Olivia. "Alex insists cooking breakfast for us."

Olivia smiled, pulling her close. "Well, lucky us. How are my girls this morning?"

"Kicking up a storm as always. I think we will need to put them in gymnastics when they get old enough."

She nodded, kissing her gently. "Are you...okay? Is something wrong?"

"I just realized that we never got to tell Alex about the engagement and she had to find out by seeing the ring on my hand." Casey said sighing. "And other things."

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot too. Please, what else? I'll do anything I can to help."

"After breakfast ok?" Casey said as some things that Alex had said to her earlier started to sink in. How Olivia called to check on her and the girls after the shooting. How she made sure she would be taken care off if something happened. Something that she apparently never did with Alex.

Olivia nodded, holding her closer, kissing her temple. "I love you."

Casey smiled hearing Olivia say that to her. There was no doubt in her mind now especially after what she had learned from Alex. Now if only she could stop feeling undesirable and unwanted by her. She figured though no matter what they did or how hard Olivia would try to prove to her that she was, she would feel like this till she gave birth.

"Breakfast is served," Alex said as she walked into the dining room and stopped in her tracks. "Do I need to come back? Did I interrupt a moment?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, you're fine. I think the twins want food more than Casey does because it feels like someone beating on drums," she said with a smile before she whispered. "It'll give you a little more time to think. It's okay."

Casey smiled at Olivia before looking to Alex. "Come on in," she said as she patted the chair next to her. "Let's eat because these bottomless pits are always hungry."

Alex laughed as she placed the omelets in front of everyone and took her seat. "I'll try to remember that and keep some snacks in my desk for you. Although I truly don't see you coming in much longer."

Olivia nodded. "I might walk her in during lunch, just to get her out and about."

"You're too sweet," Casey said in a joking tone. "You're going to walk me in around lunch to get me out. Really? We both know the second the doctor says complete bed rest the only thing I'll be able to do is go to the restroom and back. Don't act like it will be any different."

She shrugged. "Just trying to help."

"I know honey. Believe me, I love the fact that you're so protective of me and the babies. As much as it aggravates me at times, I'm also thrilled you're like that. As someone pointed out to me," Casey said smiling at Alex, "there are hundreds of women of there that would give anything to have their husbands/partners to be half as attentive as you are."

Olivia smiled, placing a hand over hers. "Gee, I wonder who said that?" she asked with a laugh.

"I have no clue," Alex said as she took a bite, "but if you ask me, they seem like a genius."

Olivia nodded, finish half of her food. "And wise."

"So I've been told," Alex said laughing as she stood and began to clear the table.

"Honey, I'm going to help Alex you stay in here," Casey said as she stood and followed Alex into the kitchen.

Alex walked in, placing the dishes in the sink. "I can get this if you want."

"I know. I wanted to be a little mean and let her sweat it out in there. I know that's wrong, but I love to watch her squirm. You have to admit it is funny," Casey said with a smile on her face. "The other reason is because I wanted to say thank you. I don't know many women who would wear the shoes you wear and still try to help me out to save my relationship, not destroy it. You are an amazing woman Alex. Thank you for being my friend and confidant."

Alex smiled. "You're welcome. I'm glad she's happy. I don't know how long I'd leave her though. She might start thinking it's her."

"I know," Casey said as she turned toward the door. "I want you to know you are welcomed here anytime. I mean that," Casey said in a stern voice as she turned around to face Alex. "Any time Alex. Just remember raging hormones and it has nothing to do with you. Hell last week I basically accused Olivia of cheating on me with Fin. So please think nothing of it."

She smiled. "Will do. Now go, be with her."

"Hey handsome," Casey said her voice full of the love she felt for Olivia. "Do you have to go in today and if so what time do you have to be there?"

She shrugged. "Around 8:30. Why? What's going on?"

"Do you know what time you can escape then?" Casey asked as she carefully positioned herself in Olivia's lap with her help of course.

"Around noon. Why?"

"And then you will have the rest of the day off?"

She sighed. "No, I'll only have an hour."

"So detective," Casey said using her courtroom voice. 'At what time will you complete your shift today?"

"I have no idea."

"If my memory serves me correctly, you are on desk duty for at least the next three days so there should be no reason as to why you can't leave around five."

"Oh yeah... Forgot. Okay five."

"Great I will see you by five thirty and dinner will be on the table waiting for you," Casey said as she leaned down and kissed Olivia. "We will talk then," she whispered against her lips.

Olivia stood, hugging her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Casey said grabbing her hand and walking her to the door "You have nothing to worry about honey. I promise. Now go to work have your head on straight because you have two daughters who wants to be held by their mamma not know her through photos."

Olivia hugged her again, dropping down to kiss her stomach. "Alex, do you need a ride?"

"She doesn't," Casey answered for her. "And you need to get going before you are late. Goodbye we love you and be careful."

She smiled again, caressing her cheek. "I will."

Casey shut the door behind Olivia and turned to face Alex. "You're free for today right?"

"Why? Got something in mind?"

"I do and I will need your help."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14, tummer22, ladybugsmomma, Bkwrmchar & rasaaabe

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	25. A Helping Hand

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 25: A Helping Hand**

"I think first though we need to find you a change of clothes," Casey said grabbing Alex by the hand and leading her up the stairs. "Believe me, for what I need help with you don't want to be wearing your thousand dollar suit. Not to mention it's the same outfit you were wearing yesterday."Casey led Alex into their room and then directly into their bathroom. "Here is a fresh towel and wash cloth," she said placing the items on the counter. "I know somewhere around here we have an extra toothbrush and I will get it for you. Feel free to use whatever soap or shampoo you want that is in there. I'm going to go find you your clothes and when you are finished you can find me at the room at the end of the hall."

Alex nodded in thanks, quickly stripping and getting into the shower. The heat felt good after spending the night on the sofa bed. Fifteen minutes later, she was out, a towel around her waist as she dried her hair then brushed her teeth.

Casey quickly made her way into the room that they used as an officer. She opened the closet and made her way to the back of the closet. She opened the box that had been quote unquote hidden there since her and Olivia moved in together. It was a box of clothes that Alex had left at Olivia's apartment and when she moved she packed them in a box. At first when Casey found them she was beyond irate and ready to throw everything Olivia owned out a second story window, then she realized that other than the clothes and maybe a handful of pictures Olivia had nothing to remember her time with Alex. So as pissed as she was she decided to allow Olivia to keep those few memories. As time went on, she realized that Olivia had tossed the box at the back of the closet and never once gave it a second thought. She quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and shirt from the box and took it back in and laid it on the bed. "Alex, the clothes are on the bed. I'm going to leave and shut the door to give you some privacy.'

Alex cracked the door. "Thank you." She walked out into the room. "Hey, I thought I lost these," she said as she pulled them on, pulling her hair back, realizing Olivia must've kept them. She was very surprised Casey hadn't thrown then out. She walked down to the end of the hall.

"So here is what I would like to do today," Casey said looking up smiling when Alex walked in. "Olivia's biggest worry is getting everything done. I was hoping we could work on putting some of these together and just placing them in the center of the room. My parents have hired someone to come in and paint the room and they will be here next week. Would you be up to it or would you prefer not to?"

Alex nodded. "Sure, let's get to work. So can I ask? Are your parents happy?"

"That I'm gay or pregnant?" Casey asked pulling a box open.

"Both."

"At first no. I come from a very catholic family and how dare I go against God. As time moved on, they came around and finally started accepting it. For a while there I got a lecture about how it was wrong and I was going to burn in Hell until they met Olivia. After that they changed. I think they saw how happy and in love I was and decided to stop fighting it. When we called and told them that we were having a baby and then called them to tell them it was twins you would have thought they won the lottery. Mom calls me at least every other day wanting to help or come down."

Alex smiled. "That's really nice. Are you close?"

"We are now," Casey said as she began to try to read the instruction that was in the changing table box. "Once I came out to them we weren't."

Alex sighed. "That's good though."

"I'm looking for part B that is supposed to connect with part D using piece J," Casey said confused as ever. "Were your parents not accepting?"

Alex shook her head. "I've never told anyone this, but my father was so outraged he...tried to force me into being straight. Here's part B."

"Oh god, Alex."

She nodded. "Yeah, and I don't mean by religious practices either. Hmmm, A goes into C, E into G. Yeah, it wasn't fun."

"Alex, did you ever tell anyone?" Casey asked seriously as she placed the pieces she was holding on the ground.

She shook her head. "And admit to the whole town that would've out casted me? No thanks. As it happened, an unrelated incident took him about two years later, but it took me a good 10 to accept it for what it was and move on."

"I'm so sorry," Casey mumbled not really knowing what to say. "What about your mother though?"

"She was...shocked at first, accepted it over time. To be honest, I didn't think she would, but she loved me."

"Thankfully most parents are like that," Casey said as she caught Alex's attention. "You do know you have a family right here that loves you right? Despite what was seen and said earlier this morning."

She nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I do."

"Good now where the hell is part J, so we can get this put together preferably before Olivia comes home for lunch and discover what we are doing?"

Alex turned around, grabbing a wandering piece. "Is this it?"

"I think it is," Casey said taking it from Alex and connecting the pieces like they belonged before reading the instructions some more. "You know men had to write these instructions."

"Of course because they're so much smarter and can do anything women an do, only better!" she said, laughing.

"Yeah I forgot the superior gender," Casey said laughing with Alex. "Because we all know women need a man to survive." Once she had finally composed herself she began trying to interrupt the instructions again. "Why didn't you contact Olivia or anyone from the 16 when you came back from WPP?"

She sighed. "I don't know. It wasn't that I forgot. It just seemed out of place. I seemed out of place."

'You were always their favorite and it hurt them more than they will ever admit to that you didn't come back to them. They felt like you blamed them for what happened and couldn't stand the sight of them. It hurt Olivia and Elliot the worst. Because they were there the night you were shot."

"Why are you telling me what I already know? It's not their fault that happened. If anything, it's mine for being too stubborn. Is this put together right yet?"

"Stop," Casey whispered as she placed a hand over Alex's. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry or upset you. I was trying to understand that is all. Every time I even remotely come close to discussing this with her, she shuts me out sometime for days. I was hoping you could shed some light on it for me that is all. But to answer your question it is put together."

Alex stood, setting it up right, then sat back beside her. "The truth is...it was like time stopped for me and everyone else kept moving forward. My life was screwed while I was in Witness in that way, When I came back for the trial, I knew things would be different. Everyone was different. Yes they were happy I was back, but they weren't the same as when I left. So I told her to move on, forget me...because I didn't know if I would ever be back."

"I wish you would have contacted her when you returned not only for her, but for me. I would have loved to get to know you when I didn't have raging hormones playing havoc on me," Casey said pulling Alex in for a hug. "If you're up to it, there are a few more things to put together, unless you would rather escape. I promise no more serious discussions."

Alex shook her head. "This needs to be done, so let's get it done. It's okay," she said, hugging her. "Let's do this. For them and for Olivia."

Casey reached for the next box when she heard her phone go off. Alex stopped her as she struggled to get to her feet and quickly got her phone and handed it to her. She entered her pass code and smiled when she read the message from Olivia. It was a simple I love you but spoke volumes to her. "I love you too. Please relax and concentrate at work. We will talk when you get home. The girls miss you."

Alex sighed. "What else is there?"

"We have a bookcase to put together, the diaper genie, and the chest of drawers needs to be moved to the middle. The second crib I will save for Liv, that's her thing. I don't ask I just agree. But are you sure you want to continue this?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I do. If we get it all done, we don't have to worry about it."'

'Thanks," Casey said.

For the next two hours they quickly put the items together and had everything in the middle of the room and covered with plastic. They were almost all the way down the stairs laughing when they heard the front door open.

Olivia walked in, smiling as she saw them getting along so well. "Hi," she said, helping Casey down off the last step.

"Hi honey," Casey said as she kissed her cheek before moving on to the couch.

Alex looked at Casey and winked. "I missed you today my love," she said as she place a kiss on her other cheek and headed to the couch where Casey was trying hard not to laugh.

"Ok, who did a role reversal?" she asked with a smile. "The last I knew I was engaged to the sexy redhead, not the pretty blonde," Olivia said as she sat bedside Casey.

"I have no clue what you're talking about.' Casey feigned innocent. "What I saw was Alex saying hi."

Olivia smiled. "Really? I could do it properly, but I think it'd hurt too you much."

"It would be nice for you to tell our guest hello. I mean you have ignored her since you came in," Casey answered taking the bait and glancing at Alex to let her know.

Olivia stood. "All right, but you said so," she said, pulling Alex up and hugging her properly, kissing a line from her neck to her lips, pecking them before sitting her back on the couch.

"I swear, honey, sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do with you," Casey whispered as she laid her head on Olivia's shoulder. "If for one second I had believed any of that you would be dead right now."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, but you didn't say how to greet her so... I went with how I used to after a long day. You know I love you, right?" she said, wrapping an arm around her.

"Considering the greeting I get after a long day, oh I do handsome," Casey said blushing. "We didn't have time to prepare lunch so I hope a sandwich will do?"

"Mhm," she said as she kissed her neck. "As long as you'll stay with me!"

"Behave we have company!" Casey ordered while swatting Olivia away. "Would you like to stay for lunch Alex?"

"Actually, I should probably let you get some sleep and I should go in to see if anyone needs anything."

"Alex," Casey said placing a hand on her arm to stop her from moving. "You are welcomed to stay for lunch. Don't think you have to leave because she came home ok?"

Alex nodded. "Okay. I'll go make the sandwiches. And don't follow me. Just sit with her. I think she's missed you," she said as she got up and entered the kitchen.

"How has desk duty been?' Casey asked as she leaned against Olivia.

She sighed. "Boring, but it's work I suppose. What have you been doing?" she asked, wrapping her arms around her. "Have the girls been behaving?"

"What we have been doing is a surprise and you are not to know yet. For the most part they have been behaving, but I swear these girls will be some of the best kickers in the world."

Olivia smiled, kissing her deeply and rubbing her stomach.

Alex stopped as she started to exit the kitchen seeing them kissing. As quietly as she could, she walked backwards to give them a few more minutes of privacy. As much as it hurt her, she thanked God above that Olivia had found someone who could complete her and calm her in a way that she needed. A blind man could see how well suited they were for each other. She was once told that everything in life happens for a reason. If her being killed was for Olivia to find Casey and true love then she would take that any day of the week. After all, that woman had been through she deserved the world handed to her.

Olivia's hands went to her back, rubbing as she felt her hesitate. She broke it, seeing her lip quivering. "Casey, what's the matter, sweetie? What hurts?"

"Nothing I promise," Casey choked out.

"No, something's wrong. Please, I love you. I want to help."

Casey held Olivia's face with one hand, making sure she was looking her in the eyes. "I promise you nothing is wrong. I love you baby and I swear to you we will talk this evening after dinner ok? Just trust me on this."

Olivia sighed, wiping her eyes. "Okay, but I do love you. What can I do now?"

"Go find out if Alex needs some help. She's been in there a while now."

Olivia sighed, walking out into the kitchen. "I don't get it. What did I do?" Sh-she's...heartbroken and...and I..."

"Calm down and relax Olivia," Alex said walking toward her. "You did nothing wrong and she's not heartbroken. She's emotional right now. She has broken down and just started crying on me at least three times today. Don't think anything of it. When she tells you everything is ok and you will talk this evening believe her."

Olivia nodded. "Need any help?"

"Just grab us some drinks I think I have everything else," Alex said as she walked out of the kitchen to Casey. "You have better talk to her tonight because you have that woman at her wits end, do you understand me?"

"I will, I promise, Alex, I promise."

Olivia walked out, setting the drinks on the coffee table as she sat between them.

"I love you baby. Everything is ok," Casey whispered in Olivia's ear. "I need you to relax for me. Just because I cry doesn't mean you did something wrong. Unless you have something to confess."

Olivia nodded, biting into her sandwich. "No, I don't."

"Home by five thirty still?' Casey asked as she struggled to her feet.

Olivia stood with her. "Yes. I love you too."

"I know honey. Again, I promise you we will talk tonight."

Olivia nodded, walking out the door.

"Hey Liv, wait up!" Alex called out stopping Olivia in her tracks, "Can I catch a ride with you to the office, please?"

Olivia turned. "Yeah, come on."

"Thanks." She said as she turned toward Casey. "I really had fun today thank you. If you need anything else please call. I would love to be able to help you and Olivia as much as I can."

"Thank you Alex," Casey said hugging her quickly. "Try to keep this one out of trouble if you can."

Olivia walked to her car, waiting for Alex. She knew the rest of the day would go by slow, but hopefully much more wouldn't need to be done.

"If you're so worried about it, see if Cragen will let you have the rest of the day off?" Alex finally said breaking the tense silence in the car.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. But there's really no excuse..."

"Excuse for what?"

"Me leaving early."

"Then for the love of your two children relax. Your wife was smiling and glowing when you left that should tell you that everything is ok. Stop thinking if she has a bad day or is upset it's your fault. She started crying at the little bear on a fabric softener commercial this morning, so I promise you the emotional roller coaster is not your fault."

She smiled, laughing. "I like that bear!"

"It makes her sad, so I wouldn't bring it up if I were you," Alex said as she opened the door. "I promise you Olivia everything is fine, but she does need to talk to you and you need to listen I mean really listen ok?"

She smiled. "Okay."

* * *

The rest of the day passed sluggishly, but Casey remained on the back of her mind, though writing papers didn't require much brain power. She walked into the house as about 5, seeing Casey fast asleep on the couch. She kissed her softly.

"Mmh did you get off early?" Casey mumbled in her sleep as she ran her fingers through Olivia's hair.

Olivia sat beside her, pulling her into her arms. "Yes I did. Think you can wake up to talk?"

"Damn it. I wanted to have dinner sitting on the table ready for you," Casey said as she became more awake.

"It's okay. I'm just glad to be home."

"I'm glad your home too, baby," Casey said turning so she could look at Olivia. "You want to hear what I have to say before eating, don't you?"

"..Could I? You've been on my mind all afternoon."

"Olivia, I love you with all my heart you know that and I know you love me as well but…" Casey began and then looked to Olivia for the confidence to continue.

Olivia nodded, stroking her cheek and running a hand up into her hair. "With everything I have, sweetie."

"Lately, since I've put on the weight, I haven't felt very attractive or desirable," she said as tears started to fall from her eyes. "We use to have a very healthy sex life and now we don't. I'm so worn out that all I want to do is sleep. What if one day you decided to you know see someone on the side? I can't be mad at you I'm the one to blame. It doesn't help much that one minute I'm on cloud nine and the next I feel like someone killed my puppy."

"Casey...come here," she said, pulling her close. "You're so attractive and so sexy. You always will be. Tell me what I can do. I'll do anything."

"That's why I flipped on Alex this morning. I know you don't love her or want her in that fashion even with the show you put on this afternoon. But seeing her here when I woke up and how I've been feeling it sent me over the edge. I did apologize to her later though."

Olivia nodded. "I don't blame you for that. It's okay."

"I started crying this afternoon because of the amount of love I felt and saw all over your face when you kissed me. It was just over powering for me. Especially in how I've been feeling lately."

Olivia held her tighter, kissing her passionately, her hands roaming her back. "Casey..." she moaned, laying her on the couch.

"Please forgive me," Casey said as she ran her fingers through her hair

"You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. I know these changes are foreign to you. Let me take you upstairs, to a more comfortable surface. Please?" she nuzzled her neck. "I love you."

Casey sighed as she nodded yes. She needed to feel the closeness of Olivia be held in her arms. Have that feeling of safety and security surround her like it always did in her arms.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14, tummer22 & ladybugsmomma

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	26. Secure

**WARNING: This chapter contains Adult Content.**

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 26: Secure**

Olivia walked her upstairs, laying her on their bed, pulling her shirt from her and kissing her neck. "Mmm, I love you," she said, running her hands through her hair.

"I love you too," Casey whispered as she arched into Olivia's touch.

Olivia shed her jacket as well as her shirt, sucking on Casey's collarbone. Her hands slid under Casey's back, unclasping her bra and tossing it to the floor sucking on her breasts.

"Easy, they're really tender," Casey whispered pushing Olivia back to her breast when she tried to pull away.

Olivia pulled up. "Sorry," she said, kissing her, going back to sucking on the more gently. "Better?"

"Yeah," she groaned as her breath became quicker and shallower.

Olivia rubbed her breasts gently, kissing her. "Ready for more?"

Casey nodded, unable to find her voice.

Olivia pulled back, discarding Casey's remaining clothes, as well as her own, before laying beside her, pulling her close. "What do you want? Just tell me."

"Be desired and wanted," Casey whispered. "How you're making me feel right now."

Olivia kissed her again, running her fingers through her hair, as one blazed a trail to between her legs. "I love you," she whispered, running her finger around her clit. "I need you, with me, do you want that?" she asked gently.

"Always and forever."

She smiled, holding her against her as she ventured two fingers in, thrusting them in and out. "You're so warn, baby, so wet. I've missed you so much. Tell me if you want it faster," she breathed in her ear.

Casey met Olivia thrust for thrust as she ran her nails up and down Olivia's back. The amount of gentleness Olivia was using made her heart swell with love. "I'm yours always and forever," Casey whispered in her ear knowing the words to use that would send Olivia over the edge. "The feel of your fingers in me, how you know just how to curve them just the right depth to use. It's amazing. You're amazing."

Olivia kissed her, going a little faster, palm up, hitting her clit. "No, sweetie, you're amazing. You've agreed to marry me and are giving me the greatest gift you ever could. I love you so much," she murmured into her neck. "Please let go."

Casey wanted to extend their love making for as long as possible, but the second Olivia flattened her palm over her clit she was gone. Then hearing Olivia asking her to let go was all she could take. She screamed her release as she held on tight to Olivia needing that anchor.

Olivia held tighter, Casey's tremors invoking her own. "C-Casey, oh, yes...Casey!" she called into her neck.

"I love you." Casey held tight to Olivia as they both came down.

"I love you," she whispered once Olivia was looking at her. She was reaching up to kiss her when she gasped and a hand flew to her stomach.

"What is it?"

"They're kicking together. They usually take turns but their kicking in sync now. Feel," Casey said as she placed Olivia's hand on her stomach. "In perfect rhythm."

Olivia kissed her gently, running her other hand through her hair. "Just like us," she said smiling. "I'm sorry. Next time, please just say you need me, need us. I'll be here."

"Let's get one thing straight right now. I will always need you. Don't think for a minute that I don't."

"I know, but I mean this. Just say the word. I know the job tires me out and I'd never mean to make you feel neglected or unappreciated. I'm sorry you felt that way."

"Stop," Casey whispered as she placed a finger on Olivia's lips. "You expect so much of yourself and you can only stretch yourself so far. Baby, you should be beyond breaking right now, but instead you are still going strong. My only guess could be from years of discipline and training on the job. It wasn't so much as you were making me feel that way as myself was making me feel that way. I'd look in the mirror and instead of seeing this beautiful, glowing, hot woman that you see, I saw a woman that was, in my eyes, as big as a whale. One where I didn't see one thing attractive about myself. Do you understand?"

"..Yeah, but I think you are very attractive."

"I know you do baby. It wasn't so much as you as it was me."

"Your body is supposed to change...a lot, but that doesn't mean I don't think you're as beautiful as ever."

"I know and I'm struggling with the changes, but honey, don't feel as if you have to take on everything ok? Or that you're a failure if you feel as if you have *let me down* or as you put it *not there for me*."

Olivia shook her head. "It's hard. I want to be here for you as much as I can. I want you to know that you can depend on me, but I just work so much."

"I know you do. Let's face reality here ok? There are going to be times that I can't be there for you just like there are going to be times you can't be there for me. It's not going to end us or anything. Yes, we will both feel hurt, but in the end we will come out stronger than before. We always do."

Olivia nodded, snuggling into her, rubbing her stomach. "Why haven't I met your parents in person yet?"

"To begin with, they hate coming to New York and I think the only time they ever came here is when I moved here and they helped me. Finally, it's not like our job allows for many vacation. I have more court cases than there are days in a year. The squad has four detectives to work Special Victims in a city where an average of eight rapes occur daily. This isn't a division where someone can just fill in either."

She nodded again. "True, but you said they were over the moon when they heard you were having twins, right? Wouldn't that be a good reason to go before they're born?"

"I would say so, if they weren't wanting to come here and visit."

"Why don't you give them a call tomorrow and we'll go up sometime this week? We should do it before you go on bed rest."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, and you can show if your ring too."

"Can I now?" Casey said laughing. "Do you mind if they come up right before the girls are born? They really want to be here for the birth."

She bit her lip. "As long as they don't fight about my being in the room with you. Because I will be in that room. No one, nothing is going to stop me. These are our baby girls," she said with a smile.

"They know that. They know you make me happy and that's all they care about."

"You know, it is best if we go up this week because as long as I'm on desk duty, I'll be off by 5:30."

"I can call them and find out?"

"Do me a favor and please get dressed before you leave the room, unless you want me to ravish you again...and again," she said with a smile.

Casey nodded as she grabbed her robe from the bed and slipped it on. After what seemed like an eternity, Casey walked back in the room with a big smile on her face."They would be delighted if we came to visit them."

Olivia sat up. "Did they say when?"

"Anytime," Casey answered as she slid back in bed and into Olivia's waiting arms.

"Do you want to go up this week?"

"I was thinking this weekend. Leave on Thursday and come back on Sunday.

Olivia nodded. "Sounds perfect. I'll talk to Cragen tomorrow. Would you object to me if I kissed the twins and worked my way south?"

"Mmh not at all," Casey moaned as she laid back against the bed.

Olivia crawled to the foot of the bed, kissing all over her stomach before going south to suck on her clit.

Casey threaded her fingers through Olivia's hair and held her tight against her.

Olivia took to nipping at her clit, humming against her slit, moaning as she felt her hands in her hair.

Casey moaned as she felt Olivia nipping her clit. She could feel the fire starting to build lower in her stomach. She pulled Olivia even tighter against her. It felt as if she couldn't get enough of her tonight.

Olivia's tongue slithered into her. She moaned at the wetness and warmth, her hands going up to rub her stomach.

Casey released Olivia's head to place her hand on top of Olivia's. "I love you," she breathed as she began to crest over the cliff.

"I love you too," she mumbled, sucking on the spot, swirling her tongue.

Casey screamed as her release hit her wave after wave. She tightened her grip around Olivia's hand and tugged at her letting her know she wanted her closer to her.

Olivia stopped, drinking up what was there as she kissed the spot over and over, licking up the excess before crawling up to lay beside her. "I figured you'd like that," she said, pulling her close

"Mmh," Casey hummed as her eyes drifted shut and she held onto Olivia tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, kissing her cheek, holding her tight.

"Have I told you lately that you are amazing?" She whispered as she trailed her fingers down Olivia's side.

"No, you haven't."

"You are," Casey whispered as her fingers circled Olivia's opening. "You work so hard to give me and the girls a great life. Always there when we need you," she whispered as she thrust two fingers in deep.

She gasped, moaning into her neck. "I try," she whispered, "but I'm far from perfect."

"You're perfect for me." Casey moaned as she began to move faster and deeper in Olivia adding a third finger and curving them just right. She knew she was hitting the right spot when Olivia started bucking her hips off the bed. Carefully, she partially position herself on top of Olivia giving her the closeness she loved as she came.

Olivia buried her face in her shoulder, grabbing her hair, screaming for her. "Casey! Yes! Yes! Right there! Oh God! I-I love you...so much!"

"I love you too," Casey whispered. "Now let go for me."

Olivia nodded, screaming into her again as she fell hard over the edge. "C-CASEY! GOD! YESSSSS! CASEY!"

Casey coaxed Olivia through her aftershocks and kissed Olivia's temples making a trail to her mouth. She pulled back and looked into those beautiful brown orbs I love you she mouthed before claiming her lips.

Olivia hugged her tightly, her trembling decreasing in the warmth and love from her, kissing her passionately as her hands ran through her hair.

Casey hummed as she laid her head on Olivia's chest. She smiled hearing the rhythm of Olivia's heart beat as it slowed to the strong steady beat she that brought her peace and comfort. She ran her fingers up and down Olivia's arm as she began to drift off.

Olivia sighed, rubbing her back. "Sleep, baby."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14 & ladybugsmomma

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	27. First Meeting

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 27: First Meeting**

Olivia woke early that morning, loading the bags into their car. She was still going to wake Casey early enough to shower, but before then, she made pancakes, eggs and bacon with orange juice, putting it on a tray and walking back into their bedroom, setting it on the stand beside her. She kissed her cheek and placed a hand over hers on her stomach. "Good morning, Casey."

"Good morning, my love," Casey whispered as she rolled over and pulled Olivia closer to deepen the kiss.

Olivia helped her sit up, setting the tray over her lap. "I made you breakfast and while you eat I'm going to shower and when I'm done you can, okay? Our bags are already in the car."

"Aren't you going to eat breakfast?" She asked as she began to eat the bacon.

"There's a little left on a plate in the kitchen that I'll eat when I get out, unless you'd like me to eat now and we can shower together. That'd be okay with me," she said with a smile.

"Please?" Casey asked as she took a drink and looked at Olivia over the glass.

She smiled, sitting next to her in bed with her arm around her. "And how are our babies this morning?" she asked, grabbing a strip of bacon.

"Kicking and punching as always," Casey answered as she relaxed back against Olivia. "Thankfully not at once this time."

She smiled. "Yeah, but when they were in sync it was amazing."

"If you want any sleep, when they are born, you better pray they stay in sync too. Otherwise we are screwed."

Olivia kissed her cheek. "Absolutely. Have you thought of names yet?"

"I have not," Casey said placing the tray on the nightstand and standing to her feet. "I'm scared that if we come up with names that something will happen."

Olivia stood too, wrapping her arms around her. "There's always a chance, but everything is going so good now. Don't you think it's time we start?" she asked, wrapping an arm around her as they walked to the bathroom.

"You have a name chosen already, don't you?" she asked as she turned the water on and felt the temperature to make sure it was right.

She sighed. "Only one, but it doesn't seem right. Even in memory," she said as she got undressed.

"Olivia Benson, tell me what name you have chosen!" Casey ordered as she stepped into the shower and sighed as the water began to massage sore muscles.

Olivia smiled, stepping in behind her. "Well, aren't we extra bossy this morning?" she said, playfully. "Serena."

"The girls are bossy today," Casey said glancing over her shoulder to Olivia. "Honey, if you want to name one of the girls after your mother that is more than fine with me."

She smiled, grabbing the shampoo and lathering up her own long locks. "Serena Novak-Benson., catchy."

"Then it's settled, one of the girls will be named Serena Novak-Benson. Have you thought of a second name or just that one?"

"Just one. You get the other. Here's the shampoo," she said, handing it off.

"Thanks," Casey said taking the shampoo and quickly began to wash her hair. Once they were finished they stepped out of the shower, dried off, and dressed quickly. "Are you ready for this nice, long flight?" she asked as she headed out of the bedroom.

Olivia dried off, quickly redressing. "Yeah, a couple books to read. You?"

"By the time we make it on the plane I will be exhausted again, so I will probably sleep most of the flight."

She nodded. "We should get there early enough. Security is a bitch if I'm not working."

"I'm ready whenever you are."

Olivia ran a comb through her damp hair, buttoning her jacket, taking her are. "Then we're off to the races," she said, laughing as she helped her out to the car.

* * *

It didn't take as long as they thought it would to get through security, considering most of the TSA agents there knew Olivia from work. In no time at all, they were sitting at their gates waiting their turn to load onto the plane. "Is there anything you want to do while out in California?" Casey asked as she tried to reposition in the chair she was sitting in.

"Baby shopping? Maybe a few maternity outfits so you don't need to always wear my oversized t-shirts. Is there anything you want to do?"

"For the record, I happen to love to wear your clothes," Casey said, looking away before she continued, "it helps me feel connected to you when you're not there."

Olivia nodded. "I know, but if there's something you like. You can sit in my lap for a bit if the chair is too uncomfortable."

Casey smiled as she reached for Olivia's hand. "Thank you," she whispered as tears started to form in her eyes.

"You're welcome," she said, smiling and sitting her in her lap. "Oh, don't cry," she said, wiping her eyes.

"I don't even know why I'm crying," Casey said half laughing and half crying. "I hate feeling like this."

Olivia rocked her gently. "It's the hormones, sweetie. It won't last forever. It's okay."

"I know. It gets aggravating at times especially when I know you feel as if you always did something wrong when I cry or have an episode that's off the wall."

"It's still going to be okay. I'll make it okay."

"You do just by being here with me."

She smiled. "Good."

Casey leaned against Olivia and was almost asleep when she heard the stewardess calling for their plane to board. The last thing she wanted to do since she had just gotten comfortable was move. She groaned as she stood to her feet unsteady.

Olivia stood behind her, steadying her, supporting her. "We can go slow if we need to. There's a wheelchair if you think you need it."

"I stood up too fast," Casey answered as she leaned back into Olivia. Lately it seemed as if she couldn't touch or be around Olivia enough. "Give me a minute."

Olivia stood still, knowing the lift in her voice. Ever since she'd become pregnant, it seemed her libido worked overtime. Not that she minded, but now wasn't the time or place for it. "It's going to be okay. Just slow down."

"I think I'm ready," Casey said as she took a step forward but quickly grabbing Olivia's hand to maintain that connection she craved. Slowly, together, they made their way to the gate and then on the plane. She finally released Olivia's hand when she found their seats.

Olivia sat her down, placing the pillow she'd brought behind Casey's back as she sat down. "Better?"

Casey nodded unable to answer suddenly finding herself choked up by Olivia's actions.

Olivia hugged her gently. "Shh," she kissed the tears away.

"I love you," Casey whispered as she laid her head back and closed her eyes.

Olivia stroked her cheek after, buckling them both in. "I love you too."

Casey smiled as she began to drift off to sleep.

Olivia pulled out a book from her carry-on, beginning to read. "Sleep well my girls."

* * *

Casey woke with a jerk screaming Olivia's name. She grasped wildly at the strap that was holding her down and began hitting the person who was trying to grab her.

Olivia gently grabbed her. "Casey! Casey, sweetie! It's okay, it's okay... Calm down."

"You're ok, you're alright!" Casey cried grabbing Olivia and pulling her to her.

"Shhh, shh, shh. Yes baby. I'm fine. Tell me what happened?"

"You shot. I saw you fall and blood pour out around you." Casey gasped as she tried to catch her breath.

Olivia undid Casey's belt, pulling her into her lap, her back to the aisle. "Shh, okay. Calm down. I'm fine. I'm right here, bullet free. With you," she said, rocking her gently as a stewardess walked up.

"Ma'am, we're getting ready to land she needs to be back in her seat and buckled up."

Olivia nodded, sitting her back and buckling her. "Lay your head on my shoulder. Hold my hands. It's going to be okay."

"I'm sorry," Casey choked out as she tried to gather her emotions. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay. Don't worry. I'm right here. I'm okay," she said, kissing her tears away.

Casey jumped when the plane first touched down. "Sorry I've always hated that," she said when she felt Olivia hold her tighter. She relaxed against Olivia as the plane pulled up to the gate and they could stand. "Let's wait," she said when Olivia began to unbuckle her seatbelt.

Olivia nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I don't want to be jostled by a bunch of people. Not to mention I'm a little comfortable where I am at the moment."

She nodded, unbuckling the belts.

Once most of the people had exited the plane Casey squeezed Olivia's hand to let her know she was ready to leave. With Olivia's help she was able to get to her feet. She was reaching for the overhead compartment when she was stopped.

Olivia held her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing I promise you." Casey said turning in Olivia's arms. "It was a bad dream and not something I care to talk about at the moment. Can we get our bags and go?"

She nodded. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay," she said, reaching overhead and grabbing their carry-ons. She handed Casey the handle to hers and she took her own as she helped her along.

Casey smiled feeling Olivia's hand on her back. The possessiveness she felt by that simple action sent her desire for the overprotective detective through the roof. She was almost to the rental car booth when she stopped and turned to face her. "I have nightmares that you didn't make it out of the precinct from the shooting. I watched you get shot and no one did anything to help you. That is what that was on the plane. I don't have them when you're holding me or touching me. It's like my subconscious knows you're there. When you're not I have them."

Olivia stopped. "I'll ask Cragen about cutting my hours earlier, okay? Don't worry. I'll make it better."

"I don't want you to feel as if you have to do that. I just wanted you to know what that was on the plane. I'm not asking nor expecting you to cut your hours or quit your job because I have a few nightmares. I knew what I was getting into when I started dating an officer. Now let's get the car and get to my parents."

Olivia nodded, going to the desk and getting the keys. Before they knew it, they were on their way.

"Turn here and it's going to be the fifth house on the left," Casey said pointing ahead of them. "There, the blue house with white trim that's it."

Olivia nodded, doing so and turning into the driveway, killing the engine before going to help her out and up the steps.

"You ready?" Casey asked as she raised her hand to knock. "Not too late to leave. I haven't knocked yet."

Olivia shook her head, her hand on Casey's stomach. "I'm okay."

Before Casey could knock on the door the door was jerked open. "Casey, Olivia!" her mother said pulling Casey tight against her. "We were beginning to worry."

Olivia helped her in. "Sorry about that."

"So, we finally met in person after all those phone calls," Casey's father said, stepping in the room. "Mind telling me why you haven't allowed my daughter to visit before?"

"My work," she said. "I wanted to be able to come along and we know she'll be on bed rest soon, so we figured we should come now," she said coolly.

"So, you dictate what my daughter can and cannot do?" He asked ignoring the look he was getting from Casey.

Her face steeled. "No, but I wanted to come up as well. I just like to take good care of her."

"So I've been told," he said as his face broke into a smile. "If the glow around my daughter is any indication on how well you take care of her, I'd say she's spoiled rotten." He finished his statement pulling his only daughter to him in a tight hug. "I've missed you princess."

"I've missed you too, Dad."

Olivia's face relaxed as she sighed and smiled. "I try."

"As long as you keep that look on her face," Charles said as he wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulder and led her away from Casey, "we will get along just fine. But the first time it's gone, I don't care if you're a cop or not. I'll kill you. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "Yes sir. Though I doubt she'll be all smiles when those two finally arrive, but I will do my best. Casey, maybe you should sit down."

Casey smiled at Olivia the love she felt for the brown haired woman shining through. "I will in a minute, honey. I'm going to run our bags up to the room we're staying in."

Olivia pulled away. "No you won't. Not with how shaky you are on your feet. Let me bring them in and then you can come show me where they go, okay?"

"Honey, I can get them."

"Casey, you could barely get up from your seat on the plane. I'd hate to have you bend and fall..."

"You know I'm pregnant not an invalid right?" Casey asked as she wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck running her fingers through her hair at the nape of her neck. "But I will not fight you on this. I'll be waiting in here when you come in ok?"

Olivia nodded, kissing her cheek. "If you really want to, but I'd prefer you were off your feet a few minutes."

Casey shook her head as she watched Olivia walk out the door. She loved that she was protective, but she had a feeling that the way her dad just talked to her it was going to be even worse over the weekend. She slowly sat down on the couch leaning back and closing her eyes. She was shocked at how tired she was after she slept most of the flight here.

Minutes later, Olivia walked back in.

"She always this tired?" Sandra asked coming to offer her assistance.

She nodded. "The kids are active and tire her out quite easily."

"Why not wake her and help her into bed? Get her more comfortable."

Olivia nodded. "Would you like me to?"

Sandra nodded. "Don't feel as if you need to treat her any different just because you are here. If you would wake her at home and get her to bed then do it. IF you think she would rather be left alone then do that."

Olivia handed her the bag she'd had, going over to sit by her, kissing her cheek. "Baby, let's get you to a bed to sleep. You'll be more comfortable, okay?"

"I'm sorry I'm so tired," Casey mumbled as she leaned against Olivia sighing at the contact she felt.

"No, It's okay. Come on, let's get you guys upstairs," she said helping her up and beginning the stars. "Take it easy, sweetheart. I'm here."

Casey stumbled, but caught herself as she entered the room. With the help of Olivia, she was able to get out of her shoes and pants. She mumbled something incoherent as she slid under the sheets and rolled over falling back to asleep in no time at all.

Olivia sat on the bed, kissing her gently and kissing her stomach twice, laying her hand on it. "I love you. You'll never know how much."

"Olivia," Sandra whispered feeling bad for interrupting the scene before her. "Why not let her rest and come downstairs? I have a fresh pot of coffee and would like to know what you would like for dinner tonight."

She turned, standing up, kissing her forehead. "I'd love a cup," she said, following her downstairs.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14 & ladybugsmomma

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	28. Coming Clean

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 28: Coming Clean**

"OLIVIA!" Casey sat up in the bed screaming at the top of her lungs "HELP HER. SOMEONE HELP HER!"

Olivia shot from her seat, running up and to her side. "Casey!"

"HELP HER! HELP HER!" She kept screaming still stuck in her nightmare.

Olivia threw the covers off of the bed, sitting her up and pulling her close. "Casey! I'm right here. Can't you feel my arms around you? I'm safe with you. I'm right here."

"Olivia?" Casey said hesitantly as she shook uncontrollably in her arms. "You're ok?"

Olivia nodded, pulling her into her lap, rocking her gently. "Yes baby, I'm right here. I've got you."

"Do you need anything?" Sandra asked from where she and Charles was standing at the door watching everything.

"Maybe a glass of water," Olivia said. "Come on, baby. It's not real. I've got you," she said, rubbing her back. "I love you. Please come back to me. I need you."

Casey pushed Olivia back and began to frantically run her hands all over Olivia body. As soon as she was done she grabbed Olivia by the collar and jerked her back to her. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!" she growled before roughly capturing Olivia's lips with her own.

Shocked, she kissed her back gently, rubbing her back. "Shh."

"Here's the water." Sandra announced as she walked in.

Casey jumped hearing her mom's voice and buried her head in Olivia's shoulder before slowly pulling back and looking at her mother. "Sorry," she said weakly. "I have nightmares sometimes."

Olivia held her against her. "A lot actually, but it's okay now."

Charles glared at Olivia before softening his face as he looked at his daughter. She was still trembling in Olivia's arms, but not as bad as when they first came in. He glared one more time at Olivia letting her know he was waiting downstairs for an explanation of the nightmares before leading Sandra from the room and back down the stairs.

Olivia sighed. "I have to tell them, Case."

"It's my fault," Casey said as she gathered herself and began to stand. "Let me freshen up in the bathroom and I'll go explain everything."

"It's not your fault! I'm not there to help you."

Casey stopped in her tracks hearing the tone that Olivia was using she turned slowly and purposefully "I suggest you change your tone right now."

"But it's true, Casey! I should be home at night," she said more gently.

"You're home when I need you the most," Casey said turning back around and heading to the bathroom. "We've already had this discussion and I have no desire to repeat it."

She nodded. "I know, but..."

"There are no buts here. We have had this discussion. We ARE NOT having it again. Now give me a few minutes and we can go explain everything to my parents," she said shutting the door a little harder than she intended to.

Olivia nodded, sitting in wait.

Casey quickly washed her face and calmed her nerves before opening the bathroom door. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Olivia sitting on the bed waiting for her. "You waited," she said in a voice full of shock and surprise.

Olivia nodded. "Of course I did, beautiful," she said extending her hand, smiling.

Casey smiled as she took Olivia's hand and pulled her to her. "I really thought you would take it upon yourself and take full blame of explaining to mom and dad."

She nodded. "I will, if they place it on me, then promise I'll never let it happen again."

"No, we will carry it together." Casey said taking her hand and leading her down the stairs to where her parents were. "Is that coffee I smell?" She asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Of course," her father answered with a smile. "You know where everything is help yourself."

Olivia let go as she took a seat at the table.

Casey quickly fixed herself a cup of coffee. Sometimes she was so much like her dad it wasn't funny. Much like him she could drink it from sun up till sun down. Had it not been for his insistence and that pesky don't ask don't tell rule the military had years ago, she would have followed in his footsteps and joined the army. Then again had she done that she would have never gone to law school, wound up in New York and be engaged to a beautiful woman who worked hard to take care of her. She turned from the counter and smiled at Olivia. "Want a refill, baby?"

Olivia smiled. "Sure."

"It was the day we discovered that the twins were both girls. We went to the station to tell the guys she works with when at the last minute she wanted to do it later said she had a gut feeling not to go in there." She glanced over at Olivia and smiled as she continued. "If there was anything I've learned throughout the years is to trust her gut. We were getting ready to pull away when we heard gun shots from inside. When we were a few blocks away she radioed it in. I told her to go back. I went to the office and waited with Alex Cabot, my co-worker, till I got word that everything was ok."

"Honey, is this the same Alex Cabot you told us that came back from the dead? The one that Olivia was head over heels in love with, That Alex Cabot?"

Casey groaned and shook her head. Now her mother chose to remember a conversation they had the night before Liam Conner's trial. Just her luck.

Olivia nodded. "Yes, but we've both moved on and Alex has been a very good friend to us. To tell you both the honest truth, the second I saw Casey, it was over with Alex."

"That was before we even started dating. I'll explain that later," Casey whispered into Olivia's ear. It looked like this vacation was going to be spent explaining a lot that she really didn't want to explain. "As I was saying," she said turning to face her parents, "Olivia was able to get into the building and help her co-workers out. She ended up taking the life of the shooter and is currently on desk duty which is how we're able to come out here. Because of that I have nightmares from time to time. Olivia was the one shot and I saw everything. It only happens though if she's not with me like earlier. I sleep just fine when she's in the bed with me or holding me on the couch."

Olivia put a hand over hers, smiling when she realized she'd left out a detail that was as plain as day. "Casey, aren't you forgetting what happened outside before the shooting?"

"No, I don't think so.' Casey said with a mischievous look in her eye. "Oh wait yeah. I wanted to go and tell Alex first because she been such a good friend and so help since I'm on so much restriction due to this being a high risk pregnancy. So we told her first and then went to the station."

"No, that's not it..."

"I don't think I've left anything out."

"Casey Novak, I believe she's referring to the nice-sized engagement ring you're wearing," her mother answered.

Olivia smiled. "Yes, that's it."

"I know I just love to tease her," Casey said laughing as she pulled Olivia to her and kissed her gently on the lips. "Why don't you tell this part."

"Um ok. We got to the precinct and I walked over, but instead of helping her out, I got on one knee, holding the ring. She said yes before I could give an explanation."

"Casey, you're supposed to wait till they say what they have to say," Sandra said laughing.

"I saw the ring and her on one knee that was all I needed."

"Yeah Casey! It's not nice!" Olivia said laughing.

"Hey, you got the answer you wanted. You know I could have said no."

"Yeah, that's true, but still..."

"I would have never told you no," Casey whispered in Olivia's ear. "I can't and don't want to imagine one minute of my life without you."

Olivia smiled, kissing her cheek, laying a hand on her stomach. "Well, the kids sure like that promise."

Casey laid her head on Olivia's shoulder and closed her eyes. How complete she could make her feel just being in the same room still amazed her to this day.

"Olivia, what are you doing to help Case with the nightmares?" Charles asked looking directly at her with cold, unfeeling eyes.

"All that I can when I'm home, which is what you saw."

"I get the impression that you are not home a lot. Am I right?"

Olivia knew she was shaking, but she couldn't let it show. She sighed, nodding. "I haven't taken leave yet because she wants me to wait."

Casey placed her hand on Olivia's thigh and squeezed it to get her attention. Once she was looking at her, she mouthed 'it's ok' before turning to face her father. "That's enough Dad," Casey said matching his look with one of her own. "Olivia is there when I need her the most and that's what matters to me. She didn't know about the nightmares till I had one on the plane today. I had been keeping them from her. She has enough to worry about as it is without this added stress. From this moment on, neither of you will mention to her about these nightmares or the amount of time she is at work. Do both of you understand?"

Sandra and Charles looked at each other wide-eyed before looking back at Casey and agreeing with her. They had never seen her so defensive or vocal about a lover before.

Olivia wrapped both arms around her, closing her eyes and laying her head on her shoulder. "I think that trip on the plane gave me major jet lag. I'm exhausted."

"Why don't you go and take a nap?" Casey whispered as she reached behind her to run her hands through Olivia's hair. "I think I'll stay down here and help mom get dinner ready."

She nodded, kissing her cheek three times before making her way upstairs. Kicking off her shoes she pulled the covers back on getting underneath before falling asleep from exhaustion.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14 & ladybugsmomma

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	29. Take Heed

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

**Chapter 29: Take Heed**

Casey stood and took her cup to the counter for another refill. "Mom, any plans on what we're having for dinner or do you want to go out?"

"We could go out once Olivia comes back down. Where do you want to go?"

"I have no preference, but let me warn you she may be out for a while. She's been working a lot and as soon as she gets home she tries to do everything that needs to be done."

"Trying to make up for being gone," Sandra said. "Honey, why don't you go up too? I know you didn't sleep much."

"It's ok, Mom," Casey said hoping the blush she felt creeping up her wasn't evident. "Between sleeping on the plane and here I feel fine at the moment besides I want to spend some time with both of you."

"Talking about what?"

"Nothing in particular unless there is something you guys want to talk about."

"Do you two plan to do any baby shopping while you're here? What do you need?"

"I believe Olivia wants to do some shopping while we're out here. She did say something about me getting a few maternity outfits. As for what we need, honestly, I'm not sure. We have both cribs, changing table, a chester drawer, and a diaper genie. All of which I have managed to get put together thanks to Alex's help. You hiring someone to come in and paint the room takes a load off both of our minds."

She smiled. "We're glad to help. Is there something specific you want for the nursery?"

"I want one of those video baby monitors. I know it will help both of us, especially Olivia, sleep better if we could just wake up and see them on the monitor."

Sandra turned to Charles. "I don't think that would be a problem. We could pay to have it installed and mount a TV on the wall. What do you think?"

"Mom, Dad, you're already paying to have the nursery painted. Just a simple one with a monitor will do. You don't have to go all out."

She sighed. "Okay, whatever you want. Anything else?"

"I can't think of anything else at the moment. You might want to ask Olivia when she wakes up. There may be something specific that she wants and hasn't told me about."

"All right. Honey, go up. You look dead on your feet, Please?"

"Lord mother, you're starting to sound like Olivia."

"Maybe so, but I bet she'll appreciate it. You'll feel fine one moment, but not the next. You should appreciate the moments of quiet while you have them. They'll be few and far between."

Casey laughed. "We do appreciate our moments of peace and quiet believe me. If it will make you feel better, I'll go lay down, but believe me, I feel fine."

Sandra nodded. "If you need anything, let us know."

"I will Mom. I love you guys," Casey said as she made her way out of the kitchen and toward their bedrooms. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of her lover in her bed. A few stray strands of hair had fallen across her forehead and was slightly covering her eyes. She was in desperate need of a haircut, but what really got to her was the expression on her face. She was in the middle of her own nightmare. Casey carefully approached, but stopped in her tracks when she heard Olivia cry out her name and begged her not to leave her. "Honey, wake up. You're having a nightmare," Casey whispered into her ear.

Olivia woke with a jolt. "Huh? Oh...yeah, but I'm sure it's nothing."

"Scoot over," Casey said as she pulled the covers back to join her. "It wasn't nothing. You were begging me not to leave. Talk to me."

Olivia shook her head, wrapping her arms around her, taking in her scent. "..The kids. There was this huge accident and the roads were blocked. I couldn't get you there. I...tried to do it myself, but you...you bled out. The girls were in my arms. I tried and I failed... I don't ever want that to happen!" she cried, burying her head in her neck.

Casey just pulled Olivia tighter against her and let her cry. She ran her hand up and down her back trying to calm her knowing there was really no way to rid her of this fear until she delivered the babies safe and sound.

Olivia turned on her side to hold her more securely, trying to calm down, but she knew she was shaking harder than ever.

"Just try to relax," Casey whispered as she kissed her. "The kids and I are fine and we are going to be ok. Do you want to know why?"

She nodded against her.

"Because I know you will do whatever it takes to take care of your family. God forbid, if you were ever in that position, you would invent a new lane of travel on the side and still get us to the hospital all laws be damned."

Olivia sighed. "What's your name? I picked one already."

Casey laughed a deep hearty laugh. "Honey, I haven't thought of one but I promise you before the weekend is over we will have a name for our second daughter ok?"

Olivia nodded, kissing her. She didn't know why she wanted more. Maybe just to be close to Casey?

"Honey, my parents are right downstairs," Casey said as she stopped Olivia's hand before it made it any farther down her stomach. "Let's wait till they are in bed at least. There is no telling when they will decide to open that door and no a lock won't stop them."

"Damn, well, okay. But I still want to sleep with you," she whispered, snuggling closer. "For the record, it was worth a shot."

"For the record, I have wanted to make love to you since the airport," Casey said sighing feeling Olivia's arms wrap around her tighter. "I really think we should have rented a motel room as well."

"Yeah, that is a great thought, but we can't do that now without insulting them."

"No and, to be honest, I like being here. I don't get to see them or talk to them enough."

"I understand that, but privacy Vs...this?"

"Would you rather get a motel room?" Casey asked trying to hold the hurt out of her voice. "We can make up some reason to go to one."

Olivia shook her head. "No, if you want to be here, we'll be here. It's okay. Even if we don't, it's only 4 days."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, if you're happy, I'm happy."

"I love you," Casey mumbled as she started to drift off to sleep.

"I love you too," she said, kissing her cheek.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	30. Loving Touch

**WARNING: This chapter contains Adult Content.**

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl

**Chapter 30: Loving Touch**

Casey rolled over and reached for Olivia only to find an empty bed. She stretched as she threw the covers off her. Once she had located her slippers, she ran her fingers through her hair. After making sure she was somewhat presentable, she made her way down the stairs hoping that Olivia was still in one piece once her parents were finished with her.

Olivia was sitting in the living room, reading, Casey's parents nowhere in sight.

"Should I be worried or relieved that my parents are nowhere in sight?" Casey asked as she sat next to Olivia.

Olivia looked over. "Relieved. They went to get you that video monitor system you said you want. Insisted on picking it themselves. They said they might be a few hours."

"No honey, that makes me worried. My mother wanted to have a camera installed in the twins' room and a TV-sized monitor installed in our bedroom. I told them they are doing more than enough hiring painters for the room they didn't need to buy all that. A simple baby and camera monitor combo would work."

"Oh...well, do you want to do after them or utilize the time some other way?"

"How long ago did they leave?"

Olivia looked at the wall clock. "About 20 minutes ago. Do you want to go after them?"

"And they said they would be a couple of hours?"

She nodded. "Yes. Why?"

"How into that book are you?" Casey asked with a slight twinkle in her eye.

She threw it to the couch, standing. "What book?"

"You are one smart woman Olivia Benson," Casey said reaching for Olivia as she stood.

Once she was on her feet she pulled Olivia as close to her as she could with her protruding stomach. "I suggest you get me up stairs as quickly as possible."

Olivia smiled, supporting her back, as they carefully made their way up. She sat Casey on the bed before going over to close and lock the door, before going to sit beside her, pulling her close. "You lead," she whispered.

Casey grabbed Olivia by the collar pulling her tight against her and kissed her with the same fever she did earlier after her nightmare. She broke when they were both gasping for air. She began fumbling with the buttons unable to get her hands to cooperate. "Help me," she growled, "if you want to keep this shirt in one piece."

Olivia quickly made work of her shirt and bra. "What about you?"

Casey pushed Olivia back on the bed without answering her question. She leaned down and captured a nipple in her mouth sucking and nipping. She ran her free hand along her stomach lightly scraping her nails on Olivia's skin. "Lose the pants NOW."

Olivia quickly kicked them off with her boxers, lying back down.

Casey pulled back and looked Olivia in the eye. "I love you," she whispered as she trailed her hand down and through Olivia's folds, smirking when Olivia arched into the touch. She carefully inserted two fingers into deep into Olivia.

Her hips bucked from the bed. She groaned. "I love you too."

Casey began moving her fingers faster and harder in and out of Olivia, flattening her palm so that it would hit her clit with each thrust. She curved her finger to hit the spot she knew would send Olivia flying over the edge.

Olivia began gasping for air, feeling her wetness coat her. "C-Casey? K-kiss me?"

Casey leaned down and captured Olivia's lips with hers. She could feel the wetness pouring out of Olivia and coating her hand. That feeling alone was sending her over the edge herself. "Come with me baby," she whispered into Olivia's ear.

Olivia whimpered against her neck. "I want to...so bad!"

Casey added a third finger and thrust in just a little deeper hitting that spot deep inside. She curved her fingers and gently rubbed her insides till she felt her tightening around her fingers. "Yes baby, yes," she moaned into her ear. "Please let go. Come with me. Please."

"Oh...God! C-Casey!" she screamed, reaching her peak.

Casey screamed with her as she collapsed next to her milking all that she could from Olivia till they were both gasping for air. "Love you," Casey whispered as she kissed Olivia's cheek.

"Love you too, but I think being here makes me nervous. It'll never be you."

"I don't understand honey," Casey whispered as she laid her head on Olivia's chest as she gently pulled her fingers out.

"I feel like any second someone could break down that door and your dad would kill me for doing this, okay?"

"Honey, try to relax a little. Dad's only pulled a gun and threatened to kill one girlfriend. Besides, you're the mother of my children and we live together. I think they have a clue that we sleep together."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, but it's still a little nerve-wracking..."

"This is why you wanted to rent a room when we came out here, isn't it?"

She nodded. "Exactly. I understand you wanting to be close to them though. Though I was probably a little too close to my mother."

"I need you to tell me these things, whether they will make me mad or not. I'm not a mind reader."

Olivia pulled her close, her hand slipping into the front of her sweats, moaning. "God, Case!"

"Want something, my love?"

"Mhm, you all over me," she purred by her ear. "It's only fair."

"How do you deem it fair?" Casey asked grabbing Olivia's wrist to keep her from moving any further down.

"You felt me, shouldn't I get to feel you?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Casey said as straight laced as she could but the hitch in her voice gave her away to Olivia.

Olivia smiled, pinching her nipple lightly as two fingers penetrated Casey.

Casey arched into the touch silently begging for more.

Olivia kissed her neck, twisting it a bit. "Come on, baby."

Casey dug her nails into Olivia's back as she met Olivia thrust for thrust. "I won't last," she moaned.

"Don't fight it," she whispered.

Casey gave in then as she screamed her release at the top of her lungs. She held on tight to Olivia as she felt wave after wave crash over her.

Olivia held her tightly. "That's it, let it go, it's okay."

Casey fell back on the bed gasping for air. She ran her hand up and down Olivia's back groaning at the simple contact she was feeling. "We can always rent that room so you will be comfortable," Casey said as she let out a sigh of contentment.

"Maybe..."

"I love you woman, you know that. Let's take a shower before my parents make it back."

She nodded, helping her into the bathroom.

"Honey, you remember the comment my mother made earlier about Alex?" Casey asked as she stepped under the hot water and welcomed the scalding burn on her sore muscles.

"Yes," she said following, "why?"

"I made that comment to my mother the night of Liam Conner's trial. It was before we even started dating."

"Well, that explains why they're shy of me."

"Yeah," Casey said as she turned and wrapped her arms around Olivia. "I don't think they realize we weren't dating then. I will correct that though."

"Good, anything else they know?"

"Well," Casey whispered biting her lower lip. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"I may have told them that I thought you would go back to Alex when she returned from WITSEC."

Olivia sighed. "Well, it's not that much of a stretch."

"Umm, that was after we were, dating honey. Actually, that was just a few months after we moved in together."

"What? Why?"

"Long story, don't really want to explain," Casey said with a smile as she briefly kissed Olivia. "I'm going to hop out and get dressed. I'll see you downstairs."

Olivia smiled, finishing up and getting out. Wrapping a towel around herself, she walked back into the room.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma, Kikilia14 & tummer22

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl**


	31. Dinner

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl

**Chapter 31: Dinner**

"Hey Mom, hey Dad, "Casey said as she came down the stairs seeing her parents sitting in the living room. "How long have you been home?"

Sandra sighed. "Not long." She wasn't mortified. She understood they were together, engaged and acted like any normal couple, but she also believed those matters should be kept private, so she just smiled softly. "We found you the most perfect video monitor."

"Oh," Casey mumbled as she blushed realizing that her parents just heard her and Olivia.

Sandra pressed a finger to her lips, smiling knowingly. "Is Olivia awake yet?"

"Umm yeah, she should be down in just a minute."

Charles smiled. "Good. Do you know where you want to go to eat?" He could press the obvious issue, but knew his wife would argue to no end that Casey was an adult in a relationship with her own life, so he let it go.

"I have no clue, for once I have no cravings for anything which is amazing."

Olivia walked down. "Hi," she said, wrapping an arm around Casey.

"Hey," Casey sighed as she leaned back against Olivia "Are you wanting to eat anywhere particular tonight?"

She sighed. "A burger sounds okay, but maybe we should opt for like a restaurant that serves more than that," Olivia said.

"It doesn't matter to me. Mom, why don't you choose?"

Sandra sighed. "Casey, I hate to up your emotions – remembering how bad I was with you – but would you rather sit in a booth or at a table? I've...noticed it's not easy for you to get up right now. It's an observation."

"Sandra, don't embarrass her. If they feel like burgers and fries..." Charles said.

"No, we wouldn't have to," Olivia said. "Italian sounds great actually."

"Then Italian it is. I could put away some garlic bread right now." Casey said smiling.

Olivia nodded. "Should we go now?"

"Would you like to ride with us or follow us?" Charles asked as he helped Sandra to her feet.

Olivia looked to Casey. "It's up to you. We can do either."

"Let's just ride with my parents," Casey said turning in her arms. "It will make it easier, believe me."

She nodded, helping Casey out, even keeping her from falling when she missed the last step to the car, wrapping both arms around her. "Are you all right?" she asked stopping before they got into the backseat.

"Yeah, just lost my footing," Casey said leaning in close to Olivia. "By the way, I have the feeling that my parents heard us."

Olivia nodded. "Yes, but I'm glad they're being discreet about it," she said, helping her in and closing the door and getting in on the other side. "Are you sure you'll be okay around all those different smells?"

Casey smiled as she buckled her seatbelt and waited for Olivia to get in the car. She sighed and leaned her head back, she loved it that Olivia was always so cautious and concerned about how something would make her feel. Truth be told, that would make Casey fall even more in love with her and she didn't really think that was possible. She reached for Olivia's hand and sighed when their fingers locked together.

Olivia scooted over a little, laying her head on her shoulder, taking her left hand and kissing her ring. "Thank you."

The ride to the restaurant was quiet and uneventful. Casey was amazed when she saw how quickly they were seated considering how packed and busy the restaurant was.

"Is spaghetti still your favorite?" Charles asked smiling at Casey

"Well, it is her favorite quick meal to throw together when I get home," Olivia said observing the menu.

Casey nodded. "That sounds good."

"I think I'll have ravioli though," Olivia said.

"Ladies, if we are ready to order I will let the waitress know," Sandra said as she motioned to the waitress that they were ready to order. Once the orders were placed, Casey politely excused herself to go to the restroom leaving Olivia alone with her parents. Normally this would freak her out and she would ask Olivia to go with her, but she knew everything would be fine.

Olivia sat with her hands in her lap, smiling. "She hasn't told me the colors for the nursery yet..." she sighed. "Is there anything you two want to ask me while she's away?"

"Why did my daughter feel as if you were going to leave when Alex came back? Mind telling me what you did or said to make her feel like that?" Charles asked leaning forward. It was obvious he would have no problem killing Olivia no matter how Casey felt about her.

Olivia cleared her throat. "She's never told me exactly, but I assume – one of the reasons anyway – is the lengths that I went to just to keep Alex alive. It's not – by any means – appropriate dinner talk. Alex was shot in a drive-by. When I saw what happened, I staunched the bleeding and kept her alive. I have never had to go to those lengths with your daughter. I would go much farther. My life was never perfect until she entered it. I would die for her and those kids. And Alex...she was my first love and Casey always tells me I should trust my gut. Alex came back for the trial and told me to find someone else without knowing I already had someone to fill the hole in my heart – the void. I love your daughter. I will not do anything to jeopardize her safety or make her doubt me."

"So it is safe to say that you are no longer in love with Alex as my daughter has said?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes, we remain close friends and she has helped Casey and I tremendously throughout her pregnancy. She has taken on the majority of the work load. She'll take full control while Casey is out on maternity leave. And I will be taking leave then too until Casey tells me it's okay for me to go back. When Casey is back in the office, they will split cases 50-50. But no sir. I am fully and completely committed to your daughter."

"Honey, stop interrogating Olivia," Sandra said placing a hand over Charles's hand. "Here comes Casey."

Olivia smiled, taking a drink of water as she watched her carefully. "Are the girls playing nice tonight?"

"Just kicking, but nothing like they have been," Casey answered as she took her seat and leaned over to place a kiss on Olivia's cheek. "I see you're still in one piece," she whispered.

Kissing her cheek, Olivia entwined their fingers. "It wasn't bad. They just want to make sure I'm good for you."

"You are," she answered as she glanced at her parents letting them know that she wasn't happy with the stunt they pulled. The rest of the dinner went by without any problems and by the end they seemed to fully warm up to Olivia.

"I swear the girls are sitting on my bladder," Casey said as she started to stand. "I'll be back in a few and, this time, no questioning," she added as she looked directly at her father.

Olivia sighed. "Thank you for dinner."

"You're very welcome Olivia and allow me to apologize for earlier, but you have to understand that Casey is my little girl. The last thing I want to see is her hurt. We do love you and can see you love her that is very obvious. I'm just being the protective father that I will always be."

She smiled. "She's very lucky to have such wonderful parents and be cared for so well. I didn't have that privilege."

"I know honey," Sandra said reaching across the table and taking Olivia's hands in hers. "Casey has told us about it some and you have grown up very well. My daughter is very lucky to have met you."

Olivia smiled again. "Thank you. I'm thrilled that it's not a topic believe me. All I want her to have – them to have – is better than I did. Somehow, we'll make it work. I refuse to let us slip."

"We will baby," Casey said walking up behind Olivia and wrapping her arms around her. "It will be tough at times, but we will survive anything. Look at what we've survived so far."

"I know. And I'll be there as much as I can," she couldn't finish the statement not here. She couldn't openly admit how sacred she was that she wouldn't be able to do that, but she knew Casey could see it in her eyes.

"Are we ready?" Casey asked squeezing Olivia's hand tightly seeing the look of fear in her face. "I, for one, am exhausted, again."

Olivia nodded, leaning her head on Casey's shoulder, but remaining silent.

Charles smiled at the two women before them. Even though they didn't not agree with their daughter's lifestyle, they still loved her and supported her. To see the love that these two women had for each other written all over their face calmed some of their fears but not all. No parent's fears were ever calmed. "Then let's head home so you can get some rest," Charles answered standing and helping Sandra to her feet.

On automatic, Olivia helped Casey to her feet and out to the car, helping her in before getting in herself on the opposite side. She slid over, resting her head on her shoulder and her arms around her. "I know we can do this," she whispered, "but, in truth, the closer they are to being here, the more it both frightens and calms me."

"It does me too, baby. We just have to take it one day at a time."

She sighed. "Yeah, I know."

In no time at all, they were back at Casey's parents' house and dressed for bed. Casey sighed as she slid into bed and into Olivia's waiting arms. She wrapped her arm around her as she laid her head on her chest and listened to the strong steady heartbeat. "Everything will be fine," Casey whispered as she placed a kiss on the hollow part of Olivia's throat. "I have no doubt in your ability to care for me and our children."

Olivia nodded. "I know, but it's just I have nothing to draw from."

"You'll be fine," Casey whispered. "You will be fine.'

Olivia nodded. "I love you."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma, Kikilia14 & tummer22

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl**


	32. Home

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl

**Chapter 32: Home**

The rest of the weekend went by fairly quickly and without any further problems. By the end of the weekend, Casey's parents seemed to have really warmed to Olivia. They had already loved her, but seeing how she was with Casey just made them feel for the detective even more. Both women promised to call them if they were needed in New York sooner than the week before delivery.

"I loved seeing my parents, but I am beyond ready to get back home," Casey said as she settled into her seat on the plane.

Olivia smiled, placing the pillow behind her back again. "I know, I am too, but it was so nice to get out of the city for a while. And the girls seemed to behave. I didn't notice if you were sick at all."

"I wasn't," Casey said smiling. "For the first time since I have been pregnant I felt relaxed and wasn't sick to my stomach."

"That's a really great thing," she said, taking her hand.

Once the plane had taken off Casey leaned her head against Olivia's shoulder and was asleep in minutes. She jumped feeling the plane lurch as it landed instantly reaching for Olivia.

Olivia wrapped her arm around her shoulder, grabbing her hand with her other. "It's okay. We landed."

Casey nodded sitting up and getting her bearings.

Olivia sighed. "Home sweet home."

"You missed New York didn't you?" Casey asked as she undid her seatbelt and began to stand.

Olivia undid hers, helping her stand. "Yeah, not so much the job, but being in our house. Do you want to wait or try to get through now?"

"If you think we can get, out let's go for it."

Olivia watched the people rushing by. She knew she could get through, but could Casey was the real question. Sighing, she sat again, "Sit Casey. I probably could, but I'm not leaving you."

"You better not," Casey said laughing, "I have you by the preverbal balls now that I'm pregnant."

She smiled. "Yeah, I know," she said, kissing her hand, "and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Casey smiled at Olivia she knew without a doubt in her mind and heart that Olivia was there to stay. She was the type of woman who took the saying till death do you part to heart. The amazing part is those words weren't even spoken yet, but she held them with such high regard.

"They're thinning out, lets head out," Casey whispered noting that the gaps between people were becoming wider and wider.

Olivia nodded standing and grabbing the overhead luggage before helping Casey. "We should go out to eat," she said as she handed down their luggage as they stepped out.

"What are you in the mood for?" Casey asked as she began following Olivia out of the plane.

Olivia reached the ground, turning around to help her down. "Chinese?"

"You and Chinese, don't you get enough at work?" Casey asked accepting Olivia's extended hand

Olivia shrugged as she helped her down the last step, taking their luggage. "Okay then, you pick."

"Honey, if you want Chinese then Chinese it is. I was thinking that since the only thing the guys seem to know to order is Chinese you would want something different that's all."

Olivia wrapped her arm around her for support. "We can have what you want."

"Chinese," Casey said smiling knowing that Olivia really wanted it and would forgo it for her.

Olivia smiled as they walked to the car and she helped Casey in, closing the door and throwing the luggage in the backseat. "Actually, would you rather go out or order it in? I think we went out most of the time we were there."

"I want to go home. There is nothing more that I want than to get out of these clothes and in a comfortable pair of sweatpants with my feet up on the table."

Olivia smiled. "Okay." Fifteen minutes later, they were at the house. "You got it while I get the luggage?"

"I do," Casey said as she went in the house and quickly changed. As much as she loved visiting her parents, there was nothing like being at her own house. She smiled at Olivia as she walked down the stairs. "Hey handsome. Have you ordered dinner yet?"

She shook her head. "No, not yet. What would you like?"

"Sweet and Sour Chicken with lo mein instead of rice and a double order of egg rolls." She said settling on the couch. "And a beer would be nice if I could drink at the moment, but I'll settle for some tea."

Olivia smiled, ordering double of everything Casey had said, setting the money beside her. "Fifteen to twenty minutes," she said, sitting beside her, kissing her gently. "I'll go make you some tea if you want."

"You spoil me too much you know that?" Casey answered as she nodded her head yes

Olivia walked into the kitchen, brewing her tea. While she was in there, there was a knock on the door, "Can you get that?"

Casey walked to the door grabbing her purse as she went. She quickly paid for the food and was setting everything out on the coffee table when Olivia walked back into the living room. She took her glass of tea from Olivia when she walked back in and sat down to eat dinner.

Olivia sat next to her, taking some food from the container.

"Do you go back to work tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Unfortunately."

"Eight like always?"

Olivia sighed, finishing the carton and wrapping an arm around her. "Yes."

"You ok?" Casey asked, twisting to look at Olivia "You're usually excited to get back to work when you've taken time off."

Olivia shook her head. "I'd just rather be home with you."

"I love having you home, but honey, let's face it. You're one of those people that have to work and I'm fine with that. I say work as much as you can now that way you won't be climbing the wall too much when you do take time off."

Olivia nodded. "Makes sense."

"Since we're on the subject of working, can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure."

"I have been thinking about working from home until birth. By the time I make it to my office, I'm exhausted and need a nap. Most of the time, by the time I'm done dressing and make it down to the living room, I'm done for. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on that. If you're ok with me going out so soon?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it makes sense."

"Baby, are you ok with me going out sooner?"

Olivia nodded. "It's okay. It's for your health and babies'."

"You do realize that means I can become the home wife that has dinner on the table at six and your work clothes neatly pressed at all times?" Casey told her smiling.

"There's the bright side as long as you don't mind."

"If it makes you happy, then I don't mind and it will give me something to do because I can only take so many soap operas a day."

Olivia laughed, her hand on Casey's belly. "Think of another name yet?"

"I have. I'm just not sure how you would feel about it."

"Try me."

"I was considering naming Alexis more or less after Alex."

"Oh that's cute! Why?"

"She has been so helpful to us and it would be my way of saying thank you. If you don't like it, I can think of a different one."

"No, I love it!" she said, hugging her.

"Please do me a favor and don't tell her. I want to be the one to do that."

"Okay. Are you done eating?"

"Oh yeah, sorry baby," Casey said starting to stand and pick everything up. "You want to go relax. I'll get this cleaned up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now go before I change my mind," Casey said as she watched Olivia stand and head for the stairs she waited till she was half way up before she called her name which caused her to stop and look in her direction "Just wanted to tell you I love you."

Olivia smiled. "I love you too." She made her way up, laying on the bed in wait.

Casey cleaned the living room and kitchen up as quickly as she could. She turned off all the lights and made sure the house was locked up before heading up the stairs. She stopped and leaned against the door frame and watched Olivia. She was curled up on her side with a soft snore coming from her. She smiled as she walked into the bathroom to prepare for bed. She knew she had to be exhausted for her to be asleep before she ever made it up. As quietly as she could she snuck back into the room and into the bed beside Olivia. She couldn't help but smile when Olivia snuggled closer to her and wrapped her arm around her.

"Mmm, love you..." Olivia murmured.

"I love you too," Casey whispered back as she snuggled into Olivia and began to drift off to sleep.

Olivia smiled, resting a hand over Casey's belly protectively.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl**


	33. Shower

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl

**Chapter 33: Shower**

Olivia woke up early that day, taking the day off. She was up, showered and dressed by the time Alex arrived to help her get ready for the shower. At half past eight, Alex knocked on the door. She walked up, opening the door.

"Hey there momma, are you ready?" Alex asked as she stepped in and removed her jacket. "Where's Casey?"

Olivia smiled. "I'm letting her sleep a bit longer. She's rarely been sick, but last night was bad," she said, hanging up Alex's jacket. "Do you have some things planned?"

"The normal games that are played at baby showers. The food should be delivered in about an hour along with the cake. I told the guys to be here by ten and a few of the ladies we work with as well."

Olivia smiled. "Great, so I should probably try to wake Casey. Any decorating you want to do?"

"Yeah, I have some streamers and balloons to put up, but let her sleep. I know it's getting rough on her."

Olivia smiled, grabbing the step ladder from the hall closet. "I assume you'd like some help?"

"It would make things quicker and easier," Alex said a she pulled the package of pink streamers from the bag she had.

Olivia went to grab a chair from the kitchen. "So, how does it feel to be back without the help?"

"Honestly? Very lonely," Alex answered as she accepted Olivia's help to get up on the chair. "I had gotten so used to talking to Casey on a daily basis and having someone to vent to on a bad day. Now I feel it like it used to be. Just me, trying to carry the burden of everything."

"You could still talk to her, call or come by," Olivia said hanging a few streamers. "I know she gets very bored."

"I never know when she's sleeping and I hate to disturb her. Plus, I don't want her to feel bad for leaving me the work load. I know she does the motions at the house which, believe me, is a huge help, but I don't want her to feel like she's not helping enough."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I believe that. And she does sleep a lot nowadays. The girls tire her out."

"If they tire her out now wait till she's chasing after them," Alex said laughing as she almost fell off the chair.

Olivia grabbed her arm to steady her. "Yeah, isn't that the truth?"

"Isn't what the truth?" Casey said walking into the living room. "Seriously Alex, you need to be more careful when you stand on a chair. Thank god Liv was here to catch you."

Olivia tacked up the streamer that was in her hand before getting down. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Casey said leaning in and giving Olivia a kiss. "Can I offer you ladies some coffee?"

"I would love some," Olivia said.

"Would you like some Alex?" Casey asked walking up and hugging her the best she could with her swollen stomach.

Alex nodded. "Perfect."

Casey smiled as she walked into the kitchen and fixed everyone a cup of coffee. Carefully, she walked back into the living room trying her hardest not to laugh at the sight in front of her. Alex and Olivia were fighting with the machine that would fill the balloons.

"Children there are such things as instructions," she said sitting the coffee on the table.

"Alex has them, but she's reading them upside down!" Olivia said.

"Oh lord," Casey said walking over to the two women and quickly taking the paper from Alex's hands, "it is a two step instruction. How hard is it?"

Olivia walked to the couch, quietly sipping her coffee.

"Make a tight seal with the balloon and place the security band around it," Casey said reading the instructions. "Once the seal is tightened, then slowly turn the valve into the on position until the balloon has reached desired fullness. Slowly remove and tie off balloon."

Olivia sighed. "See it was simple, Alex!"

"Well then, why were you having trouble getting the balloons to blow up?" Alex asked as she glared at Olivia over her glasses. "Because you wouldn't listen to me."

"Yeah, sure, blame me..."

"Honey, I love you with all my heart, but the last thing you ever do is read and follow instructions," Casey said coming to sit by Olivia. "But that is just one of the many qualities you have that just makes me love you more."

Olivia smiled, hugging her tight. "I love you too."

Casey started laughing. "I think there are two little girls who love you too. Here give me your hand," Casey placed Olivia's hand where they were kicking and looked up at Alex. "Come here, you should feel them now."

Alex nodded and walked over smiling when she felt how hard they were kicking. "Wow, quite the kickers aren't they?"

Olivia smiled, kissing Casey's cheek. "They're strong, healthy."

"Just like their parents," Alex said standing. "You ladies haven't told me if you've picked out any names yet or are you waiting to be cautious?"

Olivia smiled. "You said you wanted to tell her."

"Alex, we actually have a surprise for you," Casey said smiling as she took Olivia's hands in hers "We each named a baby. I, if you wouldn't mind, would love to name the baby Alexis, after you. You have been so helpful and a life saver more times than I can count. It's a little way for us to say thank you."

Olivia smiled. "Then I named the other Serena after my mother."

Alex stood there with tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't find the words to say what she wanted to say so she walked over and hugged each of them. "Thank you," she finally managed to say.

Olivia smiled, hugging her tightly. "You're welcome."

Casey leaned forward and hugged Alex tightly. "I don't think we could have survived the last few months without your help, Alex. Thank you so much."

Alex smiled. "Anytime. I'm just glad I could help." Alex said standing. "Now let me finish decorating so everything will be ready when everyone arrives."

Olivia nodded. "Is there something I can do?"

"Just help me get the streamers and balloons up," Alex answered as she stepped back up on the chair, thankfully, keeping her balance this time.

Olivia stood, hanging a balloon in between two pairs or streamers as she continued to tack up streamers as well.

"Do you two think you can play nice and not break anything while I go upstairs to shower?" Casey asked laughing as she began to stand up from the couch.

Olivia got off of the stepladder, walking over to help her up. "Of course we can," she said, kissing her sweetly. "I love you," she whispered.

"Thank you," Casey whispered as Olivia helped her to her feet. "I love you too."

Olivia watched her walk up the stairs before returning to hang balloons and streamers. When Casey came back down, about half an hour later, she and Alex had just finished decorating and were seated on the couch. "Do you think we overdid it?" Olivia asked.

"The one thing I have learned with you since I've been pregnant: you overdo everything."

Olivia nodded. "Well yeah, but I like you to be comfortable," she said, patting a spot beside her, "is that so bad? Is it horrible to want to take care of my fiancée who's pregnant with my kids?"

"Not at all honey," Casey said as she sat down next to Olivia. "Believe me you take excellent care of me and the girls. The best there is."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder. "I try."

Casey smiled as she looked over to Alex and raised her eyebrows. She had begun to notice that the closer she got to her due date the more Olivia seemed to be worried about how well she was taking care of her. It was almost as if Olivia doubted her abilities as her partner.

Olivia sighed. "Alex, would you give us a few minutes, please?"

"Absolutely," she answered quickly as she stood and headed for the kitchen, "I need to get the trays that were delivered a few minutes ago ready."

Olivia pulled her legs up underneath her, sighing. "That nightmare won't go away."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner baby?" Casey said as she wrapped her arms around Olivia the best she could. "I thought everything was ok because you haven't been waking up at night."

She sighed, burying her head in Casey's long red locks. "I have, but you've had so much trouble sleeping lately, I didn't want to wake you."

"Look at me Olivia," Casey said waiting 'til she was staring into the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen, "wake me honey. That's what I'm here for. I know you try so hard to protect me and lord knows I love you for that, but there are times you just have to stop and let go. Tell me if you're having the nightmares, If you've had a bad day at work, if something triggered a flashback with Alex. I need to know these things so we can work on it together."

Olivia nodded, a few tears leaking out, holding her tighter. "Th-they're just so...feel so real. It hurts."

"I'm fine, the girls are fine, and we are fine," Casey whispered holding Olivia tight against her. "Just let it out."

Olivia trembled against her as her tears flowed. "I want...it...to stop! I don't want...to see it anymore!" she cried.

Casey knowing there was nothing she could say just held Olivia tight and let her cry.

Slowly, Olivia stopped, falling asleep against her.

"Is she out?" Alex asked as she walked back in the room.

"She's been having nightmares and hasn't been sleeping much," Casey answered as she stroked Olivia's back.

Alex nodded. "Let her sleep a bit. We've still got about 45 minutes before the guests arrive."

"Will you help me lay her down on the couch?"

Alex nodded, holding Olivia while Casey stood up. Laying her down, Alex put a pillow under her head. "Wow, she's really tired."

"Yeah," Casey said grabbing Alex by the hand and leading her back in the kitchen. "I didn't want our talking to wake her up. She has been having nightmares and I thought they had stopped, but apparently she's just been keeping it from me."

"What kind of nightmares?" Alex asked.

"Apparently, there is a bad traffic accident and we can't make it to the hospital and she has to deliver the girls in the car. Unfortunately, something goes wrong and I bleed out, dying in her arms."

Alex was silent for a moment. "..Wow...no wonder she's shaken..."

"I'm at a loss on what to do," Casey said desperation written all over her face.

Alex laid a hand on her shoulder. "Didn't Elliot deliver four kids? Maybe you could ask him?"

"But I don't think that Kathy had a high risk pregnancy like I am having."

"But this isn't, necessarily, about that. Though, I do see your point."

"I hope so. It doesn't help matters much that she tries to work herself to the bone and then comes home to pick up my slack. I can't even remember the last time she went out with the guys."

"Do you still want me to try to convince her to go out with the guys for a night?" Alex asked.

"If you don't mind? I really do think that would help her relax some."

Alex nodded, smiling. "I'll stay with you anyway. We can have a movie night."

"It's a date," Casey answered, thankful that Alex was going to help her get Olivia out of the house.

Alex checked the clock. "Well, guests should be arriving in about half an hour, so what would you like to do?"

"Are there any last-minute preparations you need help with?"

"I can't believe we forgot to hang this banner," Alex said. unrolling a long, silky, pink banner that said "It's Twins!" with little hearts and balloons over it. She walked into the living room. "Where should this go?"

"How about right here?" Casey asked as she pointed at the staircase. "We can tie it onto the railings."

She smiled. "Perfect," she said, racing up the stairs and tying it around three rails. "More, less, perfect?"

Alex nodded, but walking past Olivia, she saw her trembling. "Uhh...Casey?"

Casey looked down at Olivia and saw that she was trembling. "Go on. I'll be there in a few," she said before turning her attention to Olivia. Carefully she got on her knees next to the couch and gentle moved the hair from Olivia's face. Even though she was caught in a nightmare, the beauty of her face had her breath catching in her throat. Taking a deep breath to steady her pounding heart rate she leaned forward and whispered into Olivia's ear."Baby, we are fine. You are having a nightmare. Me and the girls are alive and well. Open your eyes so you can see."

Olivia shook her head. "No...no...no! Too much! I...I can't! I know...I promised, b-but I...I..."

Casey took her Olivia's hand and placed it on her stomach when she felt them start kicking. "No, baby, open your eyes. We're fine. Feel your daughters kick."

The sensation roused her. Slowly, her eyes opened and she turned her head to look at Casey, pressing her hand there more firmly. She blinked a few times, but the tears still fell. "I...I..." she choked, swinging her legs over the edge and falling forward.

"I know," Casey whispered holding her tight to her just letting her cry.

"I just hope it goes away...soon. Why is this happening?!"

"I don't know, but I do wish you would talk to Elliot. Maybe he can give you some advice. He's been in your shoes four times now and once with twins."

Olivia nodded. "That's a good idea." She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Is everything ready?"

"It is," Casey answered struggling to get to her feet. "And everyone should be arriving in the next few minutes."

Olivia smiled. Getting up, she helped Casey to her feet. "Where is this taking place?"

"A combination of the dining room and here," Casey said leaning against Olivia for support.

Olivia nodded. "Should we just wait here?"

"We can if you want."

Olivia sat on the couch with her, placing a pillow behind her back and putting an ear to her stomach. "Heartbeats," she said with a smile.

Casey felt her eyes swell up with tears as Olivia gently placed her head against her stomach to hear their childrens' heartbeats as she called it. She had come to do it more and more lately which should have been her first clue that something was wrong. She ran her hand through Olivia's short hair and smiled at Alex when she re-emerged from the kitchen.

"Everything okay here?" Alex asked, setting two glasses of water in front of them.

"Just another nightmare," Casey said laughing when one of the girls kicked where Olivia's head was.

Olivia took a sip of water, nodding in agreement. "She must be trying to reassure me."

"Either that or preparing for your nosiness in her teenage years," Alex said laughing from the look Olivia and Casey both shot her

Olivia smiled. "Let's hope not."

"You know come to think of it," Alex said with a distant look in her eyes, "I feel sorry for them when they start to date. I mean look one mom is a top notch detective and the other a top notch attorney. They have three uncles who are just as good as their mom at being detectives. A grandfather who is a Captain and an Aunt who has more connections than the Kennedys do now days. Their boyfriends better be on their game before they go missing."

Olivia laughed. "You know, I never thought of it that way. But you're right. The boys had better watch out. If the girls get their hearts broken, the boys are very liable to go missing. Right Auntie Alex?" she asked with a huge grin.

"You two and the rest of the squad will not terrorize the boys if they break our little girls' hearts. If you can remember we've all had our hearts broken from time to time," Casey said. "But if they lay a hand on them I want them torn to pieces and feed to the wolves at the zoo."

"Lions, Casey. I don't think they have wolves."

"You know what I mean," Casey responded smacking Olivia's arm when she heard the door bell ring. "Looks like the first guest is here, let's see if we can all play nice."

Olivia nodded. "Do you want me to get it?"

"I will get it," Alex said heading for the door. She opened it to find Kathy and Elliot standing there with Fin and Much right behind him. Leave it to the guys to arrive as a team. "Come in," Alex said stepping back and allowing them to enter.

Elliot nodded. "Thanks. I see they're slacking off," he said with a grin.

"Watch it, Stabler!" Olivia warned, playfully. "Hi everyone, how are you?"

"Good." Everyone one said at once causing Casey, Kathy, and Alex all shake their heads.

Kathy sighed. "Just like men. They think if they all answer together, they'll never have to say another word."

"Yeah, but we have them trained so that's all that matters."

Kathy nodded. "I think Elliot was trained long before e met."

"Yeah well, it took me about a month to get Liv trained, but I did," Casey said smiling at her love.

Olivia glared playfully at Casey before wrapping her arm around her. "I tried not to be like the others, but, after so many years stuff just rubs off..."

"We know," Alex and Casey said in unison both knowing what it was like to be with Olivia. The outburst caused everyone to start laughing.

Olivia smiled, knowing she couldn't deny anything. It was pointless.

"Why don't you guys go do your guy thing and us girls will sit here and talk about you like we always do when we send you away?" Casey said pushing Olivia to her feet and toward the men. "We're still waiting on some others to arrive."

Olivia nodded, walking toward them. "Hey."

"Come on," Elliot said wrapping his arm around his partner. "When they push us out like that, take it at face value and go with it."

She shrugged him off. "Fine. Who wants a beer?"

"We all do," they said together noticing the distant look in Olivia's eyes.

"El," she said, beckoning him to follow. "I need to talk to you. Plus, I only have two hands."

"Sure," he answered falling into step behind her until they were in the kitchen, "what's up?"

She sighed, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "When Kathy was pregnant with your kids, did you ever have nightmares?"

"All the time Liv and I still have them from time to time. You will never stop worrying about your kids no matter how old they are."

"Yeah, but...did you ever have a nightmare where you couldn't get to the hospital on time, delivered them in the backseat of a car, right before your wife bled out in your arms..." she spun around, pounding the counter.

"No, mine was that I was stuck at work working some major case and couldn't get away. She attempted to drive herself and deliver at the same time. Except in my nightmare I lost them both, not just one."

She turned, leaning into him. "Do they ever go away? What can I do?"

"The ones about losing them during birth stop after she has delivered, in your case, two healthy young beautiful little girls. Then the next set of nightmares will begin. Will I be a good enough parent? Can I be there for them the way I need to be? And so on. As for what to do open up to Casey and let her know what's happening. She could be having the same fear or something similar. For Kathy, it was I would be killed in the Line of Duty before I ever got to hold my children. That is why there is always a picture taken of me holding them the second they are born. To alleviate some of her fear and if something did ever happen to me she would have that picture to show them as they got older."

She smiled, stepping away, grabbing the booze. Olivia handed them to him, hugging him. "Thank you. The pictures are a great idea though. Save one of those for me would you?" she asked as she sat next to Casey, holding her tight and kissing her cheek.

"Everything ok baby?" Casey asked as Olivia pulled her tight against her.

She nodded. "Yeah," she looked to Kathy, "and your husband gave me a great idea...if you don't mind me borrowing it, that is."

"Feel free to, but I have no idea what you're talking about," Kathy said looking around the room confused.

"The picture right after they're born."

"Go for it. Believe me it helps ease a lot of worry."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl**


	34. With Love

**WARNING: ADULT CONTENT!**

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl

**Chapter 34: With Love**

Casey sighed as she rubbed her stomach and looked at everything they had gotten. They had an assortment of bottles, matching baby blankets, some rattlers and teething rings, along with a few outfits. Her favorite had been the gag gift from Munch which was a little out of character for him. He had gotten the girls matching NYPD onises. Alex had special made bibs made for the babies. One said mess with me my mom can arrest you and the other said and my other mom will prosecute you. With a family like this, these poor girls didn't have a chance.

Olivia sat beside her after putting everything into a pile.

Alex insisted on cleaning up the kitchen then she would be on her way.

Olivia sighed, wrapping her arms around Casey and laying her head on her shoulder. "Well, I think today's been productive, don't you?"

"I do," Casey said laying back and closing her eyes. "You do realize these girls are going to be spoiled."

Olivia smiled. "Yes, spoiled rotten. Especially with all the love and attention we'll be giving them," she said, resting a hand on Casey's extremely swollen stomach.

"They're going to be as incorrigible as you are," Casey said turning to look at Olivia. "Do you feel better now that you've talked to Elliot?"

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, I do. I know the nightmares aren't going to stop for a while, but as long as you're okay, I'll manage," she said, hugging her.

"Good, now would you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Go out one night with the guys."

Olivia sighed. "You're not going to let up on this are you?"

"No, I'm not, honey. You work long hours and then come home and pick up my slack," Casey said placing a finger on Olivia's lips to stop her from speaking. "You not only need a night out, honey, you more than deserve it. I have already talked with the guys and they are for it. Like that's a hard chore for them. Alex has agreed to come over and make it a girls' night with movies and whatever weird craving I'm having at the moment. That way you don't have to worry about me."

Olivia smiled. "Okay, I will go out any night you want. But I refuse to do anything with you while I've been drinking, so can we have sex before?"

"Again, you are incorrigible," Casey said laughing. "If it makes you feel better fine, but drunk or not I'm not worried."

Olivia nodded. "Say when."

"I will talk to Alex tomorrow to find out what would be a good night for her to come over. Then we'll go from there."

Olivia smiled. "Can we be together tonight?"

"Prime example of incorrigible," Casey said laughing. "I think you have been working around men way too long. All you think about is sex."

"That's not all I think about... I think about you and our babies and how much I love you."

"Uh huh, yeah sure," Casey said with a twinkle in her eye. "I don't believe you."

"Prove it."

"You spend all your time at work and the second you get home you're trying to get me naked," Casey mumbled not expecting this turn of events.

Olivia stood, pacing the floor for a few minutes before sitting on the coffee table in front of her. "Yes, but I'm around disastrous, horrible things all day. Is it so bad to want to be around the woman I love – who's carrying my children – in the most intimate way possible?" She saw Casey roll her eyes. "Okay, not the greatest example, but I know you understand where it's coming from. Tell me what I can do instead."

"You can relax and realize I'm teasing you, honey," Casey whispered as she motioned for Olivia to come to her. "Enjoy the teasing side of me because you never know when these hormones are going to flip on you."

Olivia sat beside her again. "Yes but...I do feel bad about that. I shouldn't always come home and..." she bit her lip. "I'll tell you what, tomorrow, after work, I'll pick up dinner and we'll just have a nice little dinner here at the house. That way, you don't have to go out. How's that?"

"God woman!" Casey growled as she pulled Olivia to her and kissed her. "I happen to love it that you can't keep your hands off me when you come home, honey. It helps me with how I feel about all the weight I've put on. To know that you desire me that much with as big as I am, it's a real turn on to me too. I know all I have to say is no and that ends everything."

Olivia kissed her passionately, wrapping her arms around her. "Do you want me to do that tomorrow?"

"If that's what you want to do, it sounds good to me," Casey said yawning.

"Maybe you should go lay down," Olivia said, kissing her cheek,

"That is all I do now days," Casey mumbled as she tried to stand thankful when Olivia jumped up and helped her. "So how about this hot brunette detective joins me for my one of many naps today?"

Olivia smiled. "I would love that. Let me just tell Alex, okay? Wait here." She walked into the kitchen where Alex was just finishing up. "Alex, thank you for everything today. Casey and I are really grateful."

"Anytime Liv," Alex said walking forward and hugging Olivia. "I'm thankful I can help."

Olivia smiled, hugging her back. "When you're finished up, go home. Casey's tired from all the excitement, so I'm going to take her up to bed."

"Give me time to get out of the house before you two get too loud," Alex said laughing. "And let Casey know to call me anytime she needs anything or wants some company."

Olivia laughed a bit. "Okay, will do, but seriously, she wants a nap with me and I have no problem with that. And I'll be happy to let her know," she said, walking from the room. "Ready?" she asked, wrapping an arm around her back to steady her.

Casey nodded as she leaned against Olivia. "Is Alex ok? Does she need any help?"

Olivia shook her head. "She's fine, almost done. She says if you need anything to call her."

"Ok," Casey said as she removed her pants and slid in under the covers. "You know, she's started dating again."

"Really?" Olivia asked, sliding from her clothes and got in next to Casey. "Who?"

"Her name is Jane. She works for the court of appeals in Albany I think. Not real sure, though I do know she's another attorney. Can you imagine those arguments?"

Olivia shook her head. "No and I don't want to. I'd rather think about you," she said, wrapping her arms around her.

"I know honey, but Lord help them both. I know the type of arguments we have had and hell yours and Alex's fights are legendary around the court house. Add another lawyer to the mix and it's bound to be explosive."

Olivia nodded. "Yes, that's true, but I'd really prefer not to think about it, though...nah...too much. I could never ask that, much less tell you."

"Honey, I am having your children and going to marry you. You can tell me anything," Casey said positioning herself so she could look at Olivia.

Olivia shook her head. "I know, but...can't we just forget that I said it. It was...an old fantasy that I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable about."

"If that's what you want sure," Casey said snuggling against Olivia. "And if your fantasy is me, you , and Alex at once you can forget it. I don't share well with others."

"It's not...that. But just someone else there, watching. I know it's weird. Don't mind it. And I don't want to share you either."

"We'll discuss this further when I'm more coherent," Casey mumbled as she started to drift off to sleep no matter how hard she fought it.

Olivia kissed her head, snuggling closer. "It's okay, just sleep," she said. "I'll stay here with you."

* * *

Casey woke a few hours later and smiled at the brown eyes that were staring at her. "Good Afternoon," she husked her voice still full of sleep. "Watching me sleep?"

Olivia kissed her, laying her head on her shoulder. "Of course. Problem with that?"

"None at all," she whispered leaning up to kiss Olivia.

Olivia leaned down so her fiancée wouldn't have to reach as far, rubbing her stomach. "I was laying my head on them and listening to them move around. They're active little girls. And I love their mommy even more now."

"This is nothing," Casey groaned as she tangled her hands through Olivia's hair. "So you love me even more now?"

"Mhm," Olivia said, kissing her, passionately.

"How is that?" Casey asked as she began to unbutton Olivia's shirt.

"You're giving me everything I've ever dreamed of. You're smart, beautiful, sexy, funny, witty and passionate. I love everything about you, sweetie."

"Mmmh," Casey moaned as she trailed her hands along a very toned stomach. She suddenly felt bad that she didn't have the washboard abs she used to have.

Olivia smiled. "It's okay," she told her, able to see her insecurities in Casey's eyes. "I love you even more now. You're giving me so much," Olivia said, kissing the girls over and over. "Don't feel bad. You can get it back, but don't rush getting rid of the evidence of these two little miracles. Promise me?" she pleaded, looking into her eyes.

"You are something else Olivia Benson," Casey said feeling some of her confidence return, "besides, you have to love me even more there's more of me to love now."

"Well, why not? You are giving me the greatest gift of all," Olivia said, running a hand through her hair, running her stomach, kissing her neck.

Casey laid back surrendering herself to Olivia.

Olivia took Casey's shirt off of her, kissing a line from her lips down her chest, lightly sucking on each breast, swirling her tongue around the peaks.

Casey tangled her hands into Olivia's hair encouraging her to continue needing to desperately feel her against her.

Olivia gently laid on top of her, her legs encasing one of Casey's, kissing her. "Is this...too much?"

"No," Casey moaned as she gasped for air.

Olivia kissed her again and again, wrapping her arms around her, moving to the side and pulling Casey to her as she rubbed Casey's breasts. "Casey..." her hand trailed between Casey's legs."So beautiful, sexy, perfect..."

"Please, baby, please!" Casey pleaded as she arched into Olivia's touch.

Olivia took Casey's leg, throwing it over hers before she plunged three into Casey. She held her close as her fingers thrust and twisted inside. "Casey." she moaned.

Casey screamed as she felt Olivia push into her deep, hard and fast digging her nails into her back. She matched Olivia stroke for stroke. Knowing it wouldn't be long before she fell over the edge.

Olivia went a little faster. "I love you, Casey. Come on, please baby!"

Casey screamed as she dug her nails up Olivia's back and her back arching high off the bed. She felt herself clamp around Olivia's fingers as she gasped for the air her body so desperately needed.

"That's it, sweetie. It's okay."

Casey fell back against the bed breathing heavy and pulling Olivia tight against her. "You are an amazing woman and I feel so lucky to be with you."

Olivia smiled. "I love you," she said, kissing her gently. "After everything I've been through, I feel like the lucky one."

"Let's agree that we are both the lucky ones."

Olivia nodded. "I'll agree to that any day. Do you need anything?"

"Besides you for life?" Casey said smiling. "I'm good."

"Do you want to go back to sleep or should we get something to eat?"

"I want to lay here in your arms for a little while longer and then we can decide. Is that ok?"

Olivia smiled, holding her close. "Perfect."

Casey snuggled down against Olivia and sighed as she relaxed against her. Before she realized it she was starting to drift off to sleep.

Olivia pulled the blankets over them. "Just sleep."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl**


	35. Complete

Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl

**Chapter 35: Complete**

Casey grabbed her stomach and started pacing again. After about the fifth time of her phone going to voice mail she gave up trying to reach her. For her not to answer her repeated calls told her that whatever Olivia was working on was important and that she couldn't be disturbed. She flipped her phone open again and hit speed dial three and waited for a familiar voice to answer.

"Cabot."

"Alex, it's Casey," she said through clenched teeth. "I need you to come over. I can't get a hold of Liv."

Alex's senses perked up by the panic in her voice. "What's the matter?"

"I'm having contractions and Liv isn't answering the phone."

"Has your water broken?" she asked, grabbed her coat and leaving. "I'm on my way, don't worry."

"My water hasn't broken yet. I just want to be cautious and wanted a ride to the hospital without calling an ambulance."

Alex nodded. "I'm almost to your house now. Where are you? Upstairs? Downstairs? Have you fallen?"

"I'm pacing my kitchen," Casey said calmly. "I have not fallen and one person freaking out is enough. Take a deep breath for me, Alex."

Alex hung up, leaving the car running. She opened the door. "Casey."

"Right here," Casey called back as she doubled over.

Alex ran over, helping her stand up. "Easy, Casey, easy. Your doctor has been called and is waiting for us. Just try to relax for a second, then I'll walk you out, okay?"

"Ok," Casey said taking a few deep breaths.

"It's going to be okay. Lean on me if you need to."

"Thanks," Casey answered as she leaned against Alex. "Have you been able to get a hold of Liv?"

Alex sighed. "Unfortunately not, but I've set the guys to work finding her. Are you ready to go yet?"

"I am. I wish she wouldn't turn her phone off. She knows I could go into labor any moment. I swear sometimes if I didn't love that woman so much I would leave."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. Come on," Alex said, helping her out to the car.

Casey allowed Alex to help her into the ER and tried to prevent from breaking her hand when a contraction hit. She couldn't help but smile when Alex was in her true form and started barking orders to everyone there. What made it even funnier is that no one questioned her and instantly started to jump at every command.

Alex sighed, sitting Casey in a wheelchair. "Ah Dr. Jones. Where would you like us?"

"In this room right here please," he stated motioning for her to enter a room to their right. "I will have a nurse come in and examine her ok?"

Alex helped Casey onto the exam table. "It's going to be okay Casey."

"Will you keep trying to get in touch with her?" Casey groaned as another contraction hit. "I really don't want to deliver these babies alone."

Alex nodded. "Yes, but, no matter what I won't let you be alone, ok?"

Just as she said that, the detective walked in, going directly to the bathroom to wash the dried blood from her hands, drying them before walking to her side. "Casey!"

"Do I want to know why you had blood on you?" Casey asked as she reached for Olivia.

Olivia held her hand, while she wrapped her arm around her. "Probably not. Are you okay?"

"Honey, I am in labor and my contractions keep getting closer and closer together and not to mention the pain is getting worse. Put the fact that I COULDN'T GET A HOLD OF YOU on top of all that and I would have to say no."

Olivia sighed. "I'm so sorry honey. I-I didn't think this would happen right now, but I'm here. Alex, do me a favor and call her parents please? Here's the number," she said, handing Alex a slip of paper before lying in bed beside Casey and holding her close. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

Alex slipped out of the room and quietly made the call that Olivia had requested. She would have to admit that she was a little stunned at the sharpness in Charles's tone when she informed him who she was. Once she informed him she was calling for Olivia and that Casey was in labor, he curtly said thank you and hung the phone up."Hey," Alex whispered slinking back in, "I got a hold of them they are coming. Do you guys need anything else?"

Olivia nodded. "Maybe some ice chips and a cold cloth. What do you think, Case?"

"I think I want some space and get the nurse back in here!" Casey growled, but then felt bad for taking it out on Olivia. "I'm sorry."

Olivia nodded, "Alex, grab the nurse, would you?"

Alex nodded and quickly left the room. She stopped at the first person she found that was wearing what looked like a lab coat. "Are you a doctor?"

"I am miss. Can I help you?" The doctor asked assessing the woman in front of her.

"Yes, you can come with me," Alex ordered as she grabbed the doctor and lead her back to Casey's room. "Guys, I thought I would skip the middle man and go straight for the boss." Alex said entering the room dragging the doctor with you "This is doctor…?"

"Smith."

"Dr. Smith."

Olivia nodded. "I don't suppose you know Dr. Jones, do you? Or...maybe you could help us?" she asked as Casey hugged her tightly as another painful contraction hit. "It's going to be okay, Casey."

"Actually, I am his new partner, so if you will allow me to check her real quick and then I will go and find him for you ok?"

Olivia nodded, getting up and standing beside her. "Okay. Don't worry, Case. I'm not going anywhere."

"Ladies, let me ask you, were you planning on trying to delivery these babies naturally?"

Olivia thought a moment. She didn't remember discussing that with Casey, which was strange considering they'd discussed every otter topic under the sun concerning the twins. "Uh, Casey, I think this was the one thing we never discussed..."

'That's ok. If this is how it's going to feel, then I want drugs and lots of it. Starting now."

Olivia nodded. "Okay. We'd like the meds."

"I'll let the nurse know, but ladies one thing you need to start thinking about is a C-section. A good percentage is born through a C-section and that is usually the best way to have multiple births."

Olivia nodded. "We understand and we'll take that into consideration," Olivia said as Dr. Smith left, looking to Casey. "What do you think?"

"DO you really want to know?" Casey growled in frustration.

"Hey Liv," Alex said stepping up and whispering in her ear, "I'm thinking you may want to rephrase what you're saying to her. Pregnant women in labor have been known to get violent."

Olivia nodded. "I know that, but with this being such a high-risk pregnancy. I figure it's proper to ask. If you're absolutely sure, I'll be with you every step of the way."

"Just letting you know before you get yelled at more or thrown out of the room," Alex said heading for the door. "If you need me, I will be in the waiting room."

Olivia nodded. "Thank you Alex. Casey, whatever you want to do I'm behind you. We just never really discussed this, so I figured I should ask."

"I know," Casey whispered motioning for Olivia to come back to her. "If the contractions stay the way they are and if it's the safest way to deliver the girls that is what I want."

Olivia walked back over, taking her hand. "I know, but you know how much I want to help you through this."

"I know you do," Casey said with a smile. "Just be here with me and that is all I need."

Olivia smiled. "Do you want to try natural or do you want the C-section right away?"

"I think C-section would be best with all the complications we have already endured."

The detective nodded. "You're right."

"Ok ladies," Dr. Jones said entering the room, "we have a room for you in the maternity ward now and we're ready to move you."

Olivia nodded. "That's fine, but we've decided, with the complications Casey's had in the past, we'd like a C-section."

"I will get an OR ready and get you two ready for the C-section."

Olivia nodded. "Am I allowed to be in there with her or not?"

"Barring any complications you are allowed in there with her," Dr. Jones informed the apparent impatient Olivia.

Olivia nodded. "I'm sorry I'm so tense. She's just early and I didn't expect this at this time, but I'm as excited as ever."

"Just relax, its common with first time parents," Dr. Jones said laying a hand on Olivia's shoulder. "I will have a nurse come in, in a minute and prepare both you and Casey for the procedure ok?"

Olivia nodded, taking a breath as she sat back beside Casey, stroking her cheek. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."

"It's ok. What perp were you questioning this time?"

Olivia sighed. "Escaped pedophile from Rikers that I bloodied up. He started a riot and ran. We found him hiding out in a warehouse."

"Not that I care, but how bad did you rough him up?"

"Bad headache and a bloody nose. I made sure not to do too much damage," the detective said.

"That will help in the case?" Casey said laughing as she grabbed her stomach. "IAB get called in?"

Olivia smiled, resting her hand on Casey's belly. "Yes, but I'm on leave as of now. I'll be on very light desk duty when I return. I tried to leave earlier, but he was just being a prick. Elliot's taking care of him under Cragen's supervision..." she said, rubbing her belly. "I know, I know girls," she whispered, "you're excited to meet us, but you're really giving Mommy a hard time. It'd be better if you didn't kick so much."

"They listen to you," Casey whispered as she entwined their fingers. "They know your voice and listen to you."

Olivia leaned over, hugging her close. "So does Mommy. It's going to be okay. I'm here now."

"Ladies," a nurse said entering the room, "my name is Monica and I am here to escort Miss Novak to the OR for the C-section. A nurse will come in, in a minute and prepare you Miss Benson."

Olivia nodded. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Please make it quick. We need to get her to the OR."

Olivia nodded, kissing her quickly and hugging her gently. "I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you...all three of you."

"We love you too and they can't wait to see you," Casey whispered as she leaned up the best she  
could and kissed Olivia.

Olivia leaned down to kiss her. "Everything's going to be fine."

Casey smiled at Olivia and offered up a small wave as the nurse wheeled her from the room. She caught sight of Alex in the hallway and waved to her and with a nod of her head motioned for her to go to Olivia. She knew she would need someone to lean on while they were preparing her before she could join her in the OR.

Olivia sat back in the chair, sighing.

"Scared, nervous or both?" Alex asked walking in and seeing Olivia leaning back in the chair.

Olivia looked over. "Both. I just...we had so many problems before and now I-if something happens..."

"Olivia, in your line of work, you always have to look for the bad in everything. You're waiting for the next guy to jump around the corner and kill you. Unfortunately, that carries over in your personal life as well. This is one of those times. For once, sit back and relax and wait for something good to happen."

The detective sighed. "You're right. Someone should be coming in soon with some papers for me to sign before I go in. It's just hard. I really hope things are great for everything."

"It will be," Alex said pulling Olivia to her feet. "Just think in under an hour you will be holding your little girls. The wild detective Benson will be a mother."

Olivia smiled. "Yes, I will be. Beautiful and healthy."

"That's more like it," Alex said laughing as a nurse walked into the room. "And it looks like your escort to your wife and children has arrived."

Olivia smiled, hugging Alex. "Are there papers to sign?" she asked the nurse. "Or some kind of preparation before I join her?"

"No papers to sign Ms. Benson," the nurse said with a smile. "When we get to the prep room you will need to don full PPE. Gown, boots, gloves, mask. At no time during the procedure can you take the mask off or any other pieces of PPE ok?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes, I understand. Take me to her."

"Then follow me."

Olivia tried to focus, but failed miserably. Upon going in, she donned all the attire, making sure everything would stay. "Where can I...?"

"Just relax ma'am," the nurse said as she donned a mask. 'Your wife is right through here."

Olivia nodded, following her through the doors.

"Let me explain what is going to happen," the doctor said looking up and smiling. "We are currently administering a epidural block. Once that is in effect, I will make a small incision right above her pubic bone. From there, I will open the placenta individually and you two will finally get to meet your daughters."

Olivia nodded. "Sounds great," she said, going to stand beside Casey, taking her hand. "Yes, Case, it's me. If I don't wear all this, then I can't be in here with you," the detective responded when the ADA had eyed her a bit suspiciously.

Casey just nodded as she gripped Olivia's hand tighter.

Olivia leaned in, kissing her cheek through the mask, holding Casey's hand in both of hers. "It's going to be fine."

"I love you," Casey whispered.

"I love you too. Just think, soon we'll have our two perfect little girls," Olivia said.

"I know," Casey answered squeezing Olivia's hand tighter.

"It's going to be fine, Case," Olivia said.

"Ok ladies," the doctor said stepping in to the room, "are we ready to start the procedure?"

Olivia nodded, kissing Casey's cheek. "Yes. I think we are."

"The epidural should be in full effect within a few minutes and once that is done we will make the incision and you two ladies can meet your daughters. Now is the chance to ask any last minute questions if you have any."

"How long will it take for her to heal? How long will she be in the hospital? Will she be able to feed them naturally?" Olivia asked.

"Barring any complications Casey should be released within three to four days. It will take six to eight weeks possibly even longer for her to heal and there is no reason why she can't breast feed if that is what you two ladies would like to do."

Olivia nodded. She knew how Casey wanted to feed both of them. It created an eternal bond between Casey and the girls. She would want to hold them and love them, just like Olivia would. "Good. Do you have any questions, Case?"

"No none. I'm just ready to get this over with."

Olivia squeezed her hand. "We're ready."

"Then, Casey, you will feel some pressure," the doctor said as he began to make a small incision. "It will pass in a minute."

Olivia kissed her forehead, holding her hand tightly. "We're almost there, baby."

"Ladies, say hello to baby number one," the doctor said as he removed the first baby and held her up to show the ladies.

Olivia smiled, propping Casey's head up on her arm. "She has my eyes," she whispered. "And she's just as beautiful as you."

"Is she healthy? Is she ok?" Casey asked with tears in her eyes.

"The nurse will take her and weigh her and measure her," the doctor said handing the baby off to the nurse that was waiting. "She will be able to answer all those questions in just a few minutes."

Olivia smiled. "Good. She looks healthy."

"In a minute, ladies, you can meet baby girl number two," the doctor said as he went back to the procedure.

"We're so close. One more," the detective said, kissing her cheek.

"Ladies, welcome baby girl number two to the world," the doctor said holding the little girl up for them to see before handing her off to the waiting a nurse

Olivia smiled. "She's beautiful, isn't she sweetie?"

"Just like her mother," Casey said looking up at Olivia.

Olivia winked. "Yeah, just like her."

"I meant you, my love," Casey said straining her neck to try and see the babies.

Olivia smiled, kissing her gently. "Don't worry. The nurses have to check them and weigh and measure them. It's going to be fine."

"I want to hold them," Casey said catching a glimpse of one nurse with a baby that was being weighed

Olivia nodded. "We will. Soon. Just let everyone do their jobs. You did great."

"Will you go over to them? I would feel better if you were over there."

"Are you sure, baby?" the detective asked. "Why?"

"Positive," Casey said as she attempted to push Olivia in the direction of the babies. "I can't see them and I want to know they aren't hurting them. I know you will protect them."

Olivia smiled, walking over to the babies, smiling at them. "Anything I can do?"

"Just stay out of the way so we can work," a nurse said smiling up at Olivia.

"Has one of them been cleared yet?" the detective asked.

"We are almost finished with baby one and then we will take her over to the mother."

Olivia nodded. "Okay," she said, walking over to sit beside Casey. "They're almost done with our first little girl."

"Olivia, go back over there stay with them until they are brought to me."

Olivia nodded walking back over to wait beside them, making sure to stay out of the way.

"Do you ladies have a name chosen for the babies?" The nurse asked looking up at Olivia as she tightly wrapped the little baby in a pink blanket.

Olivia smiled. "Serena for one. Alexis for the other."

"What would you like baby one called?"

Olivia smiled. "Alexis."

"Would you like to take Alexis to meet her mom?" The nurse asked as she cradled the baby.

"Actually, could I...?" Olivia asked.

"Absolutely," the nurse said placing the baby in Olivia's arms.

Olivia smiled, holding little Alexis gently and securely as she walked over to Casey. "Hi baby girl," she cooed, sitting beside Casey. "You're so sweet," she said, kissing the top of her head before handing her to Casey. "Here's Mommy."

"Hey sweetheart, we've been waiting to meet you," Casey cried as she gently took the baby from Olivia. "I love you."

Olivia smiled, kissing both of their cheeks "I love you too," she said, going over the wait for their second little girl.

"Ma'am I take it baby two is Serena?" the nurse said as she bundled the baby up in preparation of handing her to Olivia.

The detective nodded. "Exactly."

"Well, Mama, here is baby Serena just as healthy as baby Alexis," the nurse said handing Olivia to bundled up infant, "congratulations."

Olivia smiled, holding little Serena close to her, kissing her cheek and her tiny hand that was sticking out from the blankets before, gently, sticking it inside as she walked over to sit beside Casey, snuggling the baby close. "Hi baby girl."

"They're both healthy?" Casey asked smiling up at Olivia.

Olivia smiled, sitting beside her on the bed. "Yes, they're both healthy. I have Serena, so you have Alexis."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think?

Reviews: ladybugsmomma, Kikilia14 & tummer22

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Case-Benson & livsgirl**


End file.
